pulling daughter out of school

[hmalbumaker]

I was wondering if anyone has advice on pulling your kids out of school?

This is going to be our first year homeschooling. My daughter was in school for the past 2 years (4 if you count preschool), now we decided to homeschool her second grade & hopefully every year after that. I'm really excited about it. My daughter though was very close to her friends from school (none who live in our city) and now that "real school" as she calls it is starting in 2 weeks she's crying a lot about going back to school. I've done my best to meet with other local homeschooling families over the summer and introduce her to as many "friends" as I could, but she still says she doesn't want to homeschool. My heart is breaking for her.

 

 

I know homeschooling is the right decision for us, however, she loved school, LOVED it, there's nothing she didn't like about it. So, how do I make this easier or more exciting for her? I've told her about how exciting it's going to be because homeschool will only take a few hours a day and she can play the rest of the day or we can go on a lot of field trips and she doesn't care. She keeps saying the only people she wants to play with are her friends and they'll all be in school, so she would rather be there with them. We also will not be able to make her first communion with those friends and she's so upset about that. My heart is aching for

her, what can I do to show her that this can be exciting?? I can use any advice you have. Please help!

[NanceXToo]

Hm. My daughter attended public school from K through most of 3rd grade, and she, too, had friends and enjoyed some aspects of public school, but there were aspects she didn't like, as well, and she actually DID want to homeschool. So she was happy to be pulled out toward the end of her third grade year.

 

She did have what I called some "school sickness" though (like homesickness, but not!) where she said that she missed her friends at school. That happened on and off for probably the first few months, but with less and less frequency, and then she just eventually stopped saying it. I did involve her in lots of extra curricular activities, with a homeschool group that did lots of get togethers and field trips and whatnot, and planned a lot of fun things for our homeschool, and she really did enjoy it.

 

In the case of a child who says that they just don't want to homeschool period, I guess the best thing you can do is be kind but firm, tell her something like:

 

I'm sorry that you don't want to do this, but we have decided this is what we are going to do, and we are not going to change our minds. If there are friends you want to keep in touch with, you are welcome to do so, and we know you will also make new friends at (homeschool group, activities, whatever). We have a lot of fun field trips and activities planned and things we know you will like, and I hope that you will help me plan them.

 

Something like that. Then just try to get her as involved as possible in choosing field trips she might want to go on, things she might want to learn about, activities she might like to join and so on.

 

Good luck!

[mschickie]

It took dd about a year or so to really figure out the benefits of hsing. She went to ps for k and we pulled her for 1st grade. We joined a co-op, which she loves, and I just kept reinforcing some of the positives over the year. When we finished our school work before lunch I would mention how all those poor kids a ps still had a few more hours of school but she was lucky she could play or we could go some place. When her freinds in the neighborhood came home from school and had to do homework I would say isn't it nice not having to worry about homework. We did lots of field trips and were able to attend a bunch of plays (children's theater that does school performance that our hs group got tickets for at the school rate). After about a year she started trying to convince her freinds that they should hs too!

 

So my advice, be patient. You know what is best. Kids can not see the long term benefit but you can. She will eventually come around.

[Ellie]

Why can't she make her First Holy Communion with those children?

 

At any rate, you're sort of at the point where you just have to do what you're going to do, instead of looking for ways to make homeschooling exciting. In our home, that included letting dc sleep until they finished sleeping instead of making them get up and get going as they did when older dd was in school. Although we did all get dressed (as opposed to homeschooling in jammies all day), the whole morning process was just relaxed and casual. Lots of goof-off time, or homeschooling in the living room or outside instead of sitting at the table, weekly trips to the library, many field trips.

 

Of course, when we passed schools, especially if the dc were outside playing, I'd say things like, "Oh, the poor children. They have to be away from their mommies all day, bless their hearts." :D Or, "I'm so glad we get to do [insert outside, fun activity] instead of having to be in school." And lots of warm fuzzy mommy-child moments.

[hmalbumaker]

Thanks for the advice ladies. They won't let her make her 1st communion with the class from school because she's not going to be in the religious ed class. I'm going to do all the prep at home. The day of RE is a bad day for us and she already has gymnastics that night. So they said she can pick her own special day and make her communion by herself, which she thinks is an awful idea. :confused:

[Ellie]

Thanks for the advice ladies. They won't let her make her 1st communion with the class from school because she's not going to be in the religious ed class. I'm going to do all the prep at home. The day of RE is a bad day for us and she already has gymnastics that night. So they said she can pick her own special day and make her communion by herself, which she thinks is an awful idea. :confused:

:001_huh:

What does your pastor say? Are there not other children at you parish who are preparing for First Communion?? Or is the school connected to your church? Or what?

 

I'm still a baby Catholic, so this is just making me :confused:. At my parish, which is a large one, children make their First Communion there, although I suppose there are children who go to the Catholic school (which is not on the grounds of the church) who do it there. It just seems strange to me that the parish itself doesn't do it.

[hmalbumaker]

Yes, the school is connected to the parish. There are only 16 kids in the 2nd grade class at the school (it's a very small school). There really are not a lot of homeschoolers at this parish. I think only 2 others and they both made their first communion last year on their own special days and thought it was wonderful! :(

[Tiramisu]

I was wondering if anyone has advice on pulling your kids out of school?

This is going to be our first year homeschooling. My daughter was in school for the past 2 years (4 if you count preschool), now we decided to homeschool her second grade & hopefully every year after that. I'm really excited about it. My daughter though was very close to her friends from school (none who live in our city) and now that "real school" as she calls it is starting in 2 weeks she's crying a lot about going back to school. I've done my best to meet with other local homeschooling families over the summer and introduce her to as many "friends" as I could, but she still says she doesn't want to homeschool. My heart is breaking for her.

 

 

I know homeschooling is the right decision for us, however, she loved school, LOVED it, there's nothing she didn't like about it. So, how do I make this easier or more exciting for her? I've told her about how exciting it's going to be because homeschool will only take a few hours a day and she can play the rest of the day or we can go on a lot of field trips and she doesn't care. She keeps saying the only people she wants to play with are her friends and they'll all be in school, so she would rather be there with them. We also will not be able to make her first communion with those friends and she's so upset about that. My heart is aching for

her, what can I do to show her that this can be exciting?? I can use any advice you have. Please help!

 

I have a dd like this and I have no advice, just understanding. :grouphug:

 

She's the only one of my four who are in ps. When we had to take her and her sister out of a new school in K after two weeks, she was absolutely devastated. She would just cry and cry at night because she felt so stuck, wanting to be in school but also wanting to homeschool. I tried all kinds of activities and nothing helped. She just really missed school.

 

Though we eventually got into a routine, she became very down three years later due to situations out of our control (medical issues, death of a pet, a mean homeschool friend, etc.). Since she would never give up the wish to go to school, I just decided to try it because I felt I had done everything to help her and nothing worked. I had my own struggles wit this, but I've come to terms with the fact that this is what this dd needs at this point in her life. It provides a structure and activity level for her that I can't with the issues we've had to deal with. She is happier when she is kept busy. At the same time, I will always prefer homeschooling, and I wish I could have her at home again.

 

The benefits of homeschooling are priceless, though there are sacrifices. Even with the decisions we made, I am thankful for the time this dd had at home. Hopefully, we laid a foundation that will last, with academics, of course, but more in terms of who she is as a person.

 

My advice is to give it a try and be committed to a good trial, giving your dd time to get used to it, make homeschooling friends, and get involved in worthwhile activities. :grouphug:

[Mrs Twain]

Is there any way to schedule playdates with her school friends? Or invite them to her birthday parties or other special occasions? That way she may not think she will never see them again.

 

I am pulling my daughter out of school to start 1st grade homeschooling. She didn't want to homeschool, either. I organized the year so we will do one lapbook per month (which she LOVES), and I also bought eight American girl craft/activity books which she will do during some of homeschool time. She is a crafty/artist type of girl, so these things have completely turned around her outlook so that she is looking forward to hs. If that didn't work, I would try things such as tell her with hs I can sign her up for multiple art classes (her passion) which I wouldn't be able to do if she went to ps, or perhaps I would do some horseback riding lessons. I don't know if anything like that will help your situation, but bribes have worked well in our house!

[Mrs Twain]

Thanks for the advice ladies. They won't let her make her 1st communion with the class from school because she's not going to be in the religious ed class. I'm going to do all the prep at home. The day of RE is a bad day for us and she already has gymnastics that night. So they said she can pick her own special day and make her communion by herself, which she thinks is an awful idea. :confused:

 

I was just thinking--

Is there any way you can move gymnastics to a different day? Or wait on the gymnastics until the RE class is over? If she could take the RE class with her friends and do communion with them, would that help solve most of the problem?

[She Reads a Lot]

I can't tell from your post if you have moved or not, since you mentioned the friends from school being in a different town. We had to pull my younger son (7) out of ps at Christmas last year b/c it was not working.

 

He misses his friends from school, but his big brother is still at the same school. So what we do is every day when I pick up big brother, I bring along little brother and he stays and plays with all of his school friends. Could you try to do something like this at your daughter's school even one day a week?

 

Also, whenever DS mentions missing the kids at school, I remind him of the things he did NOT like at ps. That always helps him get positive again about HSing. I know you said yoru daughter loved school, but can you think of anything that she didn't like to help her gain some perspective?

 

Hope this helps!

chrisitna

[hmalbumaker]

Thanks again for all of the advice. I will try to let her play with her friends from school as often as possible. I'm not sure if this will make it worse or better honestly, but at this point it's her biggest concern.

 

I like the idea of the American Girl crafts, I didn't realize there was such a thing. I should look into that too. These are a lot of good ideas. I hope I'm posting success in a few months, right now I feel kind of broken. :(

[oraetstudia]

Thanks for the advice ladies. They won't let her make her 1st communion with the class from school because she's not going to be in the religious ed class. I'm going to do all the prep at home. The day of RE is a bad day for us and she already has gymnastics that night. So they said she can pick her own special day and make her communion by herself, which she thinks is an awful idea. :confused:

 

Have you talked to your pastor? I'd write to him and maybe carbon copy the bishop. There is absolutely no sense in saying that kids receiving their prep in different ways cannot have First Holy Communion on the same day and deny children sacraments to which they are duly entitled.

 

The kids at my parish who go to a Catholic school do tend to make their FHC at their school's Mass (there is no school attached to our parish), but the rest of us have the option of sending our kids to RE or preparing them at home in the manner we think best. All the kids, however they were prepared are welcome to make their FHC in the same Mass.

[rocketgirl]

Such a stressful decision! But trust yourself. We took our 4th grader out in the middle of the year - that was major!! But absolutely necessary. But we left our littler ones in. Then we put our littler ones back in again in the Fall. My first grader at that time loved school, she was so good at it academically, socially, in every way (1st grade was her 3rd year there because they had a preschool). I had no doubts at all about her. Then the bullying began the 2nd week of school and we began a roller coaster of bullying, and praying it would get better, that lasted for 4 months!!! So many tears, so much stress, and knowing we should've home schooled her as well. We finally took her out at Christmas break. What I've learned with friend time and extra curricular time is that quality time with quality friends is what's most important.