Jean in Newcastle Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I was thinking about this thread in the shower (where I do my best thinking) and it reminded me of my experience with chronic illness. How many times do you hear someone say "I just have no energy!" or something along those lines. I'm sure if I did a thread asking for the definition of that phrase I would get a similar dichotomy between healthy people who use it to mean that they have less energy than usual vs. those with chronic fatigue issues who mean that they literally cannot get up. So many times someone would say that phrase and I'd mentally shake my head thinking "you have no idea". . . But that's the thing - they don't. And I came to realize that it's ok. Where it isn't ok is when someone doesn't accept your refusal to go out or to buy xyz. Or dismisses you when you give extra clarifying information (which doesn't have to be much - just a simple, "My husband is underemployed and we have no money left this month.") It's like when people would get upset at me because I couldn't go to playdates sometimes because of my fatigue. Even when I explained my chronic illness they wanted me to "get over it". Even my family did this to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 First of all, I want to clarify that I am, in no way, upset with JustaMouse for making that suggestion, it was just a perfect example of the type of situation in which our financial situation would come up in conversation. I was given a gift of $100 that I was hoping would cover the repair. Or, I was hoping that the repair would cost a large sum and we could turn it in to insurance (our homeowners) and it would cover our $100 deductible. Our insurance agent (FIL) has recommended that for $212, we do NOT turn it into insurance, so now I'm stuck. Our financial situation, unfortunately, is chronic. DH just does not make enough to maintain a family of 5. Short of additional income, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. At least not any time soon. DH is a full time student, but is several years away from a degree. I don't know anyone that owns a DSLR that doesn't need it for their own business. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to maintain the quality my clients are used to with anything less than a DSLR. I swear I'm not stuck up or stubborn - trust me, I'm desperate for $$, but I just can't risk my name with something less than the quality I usually produce. (http://www.bellatuphotography.com - if you're curious) What is wrong with my camera? I have no idea! It's giving me an error and won't do ANYTHING. Your photography is spectacular. At least you suffer no deficit of talent. Given that the situation is chronic and not circumstantial, I would do everything possible to earn. I would think outside the box, wrack my brains, try anything legal and morally acceptable to earn. I am not implying that you aren't doing that; I'm just saying I would find a way to get my hands on a working camera and get paying work. Or work as a waitress at night for a few months to buy a camera and get paying work. Or whatever is possible for you. :grouphug: I appreciate that there are no simple answers, but if it's chronic, you rationally know that there is no solution except to bring more dollars into the family on a regular basis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I was thinking about this thread in the shower (where I do my best thinking) and it reminded me of my experience with chronic illness. How many times do you hear someone say "I just have no energy!" or something along those lines. I'm sure if I did a thread asking for the definition of that phrase I would get a similar dichotomy between healthy people who use it to mean that they have less energy than usual vs. those with chronic fatigue issues who mean that they literally cannot get up. So many times someone would say that phrase and I'd mentally shake my head thinking "you have no idea". . . But that's the thing - they don't. And I came to realize that it's ok. Where it isn't ok is when someone doesn't accept your refusal to go out or to buy xyz. Or dismisses you when you give extra clarifying information (which doesn't have to be much - just a simple, "My husband is underemployed and we have no money left this month.") It's like when people would get upset at me because I couldn't go to playdates sometimes because of my fatigue. Even when I explained my chronic illness they wanted me to "get over it". Even my family did this to me. That is a very good example, Jean. Thanks for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Your photography is spectacular. At least you suffer no deficit of talent. Thank you so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I was thinking about this thread in the shower (where I do my best thinking) and it reminded me of my experience with chronic illness. How many times do you hear someone say "I just have no energy!" or something along those lines. I'm sure if I did a thread asking for the definition of that phrase I would get a similar dichotomy between healthy people who use it to mean that they have less energy than usual vs. those with chronic fatigue issues who mean that they literally cannot get up. So many times someone would say that phrase and I'd mentally shake my head thinking "you have no idea". . . But that's the thing - they don't. And I came to realize that it's ok. Where it isn't ok is when someone doesn't accept your refusal to go out or to buy xyz. Or dismisses you when you give extra clarifying information (which doesn't have to be much - just a simple, "My husband is underemployed and we have no money left this month.") It's like when people would get upset at me because I couldn't go to playdates sometimes because of my fatigue. Even when I explained my chronic illness they wanted me to "get over it". Even my family did this to me. Reminds me of the time I complained to two friends that, with my husband's schedule, I was feeling like a single mom. Friend 1? Actual single mom. Friend 2? military wife with deployed husband. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Reminds me of the time I complained to two friends that, with my husband's schedule, I was feeling like a single mom. Friend 1? Actual single mom. Friend 2? military wife with deployed husband. :blushing: :001_smile: I have had this happen. Someone will make a comment about feeling like a single mom to me, and I just give them that "you have no idea" smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 First of all, I want to clarify that I am, in no way, upset with JustaMouse for making that suggestion, it was just a perfect example of the type of situation in which our financial situation would come up in conversation. I was given a gift of $100 that I was hoping would cover the repair. Or, I was hoping that the repair would cost a large sum and we could turn it in to insurance (our homeowners) and it would cover our $100 deductible. Our insurance agent (FIL) has recommended that for $212, we do NOT turn it into insurance, so now I'm stuck. Our financial situation, unfortunately, is chronic. DH just does not make enough to maintain a family of 5. Short of additional income, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. At least not any time soon. DH is a full time student, but is several years away from a degree. I don't know anyone that owns a DSLR that doesn't need it for their own business. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to maintain the quality my clients are used to with anything less than a DSLR. I swear I'm not stuck up or stubborn - trust me, I'm desperate for $$, but I just can't risk my name with something less than the quality I usually produce. (www.bellatuphotography.com - if you're curious) What is wrong with my camera? I have no idea! It's giving me an error and won't do ANYTHING. Your photos are gorgeous - you have a fantastic eye! I'd happily pay for you to take pictures of my family with my own non-DSLR camera. I wish I were in your area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Your photos are gorgeous - you have a fantastic eye! I'd happily pay for you to take pictures of my family with my own non-DSLR camera. I wish I were in your area. thank you!! I'd be happy to do it :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 When I said I had no money it meant I was cashing in the change that I had collected and then going to buy hopefully enough groceries to carry us over for a few days. It meant wearing shoes with holes in the bottom because I could not afford new ones. I spent several years with no money and it is no fun at all. I just kept believing there had to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Your photography is beautiful. Can you get a job working for someone and use their camera? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeanne in MN Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I take issue with people who say they have no money (and you hear it all the time around here), but drive nice vehicles, do updates on their home, take trips, buy the things they want, pay their 21 year old's cell phone bill, etc. I try very hard to not say, "we don't have the money." I may say things like, "I can't justify spending that much on that." and leave it there. We have enough to take care of our needs and I'm grateful for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 (edited) I've noticed over the last year or so that the majority of the people in my life (both online and IRL) have a very different definition of this phrase than I do! I can't tell you how many people have said "we don't either" and then commented about how they were going to have to buy a new washer & dryer (or whatever the item of choice is) because theirs broke. Um...how? When I say we don't have any money, I mean there is literally only a few dollars in the bank (if I'm lucky, sometimes we're even in the red), no savings, no CC to fall back on (it's maxed), no pulling from another area of our budget (there is ZERO wiggle room), etc. We LITERALLY do not have ANY money. That is us all.the.time. So, I'm curious....am I in the minority? Do people just mean they don't have any extra without dipping into savings or credit (which they don't want to do, but will if they have to)? I have noticed the same thing, and we are in the same category as you. Broke means broke. It means we don't have money to cover the bills or to buy food, and even when payday comes, there's not going to be enough. It means we have no savings and no credit cards. It means we can't take a vacation because we can't afford gas to get there, let alone a hotel. It means we can't go out to eat or order pizza or go the fair because that's not in the budget. I really think most people have no idea what this is like, and they can't comprehend it when you say, "We have no money." My SIL is like that. She's a compassionate person, and someone I used to think I could talk to. When she would ask me how things were going, I felt I could be honest with her, but she never understood. If I said, "We have no money," she would always say, "I know! We don't either." By that, she meant, "I have to shop for clothes at JC Penney instead of the specialty boutique" or "We're going to eat fast food instead of a sit-down restaurant each time we eat out this week" while I meant, "EK needs shoes, so I had to scrounge $3 to get a pair at the thrift store" or "If my sister hadn't given us that grocery store gift card, we wouldn't be able to buy food this week." Edited August 9, 2011 by ereks mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I haven't read the replies but when I say "we have no money" it means that we don't have "extra" money to do things outside our budget (and often, we are cutting back in one area to reallocate to another area (aka broken dryer). We may have "no money" because all our extra money is being saved for that new dryer (as was case last year). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterfliesandBooks Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 We have no money means we have no money! It means we are waiting for pay day. We have no savings either so...yep, no money = no money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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