If/when to homeschool (longish)

[mommymonster]

Hi, this is a first-time post to the Hive, but have been lurking for a while.

 

As background, I have two sons, Big A (just turned 6) and Little B (2 and ONE HALF!). Big A is a somewhat outgoing, intense, bright kid who started kindergarten in the fall. He has been reading for a while, is obsessed with science and history, and like most boys, has more energy than I can hope to burn off in a day. He did two years of preschool, as the preschool was awesome and we used it as daycare as much as for learning. He *LOVED* preschool, so we thought that kindergarten at a public school (our local school is excellent) was going to be easy, and a "no brainer." Since he's been reading and is pretty advanced (whether by age or ability, whatever), we do science and history before school (it's a half-day kindergarten).

 

Big A has indicated, repeatedly, and at the top of his lungs that he hates school. The kids don't pay attention, they aren't learning anything, the room is too full (there are 28 kids in his class)... He has asked me to me his teacher repeatedly. Now we're getting to the point where he's trying to miss the bus in hopes of not having to go to school.

 

I've thought about homeschooling the boys quite a bit, but sort of dismissed it as not being practical at this point in our lives (my youngest was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He also has feeding issues, and is going through *weekly* chemotherapy for about one more year). I just didn't want any more "crazy" in my life for now.

 

At this point, though, I'm wondering if we should just pull the proverbial trigger and homeschool starting at the Christmas break? Or maybe next fall? I'm concerned that by taking him out of school that we're making him give up a potential refuge when the brain tumor nightmare rears up. Also, I'm concerned that I don't have enough bandwidth to make a good effort at schooling. Also, I'm concerned I'll be homeschooling forever... I would like to go back to work eventually. Which is a little self-involved, but I'm trying to keep it real.

 

As a second question, if we do go with homeschooling, how do I effectuate the transition without Big A thinking he somehow "won" or "got out" of going to school? Does that make sense? I don't want him to think that every time he throws a fit for long enough, he'll get his way. :glare:

[Desert Rat]

Foremost, I'm so sorry to hear about your son's cancer! I hope his recovery is quick.

About homeschooling, I've heard that many people have a span of time to deprogram their public schooled kids. It's usually a few weeks to decompress and learn a new routine.

The timing is up to you. I see pros and cons of not sending him back to school after winter break. The pros is that you won't have the daily rants and fights. He'll start to learn again and your schedule is more flexible when you need to be with your youngest.

The cons are that he really would be around a lot of the cancer stuff and may start feeling "neglected" (not really the word I'm going for but, for lack of a better one, it'll do.) There are a few members here who are homeschooling while dealing with catastrophic illnesses. Maybe they will be able to answer your questions better.

I would handle the transition nonchallantly, just explaining why we're switching to homeschool and I would mention it at a time when he isn't complaining or asking to be brought home.

Homeschooling is a big commitment. I've decided to take it year by year and reevaluate as we go, but I'll be homeschooling until high school if not through. I also work part time. It can be done.

Hope this helps.

[PeterPan]

The things you do with your older would enrich your toddler and be enjoyable to him as well, so it seems like a win-win. You just need to consult the laws of your state about pulling out. You don't need bandwidth to homeschool, just a library card. 5/6 is a mighty fun age to teach btw. :)

[jennsmile]

:grouphug:

 

At 6 you really can be very laid back in school. Lots of reading, a little math and lots of fun. Especially if you have other things on your plate. One thing I loved about homeschooling as a teen was the time spent with my brothers. I treasure that so much as I lost one 4 years ago very suddenly.

 

I would look at it as a time for big brother to spend with his little brother and the flexibilty it lends. When little one is having a good day take some field trips and make memories. Perhaps if you will spend lots of time in waiting rooms/hospitals invest in an ipad/nook/fire or other tablet for ds 6 to use for some school on the go.

 

I would also look for a friend/neighbor/church member that could be a safe zone for 6 yo to go if needed for a day or something as a back up. I have my mom close and she is my saving grace to the ability to spoil my kids while I get a break or have a sick one.

[Aubrey]

At this point, though, I'm wondering if we should just pull the proverbial trigger and homeschool starting at the Christmas break? Or maybe next fall? I'm concerned that by taking him out of school that we're making him give up a potential refuge when the brain tumor nightmare rears up. Also, I'm concerned that I don't have enough bandwidth to make a good effort at schooling. Also, I'm concerned I'll be homeschooling forever... I would like to go back to work eventually. Which is a little self-involved, but I'm trying to keep it real.

 

As a second question, if we do go with homeschooling, how do I effectuate the transition without Big A thinking he somehow "won" or "got out" of going to school? Does that make sense? I don't want him to think that every time he throws a fit for long enough, he'll get his way. :glare:

 

If not for the cancer, I'd say, yes, hs now. With that added element, *I* still think it's a good idea, but I don't have experience with that, & I don't want to burden you w/ my ignorant pov, if that makes sense.

 

As far as ps as a potential refuge--it doesn't sound like it IS that to him now, so it likely wouldn't be in the case of darker days. Is there somewhere/one else who could be that for him?

 

What kind of work do you do? That makes a difference wrt hs'ing forever or not. Still, though, I wouldn't skip what's best for today for what might be best for tomorrow.

 

The last part is what I really wanted to address. If you decide to hs your ds, he's not going to think he "won" or that throwing a fit will get him his way. He'll think he's got a mother who listens. His way of communicating will mature, but that's a separate issue.

 

:grouphug: I hope you find the right solution for your family.

[Mommyof4ks]

:grouphug: So sorry to hear about your son's cancer.

 

My youngest son was dxed with leukemia as a toddler, and my dd who was 6 weeks shy of 7 at the time did not want to leave his side. We were already homeschooling, so she was able to stay with us at the doctor and the hospital. During long hospital stays we would leave her with friends, and she could not focus on school work. She could do it well at the hospital though. I don't know what Big A is feeling, but I just thought I would throw that out there as a possible reason for the sudden change. Maybe the child life specialist at the clinic could talk with your son and see if she can help figure out if that is playing a role.

 

As for homeschooling in kindy, that is the most fun year IMO! Lots of field trips, crafts, and sibling bonding time.

[mommymonster]

I just wanted to thank you all for your perspectives. We have decided to take him out at the holiday break, and are just going to "play it all by ear" -- somewhat of a stretch for me as a lawyer. In any case, hopefully it will reduce the tension in the house and give the boys time to play together.

 

For now, I'm having fun picking curriculum and day dreaming about shaping young minds... Surely reality will set in soon enough! :-)