Upward Journey Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 We live 20 minutes from my parents and attend the same church. We usually see them between services on Sunday, occasionally we go home with them for lunch and to swim. On Wednesdays during the school year we go over to swim/play with the cousins (who live next door) - but neither of my parents are home, and again, occasionally we stay for dinner. I think we get together intentionally about once every 6-8 weeks. Now when we moved back 2 years ago after being away on the other side of the country for 12 years, we got together for pleasure all.the.time., but when it started to become more of a duty thing, I backed off and now I just try and make sure that the kids get to see them regularly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 We live about 15 minutes from my parents, and we see them about once a week. Not always, but if it's been a while, we'll make a point to go see them. It's a pleasure. The in-laws live 10 hours away, but seeing them once a week would be a pleasure also. Walking distance might be a bit much, and I tell the dads all the time that they can never live with me :D. They are both wonderful but a bit too much "old school" regarding gender stereotypes and such, and we would kill each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 I think the key when you live near family is to not let it become a duty. When I moved back to my hometown my mil would have LOVED it if we came every Sunday for dinner. I refused, not because I don't want to go to my mil but because I didn't want it to become EXPECTED that we would be there every Sunday for dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Food4Thought Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 I live about 10 minutes from my in-laws. FIL is pastor of the church where DH is associate pastor. I voted "Weekly - it's a duty" and "Monthly - it's a pleasure." I do enjoy being with them when it's a relaxed affair or when MIL watches the kids so we can have a date night. But I find we're often doing more business than pleasure with church-related discussions, and I don't always look forward to that. So there you go. It would have been all duty, no pleasure five years ago. Since then, we've set good boundaries in the relationship so no one feels neglected (them) or overpowered (us). :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyrical Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 My mother and her husband (my father died many years ago) live about two minutes away. My mother has never been easy to be around. I am thankful for her parenting, because I learned what I didn't want to do with my own children. I see them weekly at my house, for Sunday dinner ... it's a duty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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