vlgimmelli Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Hello, This is our second year homeschooling. My son (12) and daughter (6) love homeschooling and never want to go back to public school. At times during homeschool, my son acts up and when given a consequence if behavior does not shape up, he still acts up(talking back, not nice, screaming, making fun) and then comes the consequence. Then comes the temper tantrums(yelling, screaming, crying, jumping, "I hate you".....just having a fit). At times I feel like I am hurting him instead of helping him. Unfortunately, I have no support at all, no family support, no friends support, and my husband is seriously thinking of putting him back to public school because he doesn't want me to get upset or see me getting verbally abused by my son. At times I question myself if it is the best for him. Any advise or encouragement would be so appreciate right now. Having a rough day again today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlgimmelli Posted January 19, 2012 Author Share Posted January 19, 2012 Thank you so much Michelle. I will keep a journal and see what is triggering these behaviors. I believe one of the reasons the behaviors come about is lack of structure. We are moving to PA in a week and it has been a bit stressful. I am thinking that a virtual school like K12 may be good for him since there is structure. Another mom had told me that SOS is good because there is structure also. Any thoughts?? Thanks again for your response. P.S. He is special needs. He was diagnosed with High functioning autism when he was 2.8 years old and was in public school and mainstreamed and taking speech, O/T. He was bullied and made fun of at school which after so long, I decided enough is enough and pulled him out. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 You've gotten some great advice from Michele above. It might help to adopt the perspective that "all behavior is communication". Anytime your son acts out, try to look past the behavior or the hurtful words for what he's really trying to communicate (all the potential issues in Michele's list above). When those various needs are better addressed, the need to act out will go down. My DS (dx Asperger's) used to be exactly as you described your son. He still has the occasional tantrum but the frequency and severity are way down (went from tantrums every few hours to a tantrum a couple times a month, if that). What helped him the most were diet changes and supplements (removing all of his "reactive" foods based on a food sensitivity test, switching to a mostly whole foods/unprocessed diet, and adding in various beneficial supplements). There are tons of threads on this board and the General Board on this topic - just do a search for "food sensitivity" or similar terms. I'd be glad to share more specifics about the changes we've made if you're interested. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I have a son with PDD NOS and the only things that have worked with him are removing his obsessions (computers/ video games) as a consequence for bad behavior, and paying him for good behavior. He gets $10 for 90+ on math and science tests, plus we pay him to help out around the house. He does a lot of chores and works very hard but academics have always been like pulling teeth, even though he's bright. Try to keep the faith, stick to your guns, don't be afraid to reward him. He hasn't physically threatened you, has he? This is a fear of mine as DS 14 is now quite a bit bigger than me. Though he has mellowed a lot since age 12. It's also possible he has PTSD from the bullying at school, has this been addressed in any way? PTSD can last a good while after a traumatic experience. For a long time my son wouldn't even stand near windows because he was so afraid a kid from school might be outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Could the upcoming move be stressing him out? Any 12 year old boy might react to moving but esp. one with Autism. 12 is also the time hormones are comig into play as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Could the upcoming move be stressing him out? Any 12 year old boy might react to moving but esp. one with Autism. 12 is also the time hormones are comig into play as well. I agree with the hormones aspect. My oldest son has high functioning autism and around the age of 12-13 is when we started to notice a real change in his temper. He would rage out of control for seemingly no reason. Certain things did affect it more than others (we discovered that he's highly sensitive to artificial colors, esp. red), but sometimes it was for no reason at all. He will be 18 in May and things have calmed down tremendously over the last year or so, but from the ages of 12 or 13 until around age 17, it was a roller coaster ride! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funnygirl Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Just wanted you to know that I know what you're dealing with and am sending you lots of prayers and good vibes today. Breathe peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlgimmelli Posted January 19, 2012 Author Share Posted January 19, 2012 Thank you everyone for such great encouragement and advice. Julie, can you share with me what supplements help your son,besides diet? I am willing to try anything that would help my son be happier and less uptight for no reason. Michelle, how did you and you son like virtual schooling in Pa? What are the pluses and what are the negatives? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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