I'm not afraid of you anymore.

[merry gardens]

While searching for information about dyslexia and reading problems, I found TWTM Special Needs Board. (This place is a wealth of knowledge!) I began discussion and sharing my experience about my ds. Gradually, I started sharing more about a few of my other children. But not all.

 

I just updated my signature. I no longer fear that people reading my posts will "blame" me or my large family for his dyslexia. (And if anyone reading this does think that's the problem, then-- :tongue_smilie:--you don't know very much about dyslexia!)

 

Out of respect for my children's privacy, I limit how much specific information I share about them on the internet. Yet..out of respect for those of you here who have helped me and shared with me about your children over the years, I wanted to share now a bit more about myself and my family.

 

Thank you for helping me overcome some of my internet shyness.:blush:

 

 

--Mary

 

(Please don't quote me! I trust those of you who read and post on this board regularly...but I might want to go back and edit later. :cool:)

Edited August 23, 2012 by merry gardens

[Twilight Woods]

:)

[zenjenn]

It is normal to be self-conscious - especially when you are homeschooling. This is horrible but sometimes I find myself justifying that I'm not a sucky parent/teacher by pointing out that my 2nd child has no academic problems at all - as if that redeems me for the fact that my eldest is dyslexic. I mean *I* am confident in what I am doing, but any time my dyslexic daughter's issues come up, I am acutely aware that others may be judging me - that she has issues because I deprived her of attending school (even though I know for a fact that she was doing nothing but falling further and further behind during her 1.5 yrs at school.)

 

In some ways I think it's easier to be self-conscious when it's a manageable learning disability. I mean if your child has Down's syndrome or something, no one blames the parent.. but if your child is still writing letters backwards and you're homeschooling... it's easy to worry people are going to think you are just a slacker homeschooling parent.

 

So welcome! Hope you find some great info here - I know I have!

[PeterPan]

I'm so happy you're sharing more! :) I've often wondered about you and your situation. Somehow I had you plugged in my mind as having two dc, yet it never fit your posts completely. It always seemed like there were more kids cropping up, hehe. :D

 

Well cool. Congrats on your large family! Why would someone blame you? Mercy, we've had others here on the boards with large families and SN in a number of the kids. I think it's just the opposite, that people respect them for the EFFORT the moms make to specialize even when it IS hard to carve that time. So I think you should wear it like the badge of honor it is, lady! :)

[Tiramisu]

Thanks! I love the update and it means a lot to me that you share your knowledge and experience.

 

Juggling SN in a large family is something I wouldn't mind hearing about. A big part of the difficulty of dealing with SN is the dynamics between different dc--like having one with CAPD and two sensory avoiders living together with another kid who goes around shrieking at the top of her lungs.

 

I need more privacy and would like to change my username. I've had some nice suggestions from a sweet friend here, but I'm still searching for the perfect fit. Please pm me with any ideas. Not kidding.

[PeterPan]

Thanks! I love the update and it means a lot to me that you share your knowledge and experience.

 

Juggling SN in a large family is something I wouldn't mind hearing about. A big part of the difficulty of dealing with SN is the dynamics between different dc--like having one with CAPD and two sensory avoiders living together with another kid who goes around shrieking at the top of her lungs.

 

I need more privacy and would like to change my username. I've had some nice suggestions from a sweet friend here, but I'm still searching for the perfect fit. Please pm me with any ideas. Not kidding.

 

Totally there with you! Thought I was gonna lose my mind the other day!

[FairProspects]

Yay!

[Shellers]

:001_smile:

[merry gardens]

It is normal to be self-conscious - especially when you are homeschooling. This is horrible but sometimes I find myself justifying that I'm not a sucky parent/teacher by pointing out that my 2nd child has no academic problems at all - as if that redeems me for the fact that my eldest is dyslexic. I mean *I* am confident in what I am doing, but any time my dyslexic daughter's issues come up, I am acutely aware that others may be judging me - that she has issues because I deprived her of attending school (even though I know for a fact that she was doing nothing but falling further and further behind during her 1.5 yrs at school.)

 

In some ways I think it's easier to be self-conscious when it's a manageable learning disability. I mean if your child has Down's syndrome or something, no one blames the parent.. but if your child is still writing letters backwards and you're homeschooling... it's easy to worry people are going to think you are just a slacker homeschooling parent.

 

So welcome! Hope you find some great info here - I know I have!

Yes, that's what I do. I worry that our homeschooling will get the blame if he's not learning. On bad days (or when I encounter really great schools with exceptional teachers) I wonder if it realy is somehow my fault. But then, I look at how well my others do. I've put 10x more effort into teaching the child who struggles, while his next younger sister simply picked up reading by osmosis while overhearing only bits and pieces of his reading instruction!

[merry gardens]

I'm so happy you're sharing more! :) I've often wondered about you and your situation. Somehow I had you plugged in my mind as having two dc, yet it never fit your posts completely. It always seemed like there were more kids cropping up, hehe. :D

 

Well cool. Congrats on your large family! Why would someone blame you? Mercy, we've had others here on the boards with large families and SN in a number of the kids. I think it's just the opposite, that people respect them for the EFFORT the moms make to specialize even when it IS hard to carve that time. So I think you should wear it like the badge of honor it is, lady! :)

Thanks. :) At one time I did have only two children. That was before I had three, then five, (we skip counted right through four ;)) then six.... It seems to me too like more kids keep cropping up. :D

 

People might blame homeschooling mothers if they don't understand learning disabilities and/or they don't respect homeschooling. Plus some people have a prejudice against large families, (certainly not you nor the people I've encountered here!) Thanks for saying I should wear this like a badge of honor. I really respect you and the moms here-- and that's why I wanted to share more.

[RamonaQ]

:001_smile:

[merry gardens]

Thanks! I love the update and it means a lot to me that you share your knowledge and experience.

 

Juggling SN in a large family is something I wouldn't mind hearing about. A big part of the difficulty of dealing with SN is the dynamics between different dc--like having one with CAPD and two sensory avoiders living together with another kid who goes around shrieking at the top of her lungs.

 

I need more privacy and would like to change my username. I've had some nice suggestions from a sweet friend here, but I'm still searching for the perfect fit. Please pm me with any ideas. Not kidding.

If you change your user name, please let some of us know it's you.

 

Maybe it's just me and my family, but I sometimes feel like every child is a "special needs" child at some point, in some way. Everyone has a quirk or two. For a long time I secretly questioned when I heard other people talking about learning disabilities because much of it seemed like the "normal" stuff I saw in my own kids. Now I realize that none of us were really ever "normal" :lol: . Is anyone??? We're likely a bunch of 2E's--and most had enough strengths to pass for normal. But ds with dyslexia fell much farther below the norm when it came to learning how to read. When I worry about what other people will think, much of that reflects what I used to think about learning disabilities. Ah, blessed humility!

 

On the plus side of having one child with dyslexia severe enough to show up right from the start, I've aquired many skills and expertise that benefit the rest of my children. Even with the very bright ones--and even before we homeschooled--spelling scores were significantly lower than other areas. The only child of mine who scores high marks in spelling on standardized tests was taught with O-G methods right from the start. All those "hands on" learning techniqes benefit everyone!

 

My CAPD child (just diagnosed this spring) probably has the hardest time in my large family. Background noise gives him trouble--and there's almost always background noise!

[Beans27]

:001_smile:

[Tiramisu]

If you change your user name, please let some of us know it's you.

 

Maybe it's just me and my family, but I sometimes feel like every child is a "special needs" child at some point, in some way. Everyone has a quirk or two. For a long time I secretly questioned when I heard other people talking about learning disabilities because much of it seemed like the "normal" stuff I saw in my own kids. Now I realize that none of us were really ever "normal" :lol: . Is anyone??? We're likely a bunch of 2E's--and most had enough strengths to pass for normal. But ds with dyslexia fell much farther below the norm when it came to learning how to read. When I worry about what other people will think, much of that reflects what I used to think about learning disabilities. Ah, blessed humility!

 

On the plus side of having one child with dyslexia severe enough to show up right from the start, I've aquired many skills and expertise that benefit the rest of my children. Even with the very bright ones--and even before we homeschooled--spelling scores were significantly lower than other areas. The only child of mine who scores high marks in spelling on standardized tests was taught with O-G methods right from the start. All those "hands on" learning techniqes benefit everyone!

 

My CAPD child (just diagnosed this spring) probably has the hardest time in my large family. Background noise gives him trouble--and there's almost always background noise!

 

I've definitely noticed increased difficulty over time for dd. Sometimes I've wondered if it's her or if it's just our family growing.

[peacefully]

.

[Tiramisu]

When I first saw your thread title, I clicked in thinking, "All right, who's picking on merry g?" :angry: Just so you know, I was getting ready to be all in a huff for you. :D

 

Thank you for deciding to share more here. Deciding how much to reveal on these message boards is always a tough call, but I'm honored and touched that you feel comfortable enough with us to give us a glimpse into your situation.

 

And now I'm back to feeling indignant that you might have ever felt stigmatized for having a large family or blamed for your child's learning issues. I certainly can't see that happening here. We've got your back, mg, so you just tell us all you want about all of your kids. :001_smile:

 

How 'bout if I change my user name to illek? ;)

[peacefully]

.