AlmiraGulch Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 I am divorced but engaged. I have 2 children, 15 and 8. I have a generous amount of life insurance. Currently my children are equal beneficiaries, but I have no trust set up to manage the money in the case of my death, which of course is problematic since my children are both minors. I realize I need to do something about this and I don't know who to trust as executor, but that's a topic for another post. If I die, my children will obviously be with their father. Their father cannot support them financially (he can barely support himself and lives in my home). I do not trust him to manage the money because he's simply not trustworthy or responsible. However, the fact is that I want my kids to have a decent place to live and clothes on their back, so I'm thinking I need some sort of provision that will continue to pay the mortgage for this house or another place of residence so the three of them can live there. (He will be moving out in the next few months, but he can only afford to rent a room somewhere). On the other hand, I'll have a husband soon and, as my spouse, he should be entitled to some financial compensation in the case of my death also. I am and will be the primary earner in the family. I have no idea how to divide the money between my children and my future husband, and what to do about this house. I also don't know if I should continue to leave equal amounts to each of my children, since the eldest will be a minor for fewer years than the youngest. What would you do (besides consulting a probate attorney, of course, which I need to do soon)? I'm interested to know what those who have children and have remarried have handled this type of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 What you should do is consult an estate attorney in your state. ;) Each state has its own, erm, probate law quirks and you don't want your heirs/estate to be unpleasantly surprised by little known statues in the probate law. My poor dh and his siblings are going through this right now. My fil passed away in March and his estate is just now *finally* being settled. There have been so many twists and turns because the state of Alabama has some of the most backward probate laws I've ever heard of. Suffice to say consult an estate attorney sooner rather than later. The executor of your will/trust does not have to be the person with whom your kids would live/their guardian. Pick someone who is very trustworthy to manage the trust. Your soon to be spouse will already be entitled to SS survivor's benefits. The best advice anyone can give is to get the name of a good estate attorney in your area - one experienced with trusts (which I heartily recommend that *everyone* utilize, especially if you have kids) - and have this person walk you through all your options. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 What you should do is consult an estate attorney in your state. ;) Each state has its own, erm, probate law quirks and you don't want your heirs/estate to be unpleasantly surprised by little known statues in the probate law. My poor dh and his siblings are going through this right now. My fil passed away in March and his estate is just now *finally* being settled. There have been so many twists and turns because the state of Alabama has some of the most backward probate laws I've ever heard of. Suffice to say consult an estate attorney sooner rather than later. The executor of your will/trust does not have to be the person with whom your kids would live/their guardian. Pick someone who is very trustworthy to manage the trust. Your soon to be spouse will already be entitled to SS survivor's benefits. The best advice anyone can give is to get the name of a good estate attorney in your area - one experienced with trusts (which I heartily recommend that *everyone* utilize, especially if you have kids) - and have this person walk you through all your options. Gaah! That's what I meant...Estate attorney, not probate (I'm not dead yet!). Very sound advice! I hadn't even considered SS benefits for my husband, so that definitely plays into my decision of how to divide my assets. Luckily I have several friends who are lawyers who I trust to refer me to a good resource. Maybe I'll ask one of them to be the executor just to take family out of it entirely. This would be so much easier if there were no divorce/remarriage involved. Yet another reason divorce sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 QValencia, You must live near me because DS participated in HEARTS last year! We just had our wills redone this summer. I have the name of a great estate attorney that is near us if you need a recommendation. He was the one who really helped us decide where our money should be allocated. (We have a very - um- unusual family dynamic.) An estate attorney really knows the ins and outs of the financial decisions that need to be made. Going in, we thought we knew what was best and it turned out we were completely WRONG. We were also told that a will should be redone every five years because things change soooo much. Let me know if you need that recommendation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acurtis75 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 You should not list minor children as the beneficiary on life insurance. Expecially, if you have an ex who you don't want to get the money. Listing children as the beneficiary is essentially the same as listing as listing your ex. Also, listing minor children delays the distribution of the money. Basically, depending on your state you have to wait until a guardian is officially assigned by the court. If you have a person in your life you trust (relative, friend, etc) to handle the money just list them as the beneficiary on the insurance. Insurance is a contract and can be handled outside the estate process. It's a good idea to have a will for the distrubution of other property but it's not necessary for life insurance IF you have a trusted adult you can designate as beneficiary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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