how often send mail, text, email . . . college

[Guest Barb B]

OK, next question! How often do you send mail (including packages, but also letters, cards. . .). You know - I know it will be nice for ds to actually have a reason to check his mailbox! But I don't want to seem overbearing. . . and send too many! Boy, this is a transition and a bit difficult for me to figure out what is the right amount of communication. I mean, I have texted several times and told him we will have sunday afternoon phone call (something my mom started with me in college and we still talk on the phone every sunday). But, I am trying to find the right balance of communication.

Barb

[Jane in NC]

Obviously this is dependent on the needs of your student--as well as your own desire to hear the kid's voice.

 

I probably send more care packages than most--maybe every other week? We emailed and Skyped more in his first semester than second. By the second he had established a tight group of friends and was very busy with a demanding group project for a 300 level class. When I wanted to talk, I would email and ask him to suggest a day and time. (My sister was appalled that I made an appointment for a chat but I wanted to be respectful of his test schedule, due dates, etc.)

 

When I was in college, these instant gratification technologies were obviously not available. I'm not sure they help our kids make their break. It is a balance: show support but not micromanage.

[readwithem]

My dd's post office is a bit out of the way for her. When we went to the post office to put in a forwarding request for the summer, there was a card I had sent about 2 weeks prior :glare:

 

So I don't send too much snail mail - we Skype with her almost every night (I know, it's a girl thing) and email quite frequently. It might just be her personality - but she doesn't seem to really need to get mail.

[Jane in NC]

My dd's post office is a bit out of the way for her. When we went to the post office to put in a forwarding request for the summer, there was a card I had sent about 2 weeks prior :glare:

 

So I don't send too much snail mail - we Skype with her almost every night (I know, it's a girl thing) and email quite frequently. It might just be her personality - but she doesn't seem to really need to get mail.

 

Hi there--nice to "see" you on the boards!

 

I think our posts may demonstrate the boy vs. girl thing. Or just plain personality thing.

[mamajudy]

I don't send much snail mail...just a package once in a while (1 or 2 per semester). We communicate mostly by email. That way, we can each read our messages when we have the time. Both of my daughters would email papers that they had written for me to critique before they turned them in. That was usually when they first started; the papers were more infrequent as the semester progressed and they gained confidence. Having never been to "school," they were a little nervous about it at first. Usually, we talk on the phone about once a week.

[readwithem]

Hi there--nice to "see" you on the boards!

 

I think our posts may demonstrate the boy vs. girl thing. Or just plain personality thing.

 

I thought the very same thing when I read your post (on both counts - nice to see YOU my dear friend, and YES on the boy vs. girl thing - or definitely personality thing!!)

 

I haven't been here in a long time - not sure why - probably because I'm really feeling retired from homeschooling :)

 

How was your summer? College girl did SAT prep with some of the "grads" of the inner city school where I tutor during the year - some may be "within range" of National Achievement (they'll be juniors this year) so that is VERY exciting. :)

[Gwen in VA]

Boy versus girl thing --

 

My dd calls home about every other day. Occasionally but very rarely she calls every third; more often she slips in a quickie phone call during the day in addition to the every other pattern.

 

My ds does not call home. Period. He is good about calling when we email him and request a phone call, which we do about once a week. Since his phone is usually in the land of the lost and his college forbids Skype being automatically on, we can't call him, so we are thankful he is good about responding to requests!

 

The kicker -- Dd and ds go to the same college, so occasionally I will hear news about ds from dd days before ds tells us!

 

The only thing I snail-mail them is mail that came to the home address and birthday cards. I send about one care package a year -- few enough that they always wonder what motivated me to send it!

[CAMom]

Well, of course I'm an expert! My ds has been gone all of two and a half weeks! ;)

 

I'm trying to let him set the pace. At first, he was texting about once a day. Just short things like, "My writing classroom is a refrigerator." etc. Now he's only texting once every couple of days. If I haven't heard from him by the third day, I'll send a short text saying, "How's your day going?" Or something like that.

 

He came home for the weekend last weekend. I could tell he was really glad to see us. I asked if he was homesick. He said not for home necessarily but that he really misses his family.

 

I'm trying to respect his space but make sure he knows that I miss him and that he can come home any weekend he wants (he's only 45 miles from home).

 

Dd keeps up with him by text, too. They are truly, truly best friends so they are really missing each other.:)

 

He's attending a freshman only summer session right now. When he moves to his permenant dorm, I will likely send one or two care packages a month and keep up with short texts every few days. He's really not a phone or e-mail type kid.

[Karen in CO]

I only send a birthday and a Thanksgiving package. Although I have sent extra packages when he needed things like new shoes for work which he couldn't buy at school. I send about 3 letters a semester. We chat online 2 or 3 times a week. We video chat about once a month. I only call him on the phone if there is a disaster.