Having a hard time scheduling everything!

[Trilliums]

This is my 9th graders current schedule. He works hard and doesn't try to shirk his school work. He has been so relaxed during winter break though, I am worried we are pushing him too hard. The week before winter break he was having bad dreams--I think a result of anxiety. I don't know how else to schedule in all the basics. Plus, there are even more subjects I'd like him to add! I'd love to know what others think of this schedule and the changes I am considering already. If you see areas that could benefit from change, please say. Starting earlier is not an option. That kid sleeps a lot, and as active as he is, I think he needs it.

 

breakfast/chores

9:00-10:30 am AoPS Geometry

10:30-11:30 Oak Meadow LA Lesson/Easy Grammar Ultimate 9/Wordly Wise 9

11:30-12:30 World History reading/writing (Spielvogel's World History Glencoe textbook)

12:30 Lunch

12:45 leave for public school Honors Chemistry and Principles of Eng.

Listen to audio lecture in car/discuss audio lecture--starting The Illiad in Jan.

3:20 return trip home--DS likes to spend the 20 minute car drive home doing homework from public school classes/reviewing/etc.

4:00 pm and later: Mandarin review, SAT question of the Day, math drills (he is trying to increase his speed in math), left over homework from public school classes (he has 3-6 hours of homework per week), eat, eat eat, watch some khan academy videos or other lectures, hang out with brother and/or neighbor, practice Tae kwon do, have some down time, etc.

 

Weekly/monthly activites:

Monday: 1x per month book club at library 7-8:30 plus 2x per month chess club 10-11 am (the kids may have to drop this--it cuts into the middle of the morning TOO much).

Tue: Weekly Taekwondo 6-8pm plus driving time

Wed: weekly Mandarin tutor 4:30-6pm

Thurs: Weekly Taekwondo 6-8 pm

Friday weekly Taekwondo 6:45-8pm

Sat 2x per month 4H meetings--kids help me prepare and test activity so this takes up time during week as well.

 

He does spend some evening time watching TV or on the computer, but this is not excessive and he also reads frequently or researches topics in physics or physical fitness. He listens to a variety of audio books as well--from sci fi to non-fiction.

 

I am wanting to add in Writing With Skill--the kids tried out the first lesson yesterday and I think they would both benefit from this program (so do they). I am considering dropping grammar and vocab and putting in WWS.

 

I am considering dropping the World History text book and turning this year into Ancient History. The monotony of daily reading, answering the questions and taking a unit test is getting to us both. Instead he could do a weekly reading from The New History of the World along with Vandiver's lectures on The Illiad, The Odyssey and The Aeneid and some other reading selections (lit) from TWTM reading list. Then a weekly writing assignment of what he has covered. He could possibly even drop OM LA 9 for the second half of the year. This is when I start to freak out. Having a weekly lesson for him to refer to soothes and reassures me--I feel as though he is at least covering the basics. BUT, in reality I know it is not providing him with a superior experience over a more piece-meal approach. I do want his transcripts to look at least somewhat cohesive though.

 

I'd like to get him started on A Rulebook for Arguments, but don't know when he would do it. Anyone have their kids work on this through the summer? I see a new workbook is out by Anthony Weston and it looks as though it covers all the material in his other book and has activities. I wonder if doing this over the summer is too condensed though. I have never seen this book in person: A Workbook for Arguments:A Complete Course in Critical Thinking by David Morrow and Anthony Weston.

 

The public school has an after school debate club I was hoping he would join. As it is, DS doesn't want to take on another obligation. I think he would benefit greatly from debate and am wondering if I should put something else on hold for now.

 

Obviously he spends a lot of time on Taekwondo and half of his time there is spent helping out in younger classes. He enjoys his time there and has grown so much from this. I do not see that lessening any time soon.

 

Next trimester he could take a class at the public school in electronics. I know he would love this class, but it would mean leaving for public school one hour earlier every day....just not enough hours in the day.

 

Also, soon there will be Mandarin courses offered 2 evenings per week, but I do not see where in the week they would possibly fit.

 

How do high schoolers fit all this stuff in their days????

 

The next 3 1/2 years will present even more options for him, particularly at the public high school: AP classes, computer programming, aerospace engineering, CAD, public speaking, Art of Problem Solving math classes...Yikes, I do not know how to schedule it all without giving the poor kid anxiety attacks! (Or the mom!)

[Teachin'Mine]

Honestly I haven't read through everything in your post yet, but just reading his daily schedule and his nighttime activities, IMO he's way over scheduled. I'd be stressed too. Good for you for recognizing that. :)

[elegantlion]

I think he's overscheduled. I would not push debate on him, from what I understand it can get very time involved.

 

I'm a big believer in down time for teens, it doesn't seem like he just gets to veg out. Our family needs down time to function well, so our belief probably falls near the opposite end. I would want at least one weeknight with no activities.

[Gwen in VA]

If your child wants to do all of the above, then go for it, but a really busy schedule requires the kid to be totally committed, ready to squeeze in school work into the odd minutes.

 

What does your son say? Does he feel overcommitted? Does he want to drop something? Does he want to do less schoolwork?

 

By the time high school rolls around, the kid needs to be involved in the decisions. I'd ask him and go from there.

[Teachin'Mine]

My advice would be to prioritize, because you're right that you can't do it all. Write down all he's doing and all you'd like to add, and then let him give each a priority rating and then work from there - include the extracurricular activities. High school lasts for 4 years. You don't have to do it all in the first year. We have problems trying to fit it all in too, and some great opportunities are really getting short changed. :tongue_smilie:

[Homeschoolnewbe]

I just got finished with a schedule like this for both my middle and high schoolers, and it was not fun. By the end of this semester we were all glad it was over and seriously reprioritizing for the winter/spring semester. I have to agree with the other posters. If you feel its too much, it probably is, but if he is committed to all of those things then all you can do is support him and help maintain that commitment level for the remainder of the year.

HTH

[Trilliums]

Thanks for the perspective everyone. :001_smile:

 

When I finished the post and looked over it myself I thought it was a tad much!

 

DS is very committed and hopes to get into competitive colleges. We discuss together classes to take, content, scheduling, etc. For example, last summer we discussed foreign language requirements and how to fulfill them. At that time his Grandad was learning a bit of Mandarin and extolling its virtues....so DS decided to pursue that for his foreign language. Recently I asked him if he was sure he wanted to stick with it for the duration of high school and I mentioned that Spanish or French (which I speak a bit) would be easier. But, no, he wants to stick with Mandarin because it is a challenge. last night we talked about the local Mandarin classes starting up and he wants to try to add them into his schedule as well.

 

He does push himself, but I know he feels some pressure from me as well in the scheduling. When we decide on the basic framework, he strives high. Then I try to translate all of that into a weekly schedule which seems like sooo much. The weekly schedule was a joint decision after discussing what would be most useful to keep him on track. I will definitely look into scheduling less for him.

 

I think I will drop the World History book for now and combine SS and LA more. Maybe it could be scheduled in on alternating days. Then he might have time in the morning to get the little tasks done and have more free afternoon time.

 

thanks!

[Jasda]

As far as debate goes, I know some kids who have been on teams and it did take up a lot of their time. There is a lot of research and preparation that goes into it. They liked debate though, so they were willing to give it the time it took.

[Janice in NJ]

 

He does push himself, but I know he feels some pressure from me as well in the scheduling. When we decide on the basic framework, he strives high. Then I try to translate all of that into a weekly schedule which seems like sooo much. The weekly schedule was a joint decision after discussing what would be most useful to keep him on track. I will definitely look into scheduling less for him.

 

I think I will drop the World History book for now and combine SS and LA more. Maybe it could be scheduled in on alternating days. Then he might have time in the morning to get the little tasks done and have more free afternoon time.

 

thanks!

 

Because you asked for advice.....

You should not be making this hourly schedule. He should. Yes, even in 9th grade. You can sit next to him. You can help. But he should be driving. (I KNOW it's HARD to do! Really hard!) It seems stressful, and often we mommas feel the stress of the clock and want to save our kids from it. I would not recommend that course of action. :001_smile: If this is what he wants, then he should be struggling with the clock, not you.

 

Otherwise you rob him. When the whole things spins successfully forward, you will feel the sense of accomplishment - not him. (And he will need that feeling for later; memory of past success is what drives them forward when things get tough.) And when he grows weary, he will lean on you for that gritty determination to persevere - when he should be leaning on his internal goals.

 

At this age it is INCREDIBLY hard to hand the wheel to the child. But you have to get out of the drivers seat. DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR. Sit where you can reach the wheel. You will need to. Often. New drivers crash cars without constant supervision. It's just the nature of the job!! ;) (Even with supervision, the cars get smushed.)

 

But you have to get him into the place of process-ownership early. (Outcome-ownership is NOT the only variable here.) The ramp that you see coming is a REAL ramp. But he doesn't see it. And he needs to.

 

Kids are tougher than you think. He'll be fine. But don't shelter him from this process for too long. He needs to feel the incline of the ramp, and he can't do that if he isn't holding the wheel and applying pressure to the gas pedal himself. :001_smile:

 

PEACE!

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

[Teachin'Mine]

Because you asked for advice.....

You should not be making this hourly schedule. He should. Yes, even in 9th grade. You can sit next to him. You can help. But he should be driving. (I KNOW it's HARD to do! Really hard!) It seems stressful, and often we mommas feel the stress of the clock and want to save our kids from it. I would not recommend that course of action. :001_smile: If this is what he wants, then he should be struggling with the clock, not you.

 

Otherwise you rob him. When the whole things spins successfully forward, you will feel the sense of accomplishment - not him. (And he will need that feeling for later; memory of past success is what drives them forward when things get tough.) And when he grows weary, he will lean on you for that gritty determination to persevere - when he should be leaning on his internal goals.

 

At this age it is INCREDIBLY hard to hand the wheel to the child. But you have to get out of the drivers seat. DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR. Sit where you can reach the wheel. You will need to. Often. New drivers crash cars without constant supervision. It's just the nature of the job!! ;) (Even with supervision, the cars get smushed.)

 

But you have to get him into the place of process-ownership early. (Outcome-ownership is NOT the only variable here.) The ramp that you see coming is a REAL ramp. But he doesn't see it. And he needs to.

 

Kids are tougher than you think. He'll be fine. But don't shelter him from this process for too long. He needs to feel the incline of the ramp, and he can't do that if he isn't holding the wheel and applying pressure to the gas pedal himself. :001_smile:

 

PEACE!

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

 

Great post!!! I needed to hear that too. :tongue_smilie:

[at the beach]

Because you asked for advice.....

You should not be making this hourly schedule. He should. Yes, even in 9th grade. You can sit next to him. You can help. But he should be driving. (I KNOW it's HARD to do! Really hard!) It seems stressful, and often we mommas feel the stress of the clock and want to save our kids from it. I would not recommend that course of action. :001_smile: If this is what he wants, then he should be struggling with the clock, not you.

 

Otherwise you rob him. When the whole things spins successfully forward, you will feel the sense of accomplishment - not him. (And he will need that feeling for later; memory of past success is what drives them forward when things get tough.) And when he grows weary, he will lean on you for that gritty determination to persevere - when he should be leaning on his internal goals.

 

At this age it is INCREDIBLY hard to hand the wheel to the child. But you have to get out of the drivers seat. DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR. Sit where you can reach the wheel. You will need to. Often. New drivers crash cars without constant supervision. It's just the nature of the job!! ;) (Even with supervision, the cars get smushed.)

 

But you have to get him into the place of process-ownership early. (Outcome-ownership is NOT the only variable here.) The ramp that you see coming is a REAL ramp. But he doesn't see it. And he needs to.

 

Kids are tougher than you think. He'll be fine. But don't shelter him from this process for too long. He needs to feel the incline of the ramp, and he can't do that if he isn't holding the wheel and applying pressure to the gas pedal himself. :001_smile:

 

PEACE!

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

 

But I thought Trilliums was suggesting that her son said he did not want to add more or do things to this extent. I thought she was expressing that he was potentially suffering from anxiety and that she was the one wanting to add more and more to his already heavy plate, not him. Trilliums said her son didn't want to do debate and she wondered if she should put it on hold. To this, I would say, yes, absolutely, put it on hold until he expresses an interest in it. I would concur with what others have said that he seems over- scheduled and that he may very well be suffering anxiety, which should be addressed by lightening up his schedule--with his input, of course. I think streamlining history/lit is a great idea.

 

I agree with you, Janice, that kids do need to take ownership of what they want to do, especially at the high school level and that we need to be there to help and guide. The way I'm reading OP's comments, it seems that her son feels pressure from all that Mom wants him to do and also feels pressure from the tight schedule he has (a schedule that is required if he is to manage to do all that mom wants him to do). Has OP's son expressed interest in adding logic to his load? Does he want to do history/lit the way they have been? The schedule listed had a 15-minute lunch break. Even in the car, he listens to lectures or does homework. That is really tight IMO. The entire day has really no down time. Kids in school have a lot of down time--breaks between classes, chit-chatting in class--kids in school are not on task all the time. Kids in school are also put on a schedule by the school.

 

What I think would be good for OP's son is to have more free time that he can manage on his own, and it also looks like he might not object to that. Trilliums, have you considered saying to your son: "You don't have to do all this to this level to look good to colleges. There might be a less stressful way to show them who you are and stand out." Give him permission to get off the hamster wheel and see what he thinks. A lot of what we think as parents can rub off on our kids. If a parent thinks and projects that this is what it takes to go to a good college, the kid will think that, too.

 

Also, I'll suggest a book to you, Trilliums: How to be a High School Superstar by Cal Newport. Strong focus on the importance of having free time as a teen and identifying what areas it makes to spend time on and what areas to cut back on. And still look good to colleges. Well worth the $ to buy this book.

Edited December 31, 2011 by Violet

[Janice in NJ]

There are a bunch of good books out there. Cal's book is upstairs in a pile among others. I ordered them from the library. (I did handle that step for her.) ;) But my daughter will be choosing which ones she would like to read from the pile over the semester break between her dual-enrollment classes. I am happy to read the one she picks along with her, and I am open for discussion. But she picks. And she reads.

 

Just encouraging the OP that pre-digesting this stuff for busy kids isn't always the best route.

 

We feel something.

We start to develop a comfort level for this college-admissions process.

That's good.

 

But the kid needs that process too. :001_smile:

 

Peace,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

[at the beach]

There are a bunch of good books out there. Cal's book is upstairs in a pile among others. I ordered them from the library. (I did handle that step for her.) ;) But my daughter will be choosing which ones she would like to read from the pile over the semester break between her dual-enrollment classes. I am happy to read the one she picks along with her, and I am open for discussion. But she picks. And she reads.

 

Just encouraging the OP that pre-digesting this stuff for busy kids isn't always the best route.

 

We feel something.

We start to develop a comfort level for this college-admissions process.

That's good.

 

But the kid needs that process too. :001_smile:

 

Peace,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey

 

I certainly agree the kid needs that process, but I think that the OP is not about a kid not engaging in the process but about a parent who is potentially pushing her kid--her original question was about whether she was pushing, right? And we are in the position of guidance counselor. Who else is there for our homeschool kid? This is why, at the high school level, I'm not always certain that staying home IS the best course of action. I have a kid who wants to stay home, though, so here we are.:tongue_smilie:

 

I suggested this particular book to Trilliums because I think it might do HER good to see that she doesn't have to think her kid needs to do everything to be a successful homeschooler. And obviously, if he's interested, he can read it. If not, then not.

 

I think we are on the same page, Janice. What I'm saying is that as a homeschool parent, we can often be too close to the whole process and get overly worried about our kids being successful homeschool graduates and we think it takes this, that, and the other to prove that we've done our job. And when we make our kids do this or we project our beliefs onto our kids, they also think they need to do all these things. To their detriment.

[Janice in NJ]

Wise words, Violet!

 

Yes, I think we are reading from the same page. :001_smile: It is so difficult to help kids find their way without finding it for them. I have no doubt that this momma is looking for balance; I suspect she will find it.

 

Peace,

Janice

Edited December 31, 2011 by Janice in NJ

[Trilliums]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments. We definitely appreciate access to guidance counselors. :001_smile::001_smile:

 

My main question is whether or not he is taking on too much. I posted in an hourly format to give the most accurate representation of the amount of time he spends on each subject -- and doing that was actually very helpful. To to see everything broken down into time slots made me realize how tight his days look!

 

Also, I wanted to get an idea for how his schedule compares to other high schoolers. Reading sig lines it often looks as though kids are doing soo much and I am at a loss to figure out how one fits it all in the day.

 

My kids are engaged in their education, so that is not a direct concern for now. I don't micro manage their activities (although maybe it seems that way from the limited amount I posted). We are transitioning to a more traditional schooling experience after unschooling. This was a decision jointly made and I see myself as one of the many resources they use in their educational path. :) On a daily basis I do not move them from one subject to the next, collect/grade items or check them off, nor do I restrict their non-school activities based on whether or not such and such was done. But, yes I give them a frame work each week for what should be covered in order for them to stay on track. I agree that the kids should take ownership of their scheduling and I appreciate hearing (reading) that. We will work up to that in baby steps as we are all still adjusting to it and learning how to schedule for a high school load. For now, seeing this kind of scheduling (even as loose as it is) modeled by me will hopefully help them transition into doing it themselves.

 

About the Debate club, DS is interested in participating, but he is concerned that he already has too much going on to devote time to it. This is a matter of prioritization I see, but still frustrating. I feel that as a homeschooler he should be able to have the time to pursue plenty of activities (isn't that one of the benefits of hsing afterall?) but here we find he simply does not have enough time to try out the various activities in which he is interested and still cover the basics (LA, math, SS, language, PE & science). He has those basics plus one additional class-principles of eng. But, he has no fine arts and still it is a full week.

 

We often discuss educational options. They need to be vested in whatever educational path they take as I just am not into cajoling or forcign them into school work. We turned to TWTM after meeting a family with high schoolers who followed the recommendations. The kids and I discussed it as one of many options. I'd be happy to have them continue on an unschooling route as they were always active and engaged in learning no matter what. We find, however, that as their interests become more technical, finding at home & community opportunities is more difficult. And, DS #1 in particular, I believe would thrive in a selective technical school as he has struggled with feeling like an odd man out for pondering event horizons and time travel with a probing intensity rarely encountered among other kids we have met. So we get to this point where we wonder.... what path to take now to help him realize his plans. We talk about the known routes and the unknown routes and make the decisions as best as we can. :)

So grateful to have a place to ponder over these things.:grouphug: