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What to do with my 8yo?


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I am really not sure what to do with him.

 

He cannot do anything on his own and his schoolwork takes about 45 minutes total (working with me.) Before anyone has a fit about how little he does, he has disabilities that keep him from doing anything on his own. He has been evaluated extensively, receives speech and occupational therapy, and is somewhat stuck where he is for awhile. Most of the programs for auditory processing and/or working memory are beyond his abilities.

 

Having said that, I need things for him to do. He spends all morning annoying everyone! He cannot watch Letter Factory or anything else because we have one TV and it is in the middle of the house. He cannot play on the computer independently. He can't do *anything* quietly, but the rest of them need him to be quiet.

 

Earlier I sent him to get the big trash can from the road and wash it. He did that fine, but then ended up soaking his 5yo sister with the hose. Did I mention that he has almost NO impulse control due to the working memory issues? He doesn't want to be alone (he's very extroverted.) He plays with the 5 and 2 yo's, but he ends up annoying them more than anything (and then they scream/cry.)

 

We tried a couple of different stimulants (for the working memory), but stopped because he didn't like the way they made him feel. The only real benefit was that he didn't bug the daylights out of everyone, but I don't think that is a good reason to medicate a child. There weren't any other really apparent benefits.

 

I need things for him to do. I'd like to do a list of work he can do (physical labor) or activities he can do (preferable alone.) A little while ago I was seriously upset with myself for not sending him to school this morning (first day here.) However, I don't think it is the answer because I do believe that school would be detrimental to him.

 

HELP!!!!!

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What about some art projects that have a picture accompanying each step. We have a clay book that breaks things down into each step and that has been something that I can set my ds up with on his own. Some of those klutz books, especially the tape one and the pop bead critters one have been big hits here. I find more close ended tasks that have a clear series of steps keep him on track much better then more open ended activities.

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Does he like listening to stories?

 

My 8yo DS loves listening to the stories on http://storynory.com/. They're free audio stories for kids and the people who read them do a fantastic job and make it very entertaining (I even enjoy listening in ;)). My DS especially enjoyed some of the classics on this site. Maybe give your DS some manipulatives (pipe cleaners, etc.) to keep his hands busy while he listens. The stories on this site are fairly long, so that could easily keep him entertained for half an hour or more at a time if he gets into it...

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Does he like listening to stories?

 

My 8yo DS loves listening to the stories on http://storynory.com/. They're free audio stories for kids and the people who read them do a fantastic job and make it very entertaining (I even enjoy listening in ;)). My DS especially enjoyed some of the classics on this site. Maybe give your DS some manipulatives (pipe cleaners, etc.) to keep his hands busy while he listens. The stories on this site are fairly long, so that could easily keep him entertained for half an hour or more at a time if he gets into it...

 

Unfortunately, his CAPD keeps him from listening to most audiobooks, especially any that are more "dramatized". He can listen to me, but I don't speak as fast as the audiobooks when I read to him.

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Give him "assignments" that involve:

 

Legos (build 3 different kinds of houses/airplanes/boats)

puzzles (Geopuzzles are excellent)

Light Brite (great for building concentration and hand eye coordination)

coloring books/craft projects

sidewalk chalk

an exercise routine (20 jumping jacks, run in place for 5 minutes, 10 push ups....) Call this P.E. :D

 

A chore list:

sort/organize toys

make his bed

vacuum

dust

wash windows

empty dishwasher

put laundry away

pull weeds

rake leaves

sweep front stoop/steps/deck

 

If you split his time between a few fun "assignments" and a couple chores, that might keep him a bit busy.

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I sooooo understand. He sounds just like my 10 yo, although now that she's reading, she can finally do some subjects independently. Does he like to play games? My dd loves games and is constantly begging for someone to play a game with her. If your ds likes games, add games to his school schedule and assign the older kids play with him as part of their school day.

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I know your son has disabilities, but does he have something that he gets consistent good feedback from that reinforces his positive aspects? You said he was annoying, so it is possible that he's also bored? Perhaps if he had something like chickens to tend or another hobby he would have some mental distraction and enable you to get more done. What about whittling some wooden sticks? Can you trust him with a screwdriver and hammer to take things apart? I don't have kids with disabilities, but I do have three boys. They are regularly annoying, and I have to find things like the aforementioned for them to keep them happy and me somewhat sane.

 

I learned long ago that boys are different creatures with different gifts from God. It takes a special breed of people to be able to tame wilderness, build roads, work horses, etc. Some guys weren't meant to sit at desk, talk early, or read as well as others. But even with limitations there is always a strength. I know that for my boys I'm not going to require college if they can't hack it. Apprenticeship with a plummer, lawn-mowing business, and other working with your hands type things are very much legitimate lines of work. I know I'm going on, but I just wanted to encourage you with your boy, even though he has trials. I think you're doing the right thing in keeping him home and dealing with the issue instead of sending him to school at this point(even though it is tempting). I'll pray that your efforts do not go unrewarded!

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Can you ask his ot or slp to find some "homework activities" that he can do without your constant supervision?

 

One thing my ds used to do as part of his school day was build alphabet letters out of clay. I got the idea from Davis' book on dyslexia. My ds would create clay letters using a lower case alphabet strip as a guide. When he was done, I'd check it. If he reversed a letter, I'd ask him to check for errors and when he found it, he just needed to flip it around correctly. I'd check on his progress, but I could also work with my other children while he had some school work to do that occupied him for a while without needing me constantly.

 

Around that same time we also did "The Listening Program". Honestly, I really don't know if it helped him much at all, (he couldn't pass the Barton screen the next year) but his slp recommended it to us for auditory processing/phonemic awareness problems. He'd just sit and listen to the music cd. The slp suggest we could do two sessions in one sitting, so that kept him occupied for more time. I could work with my other children without interuption while he was listening to those cds.

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These are some great ideas, ladies! I am going to add in some of these ideas this next week and see if we can't keep his annoying people to a minimum.

 

To the poster who mentioned something he was good at - he is very good at music. Unfortunately, our house is too small for him to practice him violin while we do schoolwork, or he would do that constantly.:D

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