beachnut Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 Is it too late to get a diagnosis for my 15yo son, whom I suspect may have Asperger's Syndrome? I never even knew what this was until a few months ago, and it seems to explain a lot. Quick background: My son has always struggled to make and keep friends, and the situation seems even more noticeable now that he is high school age. He went to public school for grades K-1 and 6-7 and never made any real friends in this setting. (He does have 2 or 3 friends that he occasionally does things with. But it is not on a regular basis. And he seems to seek them out more than they seek him out.) He's had various quirky behaviors over the years, but nothing severe. He is highly functioning, tested as gifted (does that matter?) and seems socially awkward (more so than the typical, awkward teen boy). Now that he's in 9th grade, he takes art and band classes at the local high school, and I was hoping things would click with a few of the marching band members. But, 7 months into the school year, he has yet to make a real friend. (He seems to think he has friends at high school, but really they are just acquaintances. No one ever calls him or invites him to do anything on the weekends. It is breaking my heart.) Would it be crushing to his self-esteem to seek out a diagnosis this late in the game? Would it even matter at this point? What positive things could result from such a diagnosis? Please advise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I'm giving you a bump. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I am not a BTDT mom, but in researching the situation with our 6 yo, I have found psychology practices in our area that offer therapeutic social skills groups for kids, including teens, who are diagnosed with particular issues. They seem to be in the neighborhood of $30-$50 per session and are small group sessions conducted by a therapist. I have been told that these groups can be a huge help for those with Asperger's because they benefit from having social rules explained and having a chance to practice them in a safe setting. That is perhaps one possible benefit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachnut Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Thanks for the bump, Cindyg. And, thanks laundrycrisis, for the heads up about social skills training. That would be beneficial. I guess my main concern is that I don't want my son to feel like there's something terribly wrong with him by pursuing a diagnosis -- especially if the end result is that he doesn't have Asperger's, but he's just quirky and socially awkward more than most kids. The teen years are tough enough, and I wasn't sure if pursuing this path would be a help or a hindrance. I'd love to hear from others who've been down this path already. Could sure use some words of advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 You may want to post in Special Needs too - if you haven't already. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 I don't know about a late diagnosis because my son was diagnosed at age 9. I'm not sure about what benefit the actual diagnosis might have other than modifications during tests and classes. For example, an Aspie might qualify for special help on the SAT or in college classes. My son is hoping to take that route because he works more slowly than others and he has a real problem with timed tests. To be honest, I haven't had much luck finding help for teenage Aspies. I even went to an autism center and they told me they were in the process of putting together social groups and there weren't many people interestd in teen groups. Everything seems geared to young children. My son has only ever had 1 friend in all his 15 yrs. They were friends for 5 years and then his mom stopped getting together with us claiming they were too busy. Days turned into weeks turned into months. My heart broke for my son. He hasn't had a friend in over 3 years and has no other opportunities to make friends. I'm hoping he connects with someone when he gets a job. He will live at home when, and if, he goes to college so I can't see him making friends there. It's not easy, I'll tell you that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Is it too late to get a diagnosis for my 15yo son, whom I suspect may have Asperger's Syndrome? I never even knew what this was until a few months ago, and it seems to explain a lot. Quick background: My son has always struggled to make and keep friends, and the situation seems even more noticeable now that he is high school age. He went to public school for grades K-1 and 6-7 and never made any real friends in this setting. (He does have 2 or 3 friends that he occasionally does things with. But it is not on a regular basis. And he seems to seek them out more than they seek him out.) He's had various quirky behaviors over the years, but nothing severe. He is highly functioning, tested as gifted (does that matter?) and seems socially awkward (more so than the typical, awkward teen boy). Now that he's in 9th grade, he takes art and band classes at the local high school, and I was hoping things would click with a few of the marching band members. But, 7 months into the school year, he has yet to make a real friend. (He seems to think he has friends at high school, but really they are just acquaintances. No one ever calls him or invites him to do anything on the weekends. It is breaking my heart.) Would it be crushing to his self-esteem to seek out a diagnosis this late in the game? Would it even matter at this point? What positive things could result from such a diagnosis? Please advise. My ds is high functioning Autistic Spectrum. My answers to your questions are, no it isn't too late to get a diagnosis. No, it won't crush his self esteem. It may or may not matter, but what benefitted my ds from getting a diagnosis is knowing that the quirky things about himself, the things he struggles with are hard not because he is stupid (IQ 150) or doesn't get it but because he is AS. It isn't an excuse, but something to understand and overcome. It makes my ds feel better about himself to know that this issue makes things harder for him, but he accomplishes all he does in spite of it. Is your ds sad about his lack of friends? Mine has a few friends, but isn't really in pursuit of more. He is an introvert. I hope he continues to have a few good friends throughout his life, but will never have lots of friends. I know some Aspies are far more outgoing than my ds though and may miss the friendships more. Oh and being gifted is actually the norm among Aspies. It doesn't negate or in any way effect the diagnosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beachnut Posted March 13, 2012 Author Share Posted March 13, 2012 Thanks, Teaching'Mine! I didn't realize there was a Special Needs board. I'm heading over there now. Night Elf, I've also seen lots of Aspie things geared toward younger kids, that's why I was wondering. What's out there for teens and did I already miss the boat on this? It may or may not matter, but what benefitted my ds from getting a diagnosis is knowing that the quirky things about himself, the things he struggles with are hard not because he is stupid (IQ 150) or doesn't get it but because he is AS. It makes my ds feel better about himself to know that this issue makes things harder for him, but he accomplishes all he does in spite of it. Is your ds sad about his lack of friends? Mine has a few friends, but isn't really in pursuit of more. He is an introvert. I never thought of this -- that a diagnosis might help him feel better about and more accepting of his quirkiness. My DS is also an introvert and doesn't share his feelings much (even with me), but I don't think he's sad about his lack of friends. I honestly don't think he's even aware that other kids don't call him or come over. But I sure notice and I feel so helpless. Thank you, all, for your insights. Much appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Night Elf, I've also seen lots of Aspie things geared toward younger kids, that's why I was wondering. What's out there for teens and did I already miss the boat on this? I'm sorry, but I have no ideas. I did get a suggestion to go to the autism centers but just looking on the websites made me feel sad. Everything they talk about is early intervention, early intervention, early intervention. My problem is that I don't know what sort of help would benefit my son so I don't even know what to ask for when I call. Honestly, I've given up. I figure it's my job to help my son learn to cope in this world, which is really all any of us can do. Truly, the only problem he has is not having any friends. And I don't see how an autism center can help that. We simply do not have many opportunities to meet other teenagers. He is part of a meetup group for teen Aspies but we haven't gone to any of the meetups in a few months. The other kids were connecting, at least in a way, but my son didn't do much of anything other than sit and listen to what the other teens were talking about. His school work is coming along slowly but surely. He has improved a great deal since he started high school classes. I don't have a list of things he should be doing. I'm just going by instinct and knowing I have to help him be able to succeed in college. Since I've been in college recently, I can think of a few things he needs to work on. So that's what we've been doing. Things like writing math problems out instead of doing them all in his head, learning to type, learning to take notes and study for tests, and how to write for more than a couple of minutes without feeling like his hand is about to fall off. Like I said, it's slow going but at least it's going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasda Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 There are yahoo groups that talk about aspie issues. Check them out. Aspienestencouragers@yahoogroups.com HomeschoolingAspies@yahoogroups.com There's a guy that wrote a ebook regarding his experiences and thoughts about his being on the spectrum. It's called, Congratulations, Your Child is Strange. Kind of a weird title, but don't let that stop you from reading it as it has good information. You can download it free. Also on this site is a link to a site where spectrum people post. You might want to look around and see if there is something there that will assist you. asdstuff.com/grats.html The local TACA might be a place to call for further information/support. http://www.tacanow.org/ Look to see if there are social support classes in your area. There are specifically ones for teens in our area. Is your teen motivated to learn social skills? The guy who runs one of the classes here says that it's important for the teen to want to learn. Hope this helps you a bit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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