Correct grammar on this?

[Prairie~Phlox]

This is for on a 4-H project, do we need more commas? and is farther correct? Gosh I hate grammar, dd is a natural, ds, not so much.

 

When you pull the trigger the slide comes back.

Then when you pull it back farther the slide will go to its original state.

When the safety is on you can pull the trigger,

but it will not catch on the slide.

[pitterpatter]

Wasn't this posted the other day?

 

My thoughts on commas...

 

When you pull the trigger, the slide comes back.

Then, when you pull it back farther, the slide will go to its original state.

When the safety is on, you can pull the trigger,

but it will not catch on the slide.

[go_go_gadget]

 

When you pull the trigger, the slide comes back.

Then, when you pull it back farther, the slide will go to its original state.

When the safety is on, you can pull the trigger,

but it will not catch on the slide.

 

I agree with the above, except in the case of the comma after "on" in the third sentence, which, in my opinion, would be extraneous.

[orozco]

First to your question about farther. I agree with your use of farther as you are indincating more distance. I always remember because "far" is included as part of the word.

 

As for the commas, I agree with pitterpatter in using commas after the introductory phrases and before the coordinating conjunction (but).

[Wildiris]

This is for on a 4-H project, do we need more commas? and is farther correct? Gosh I hate grammar, dd is a natural, ds, not so much.

 

When you pull the trigger the slide comes back.

Then when you pull it back farther the slide will go to its original state.

When the safety is on you can pull the trigger,

but it will not catch on the slide.

 

A remake:

Pull the trigger and the slide moves back.

Pull it back farther and the slide goes to its original place.

When the safety is on, and it should be on, the trigger can be pulled without catching on the slide.

 

Generally, one does not use a 2nd person "you" in formal writing.