Living kidney donation -- Help, please! (My sis is considering...)

[Stacia]

So, I just found out that my sister is a very likely match to be a kidney donor for a stranger. She did the initial test sort-of as a fluke, I guess, thinking the likelihood of matching would be small. But, match she did & she's continued to pass hurdle through hurdle... and now it's looking pretty likely that she will get the green light (almost certain at this point).

 

It's noble, and generous, and all those other things.

 

It's also incredibly scary. Surgery is never a 'for-sure' type of scenario, kwim?

 

This is definitely one of those things of being blindsided (for me, and our parents, even her dh). None of us heard about it prior to this week.

 

Anyway, I know it's a long shot, but has anyone here had experience with this -- either as a donor or as a recipient (or a family member or friend who has gone through this)? What types of things/questions should she be asking? (She's asked a lot of the normal questions, but is there anything that maybe she might not think to ask?) She's meeting w/ the dr. team on Monday (surgeons, etc...) & potentially her dh &/or my parents (and maybe me) will get to be in a few of the meetings, so we can get our questions answered too.

 

I guess this is just a general plea for help, ideas, and input. And, also, a plea for good wishes & wise decision-making on the part of my sister.

 

I'm proud and I'm freaking out too -- she's my little sis (and only sibling).

 

Thanks.

[beansprouts]

No experience, here.

 

Just - Wow!

 

I think your sister is an incredible woman.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My friend's dad donated a kidney to someone he met in a business meeting. He told us that the doctors were so careful to make sure that he would not be put into any danger. He had more rigorous health screenings than he'd ever had in his life! Of course, if his remaining kidney were to fail, he would not have a back-up but often if you have kidney disease or something of that sort it is both kidneys that are affected anyway. And yes, any kind of surgery can be potentially life-threatening but surgery is also more safe now than it has been in times past - even transplant surgeries. (At least your sister would not have the dangers that the recipient will have - that of rejection. My nephew is a heart transplant recipient and has to take anti-rejection drugs for the rest of his life. He has to be tested for possible rejection every 3 months for the rest of his life too. Of course in his case, someone had to die in order for him to be able to continue to live. We are so grateful for the selfless generosity of the donor family.)

 

My dh is a nurse manager at a dialysis center. People with kidney disease have to spend 3 days a week - 4 hours at a time - hooked up to a machine. And often after a period of time, the treatment becomes less and less successful. I think that donating a kidney is a wonderful thing to do and that you should be praising your sister as a hero. She is saving a life.

[TXMomof4]

I don't have any personal family experience, but a friend of ours had to have a bone marrow transplant last december. We don't know the donor, he doesn't want to be known, but I really hold him in such high regard....I wish I could know him. The amount of courage and heart it takes to willingly give a part of your body to a stranger, all I can say is wow. I hold that kind of sacrifice right up there with the soldiers who give their lives to save their friends.

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

 

I understand she's not laying down her life, but it's a risk. For a stranger.

 

This is obviously something I feel very strongly about. :001_smile:

[Emmy]

I have a friend that donated a kidney to her SIL last summer. They really do make *sure* medically that it's safe for the donor. The recovery was significant though - I think it took far longer than she anticipated to be able to function day to day. It is an incredibly noble thing to do, particularly for a stranger.

[OhM]

Jean and Emmy have made good points.

 

My friend rec'd a kidney from her sister. It was (relatively) safe for the donor, but the recovery was, as Emmy said, significant.

[bkpan]

The lives touched by someone making this sort of sacrifice usually goes far beyond what we imagine. Not just the blessing that the recipient (and your ds!) will receive, but all the people that know them and strangers that we couldn't begin to imagine. I "watched" a married couple go through this (wife was able to donate her kidney to her husband). It was a very long and meticulous process and I'm sure there are just countless lives touched by their story. It has been a beautiful experience for them.

 

Kim

[Stacia]

My dh is a nurse manager at a dialysis center. People with kidney disease have to spend 3 days a week - 4 hours at a time - hooked up to a machine. And often after a period of time, the treatment becomes less and less successful. I think that donating a kidney is a wonderful thing to do and that you should be praising your sister as a hero. She is saving a life.

 

That's actually one of the things that surprises me. Our grandmother died from kidney disease & was on dialysis for a few years before she died. I know it's a hard, traumatic thing for folks to go through multiple times a week. I saw my grandmother first hand going through all of it. In a way, I would have thought that (family history) might make her not necessarily a great donor, but it doesn't seem to be a factor. (?)

 

And, everyone, thanks for your kind & encouraging words. I so appreciate it. I know it's not my decision & I will love & support her in whatever she does, but I must admit that the thought of it still freaks me out a bit (even though I find it completely admirable and amazing). I will pass on to her about the recovery time being awhile (she was told 6-8 weeks). She's an active person who is not the relaxing type, kwim? But, hopefully, she can honor that & give herself the chance to heal well.