Am I wrong to be hurt? Bridal party question...

[simka2]

This is the crux of it, for me. My other sister and the other bridesmaid are both married, and the other bridesmaid has kids too. But only I need not sit there?

 

Caitlin, I was pretty sure this was what was going on. :grouphug: Even if this doesn't get resolved they way it should, please know that your feelings are very valid!!!! :grouphug:

[5LittleMonkeys]

I am in the process of helping my niece plan her wedding right now and I have to tell you that my advice to her has been,"It's YOUR day, arrange it, plan it however YOU want." She got so worked up over who to cut from the guest list and who to keep (very large families and close friends...venue could only accommodate so many so she had to cut) that she was vomiting. Now we've been discussing seating and, again, she is trying so hard to make every one else happy that she is making herself miserable. I've told her over and over again that anyone who gets their panties in a wad over a decision she makes for HER wedding day needs to stay home.

 

I don't know what the dynamic of your relationship is with your sis; perhaps that is playing into this, but I wonder if you would feel better if you would just tell her that you'd be happy to make whatever accommodations she wants if it will make her wedding day as close to perfect as possible. It's really hard to stay mad when you're making an effort to make someone happy.

[74Heaven]

Originally, she was planning for me and dd AND my niece S all to sit at the HT, and that my mother would sit with dh and my kids to help keep them behaving. I don't see why this is suddenly a better plan.

 

And, yes, my other sister and the other bridesmaid will be up there. So basically, dd and I are not good enough. That is how it feels to me.

 

NB-- I am asking here so that I don't send a "fly off the handle" email response.

 

It looks like she is trying to move Mom up to the HT. That sounds perfect to my sense of propriety. I would def. want Mom to sit at the HT instead of me. I would guess for those of us who are blessed with good moms, we'd all want to do that.

 

If you want to think about it in terms of "good enough"; does it help to see Mom as outranking you? I def. think of my own mother that way. I rather think the Mother of the Bride s/be at the HT. (assuming all is good between mother and bride and family, etc.)

 

Lisaj, mom to 5