Mrs. Readsalot Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 My childhood was disfunctional at best. My father died when I was nine and my mother started dating soon after. She went out often and also would go away with men for weekends etc. My female role model was terrible. I had no rules. The less my mother saw of me the better. When I was 18 I returned home from college and told my mother I was spending the summer with my boyfriends family. She didn't even ask for a phone number. When I was 11-14 I was treated inappropriately by one of my mother's boyfriends ( imagine the worse and you will probably be right) I found out as an adult she knew about it and had no excuse or remorse over doing nothing. All of this lead to a great deal of nonmoral behavior on my part. Frankly I just didn't know any better, and I wish I had. I became a Christian as an adult and at times I regret not having a more moral upbringing. We are raising our son to be a moral young man, but I don't even talk to him about my past. I am very embarrassed by it. He recently talked to me about wanting a purity ring and the first thing I did was praise the Lord for the moral lesson we have taught sinking in. I wish I had had the same lessons...Thanks for letting cry on the boards shoulder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kribby Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 that is so sweet of your son and what a wonderful job you are doing raising him and you should be so proud. We always try to do better for our children then what we had. I had a bad childhood too, it wasn't fun, to this date I talk to none of my family do it.. it wasn't good. I raised my girls to respect and treat others like they want to treated... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Readsalot Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 I had a bad childhood too, it wasn't fun, to this date I talk to none of my family do it.. it wasn't good. I raised my girls to respect and treat others like they want to treated... I understand your feeling toward family. I also do not speak with my mother. I tried for a few years to forgive her, but she did not feel she needled forgiving. Her bad example continues so my husband decided this was not good for our son. If she ever needs me I will be there, but for now it is best this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 :grouphug: Sounds like you're raising a wonderful young man. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 This thought keeps me focused. New life starts here. My children will have better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 :grouphug: We are raising our son to be a moral young man, but I don't even talk to him about my past. I am very embarrassed by it. He recently talked to me about wanting a purity ring and the first thing I did was praise the Lord for the moral lesson we have taught sinking in. I wish I had had the same lessons...Thanks for letting cry on the boards shoulder. Obviously you are raising your son right by the things you've described. I do want to :grouphug: you though and mention one thing. As a young child I was sexual abused. As a teen, I did drugs. I snuck out. I got prego right out of high school. I was raised in a Christian home & I was stupid. HOWEVER.. I have been able to, MORE THEN ONCE, use my teen life as part of my testimoney to my dd, & her friends. Don't be embarrassed by your past, you were young, didn't know better-- and the worst of what you described WASN'T YOUR FAULT. People that knew me then & know me know have told my kids they'd never recongize the then me. I take that as a compliment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianne Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 My childhood was disfunctional at best. My father died when I was nine and my mother started dating soon after. She went out often and also would go away with men for weekends etc. My female role model was terrible. I had no rules. The less my mother saw of me the better. When I was 18 I returned home from college and told my mother I was spending the summer with my boyfriends family. She didn't even ask for a phone number. When I was 11-14 I was treated inappropriately by one of my mother's boyfriends ( imagine the worse and you will probably be right) I found out as an adult she knew about it and had no excuse or remorse over doing nothing. All of this lead to a great deal of nonmoral behavior on my part. Frankly I just didn't know any better, and I wish I had. I became a Christian as an adult and at times I regret not having a more moral upbringing. We are raising our son to be a moral young man, but I don't even talk to him about my past. I am very embarrassed by it. He recently talked to me about wanting a purity ring and the first thing I did was praise the Lord for the moral lesson we have taught sinking in. I wish I had had the same lessons...Thanks for letting cry on the boards shoulder. You are not alone Karen, :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa at Home Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Dh had a very pathetic mom.. He really had no oversight whatsoever. He was a latchkey child all the way. It was just God's intervention that he grew up to be a moral, outstanding man. I say that he grew up well not because of his mom, but despite her. And in total contrast, I have seen children who grew up in homes that I know, were loving, considerate, and Christian, but the children are just awful. Seemingly not a moral fiber in their being, party central for the whole town. The parents did everything right...and still. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Sure, there is such a thing as a way less than perfect parent, but there just isn't any use harboring resentment, guilt, or whatever emotion you could name, about the past. So, you had a bad past? God brought you through it didn't He? Today you have a wonderful family and are reaping wonderful rewards from doing things the right way. You still have to keep praying your family through. Don't fret about the past. It's over, and you lived through it to come out victorious despite what you've been through. Use your past to help someone else. Live in peace, you are so blessed!!! :grouphug: ~Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 All of you overcoming difficult childhoods and giving your children something better are breaking chains that maybe lasted for generations. That's a wonderful thing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in IL Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Those experiences made you, you. Your life as described is definitely not the "ideal." But, look how you have prospered with your faith, your son and your current life. Everyone makes stupid choices at one time or another! With mine happening so much in my early years, I kinda hope I have my "stupid" choices all used up and maybe all that is left is smart ones!! Rejoice in your current life and be thrilled that you "made it." My husband had a really amazingly bad upbringing. He is so successful in his personal life as well as his professional life!! It is amazing to see how God has led him to where he is. He (God) sees us through! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Yes, I agree with Shelly. I think God redeems our experiences and uses them to reach others. We were just talking about St. Patrick, and how he was enslaved by the Irish. What a horrible, horrible thing. Years later, however, he was able to bring them the Gospel because he spoke the language and knew the culture--God redeemed his experience and used it to reach thousands. He will and has redeemed your experience, and is using it in your parenting of your precious son. Mourn the losses, ask for forgiveness and for strength to forgive, and remember the lessons learned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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