It's Friday, would you like a laugh

[Unicorn.]

(1)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a

human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very

small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;

it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

 

(2)

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they

were drawing.

She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to

one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing

was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

 

 

(3)

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father

and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy, the oldest of a family, answered,

"Thou shall not kill."

 

(4)

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up

and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a

doctor'."

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

she's dead."

 

 

(5)

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to

make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the

blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position,

the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

 

(6)

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The

nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

 

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the

apples."

 

 

 

Have a great weekend!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thanks, Unicorn. I needed a laugh!

[gardenschooler]

Thanks! I love #2. Keep 'em coming - I always appreciate a good joke!

[MelodyInTx]

Oldies but goodies. Thanks for sharing.

[Quiver0f10]

Very funny, thanks!

[cricket1178]

Thanks for the laugh!