KristinaBreece Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 CALIFORNIA The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor. 1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what coyotes naturally do. 2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $500 for testing it for diseases and $1,500 for relocating it. 3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $1,200 for testing it for diseases. 4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 of state funds on getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged. 5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Wildlife conducts a $150,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. 6. The Governor spends $250,000 in state funds to implement a Coyote Awareness Program for residents of the area. 7. The State Legislature spends $1 million on a study of how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. 8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent, including additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes. 9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State. TEXAS The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog. 1. The Governor has recently spent $0.50 of his own money on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. 2. The buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that, folks, is why California is broke and Texas is not. Soooo... did you laugh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 It was hard not to see it coming but I did smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Saw it coming and still thought it was hilarious but I love predictability! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beccad777 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I have read this before, and still thought it was funny! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristineW Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I'd still rather live in SF rather than anywhere in Texas. Just saying:lol::lol::lol: Its in the upper 60s right now with a soft drizzle. Probably snowing in the Sierras. I think I might even prefer Moonbeam to the other guy. Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsidian Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :lol::lol::lol: However, I think I would much prefer California weather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 I laughed. I just returned from town, buying pistol ammo to... (wait for it) shoot coyotes! Love it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I didn't laugh because I'm feverish, but it did make me smile. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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