Snickerdoodle Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 My son (just now 7) falls apart with frustration at every little task. Please tell me he's going through a phase. He needed socks so he stood there crying and falling apart about it. He writes and makes a mistake and cries and falls apart about it. He needs a drink of water, he stands in the kitchen and cries about it. He does have a sort of "glass half empty" personality anyways and this behavior doesn't seem out of line of his personality although it does seem more intense than usual. He just seems all of a sudden so helpless. Help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I really believe (have to believe for my own sanity) that this is a 7 yo thing. The closer my dd gets to 7, the worse this gets. And she's my little sunshine girl so it's really messing up my world. Several people have recommended a book, "Your 7 yo, a life in minor key"...I think that's the title. Anyway, I haven't read it yet. It's here somewhere at this house and I suppose I ought to see if there's somethign that can prevent this girl from spending the next year in her room for whining and pouting. Good luck. ETA: my oldest did grow out of this. She's very much more upbeat and happy about life in general, so it does pass apparently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country Girl Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 You mean I have hope that this is just a phase? My 7yo ds is going through something similar and I thought it was just him. I'm glad to hear that maybe it is a normal stage of development and he will grow out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elm in NJ Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Hey, one of my 7 year old twins does this. But then so does my 9 year old. Elmeryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I believe it is likely just a phase. My older ds, now 10, was this way. It was crazy sometimes. He used to cry over every little thing. Now, he can get nailed in the head with a soccer ball and brush it off nicely. He still has emotional and sensitive moments, but not over every little thing. There is a light!!! He will learn how to cope and deal with things and it will get much better! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I understand the frustration of that though. Just had to ride it out here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacey in MA Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 She is normally so cheery, but the last few months, she's been a wreck! Everything frustrates her, and she is sooo affected by "justice"- if things aren't just even w/ her siblings she gets all bent out of shape. She also seems suddenly more competitive (like racing to the car, being the first one in the door, getting her seatbelt on first, getting OUT first, etc. - all seemingly harmless, but her degree of frustration when she loses is what I think is out of balance. Anyway, I'm told by friends that it's a phase. I think they're right. I have seem her get this way when she goes through growth spurts. She's also been especially clumsy lately, which usually also indicates growth spurt for her! Hang in there and do the best you can.... - Stacey in MA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 At the risk of being unencouraging, I think this is a personality thing and not a phase. Three of my kids have been 7, and only one has had trouble with that level of frustration. And in her case, it started before she was 7. The good news is, she is getting better. (She's 8 now.) But I wouldn't say we're completely out of the woods yet. We've found that sometimes if we let her have her fit (in her room, where it can't bother us), she'll pull herself together and come back to finish the task. It also helps to matter-of-factly offer suggestions for how she can help herself ("using your base-10 blocks might help" or "there's a stool over in the corner you can use to reach the cups"). It's important for us not to get sucked into the drama. :grouphug: I know it can be tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 I think I'm going to have to let him start doing more things for himself and letting him work through his frustration. I can't change his outlook on life or his personality, but he at least needs a sense that he can do things by himself. :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 At the risk of being unencouraging, I think this is a personality thing and not a phase. Three of my kids have been 7, and only one has had trouble with that level of frustration. And in her case, it started before she was 7. The good news is, she is getting better. (She's 8 now.) But I wouldn't say we're completely out of the woods yet. We've found that sometimes if we let her have her fit (in her room, where it can't bother us), she'll pull herself together and come back to finish the task. It also helps to matter-of-factly offer suggestions for how she can help herself ("using your base-10 blocks might help" or "there's a stool over in the corner you can use to reach the cups"). It's important for us not to get sucked into the drama. :grouphug: I know it can be tough. I know what you are saying here. I do think it is a phase. But along with the personality too. The personality will come out amplifying the phase, I think. At least, that's what I think and have seen here. For us, it has gotten better. But his personality is still what it is. He has to mature and learn to deal with things. Also, when kids are going through developmental changes, regardless of whether or not you can identify them, they become more of something. Like more emotional, frustrated more easily, more tired, eating more. More of something, KWIM. How it comes out is related to the personality of the child so the phase is connected. Okay, so that was my uneducated theory! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 Also, when kids are going through developmental changes, regardless of whether or not you can identify them, they become more of something. Like more emotional, frustrated more easily, more tired, eating more. More of something, KWIM. How it comes out is related to the personality of the child so the phase is connected. Okay, so that was my uneducated theory! OKay, this made sense to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I know what you are saying here. I do think it is a phase. But along with the personality too. The personality will come out amplifying the phase, I think. At least, that's what I think and have seen here. For us, it has gotten better. But his personality is still what it is. He has to mature and learn to deal with things. Also, when kids are going through developmental changes, regardless of whether or not you can identify them, they become more of something. Like more emotional, frustrated more easily, more tired, eating more. More of something, KWIM. How it comes out is related to the personality of the child so the phase is connected. Okay, so that was my uneducated theory! I think I understand what you are saying, and I agree to some extent. My easily frustrated child's twin has been intensely legalistic during this same age range. ("No, it's not a tree, Mom. It's an *apple* tree.") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2legomaniacs Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 I think I understand what you are saying, and I agree to some extent. My easily frustrated child's twin has been intensely legalistic during this same age range. ("No, it's not a tree, Mom. It's an *apple* tree.") Yes! And during that age range, they also become very aware of specifics. My older is the king of that. I will say, put your shoes on. You mean Crocs? Umm, yes. Crocs are specific kind of shoe. Some kids are very focused on the detail. And they start to become aware of equality vs inequality. A big focus on fairness too. And how much they get in to this, I think, depends on their personality and such. Each child is different, so things will manifest according to the particulars of that child's personality. So they just become "more of something" as best as I can describe and from what I have seen with my kids thus far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 After reading all the posts I feel like there is not much for me to say, but I did want to add that I had a set of books once by author Louise Bates Ames. Each book described one year in a child's life and were titled "Your One-Year Old, Your Two-Year Old, etc." I remember distinctly, because a friend was experiencing this same phenomenom with her 7yo, that the book said 7 was a negative age. They said children go through cycles of positive and negative and that 7 is just one of those negative things. The book is subtitled "Life in a Minor Key." HTH just a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 It may well be a phase and something to coach your child through. However, I will suggest one other possibility. When my son gets floppy and tearful, it usually means his iron is really low. He suffers from chronic anemia. If this is really a problem with your child, you might just have some bloodwork done. If you do, make sure they test both his ferritin and his hemoglobin, since hemoglobin tells only half the story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemywhirlygirls Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 Both of my older girls did this a couple of times. My youngest is 5 and she's had one bout. In the end, I decided it was a phase in our case and seemed to be related to the tension of transitioning from being "little girls" to being "big girls". They realized that the excitement of being big girls, brought a bit of grief/loss (they couldn't express it well--it was a realization) about leaving "little girldom" behind...perceived or real. More responsibility, more expectation for following instructions, helping around the house, self-control, etc., loss of some freedoms, loss of being helped a lot of the time, loss of being ooohed and ahhhhed about at much, etc. Actually, when I think about it, both of my older girls did, at some point, say they didn't want to be big. They wanted to stay small. Fascinating. I have a sociology background....so this whole process is a fascinating study. Maybe our experience will ring true with some of you. Of course, we did address the whining and crying about every little thing and sudden helplessness in those moments. We "heard" them/loved on them/were loving and then remained firm with whatever direction we had given. They seemed to find comfort in being "worked with" and we moved through it pretty steadily. (I won't lie...there were times that didn't go as smoothly as others....but as parents we remained consistent with our part.) Have a great day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted June 19, 2008 Author Share Posted June 19, 2008 However, I will suggest one other possibility. When my son gets floppy and tearful, it usually means his iron is really low. He suffers from chronic anemia. If this is really a problem with your child, you might just have some bloodwork done. If you do, make sure they test both his ferritin and his hemoglobin, since hemoglobin tells only half the story. OK, he has been treated for anemia in the past. Hmmmm.... I hadn't thought of that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 19, 2008 Share Posted June 19, 2008 OK, he has been treated for anemia in the past. Hmmmm.... I hadn't thought of that... Ferritin is a measure of your iron stores. Your ferritin score can therefore get really low before your hemoglobin does. As such, iron supplements can bring hemoglobin back up to acceptable numbers, but if your iron stores are still lacking then anemia will set in again. Make sure your doctor checks both--you need to insist on BOTH tests. Then supplement until BOTH his hemoglobin and ferritin are healthy. At that point you would also continue running blood tests every 4-6 months to make sure he is able to maintain healthy iron stores. If he cannot maintain he will need continued supplementation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.