threelilbirds Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 DS is going to drive me to the looney bin!! He is constantly whining, for everything from asking for a drink, or a snack, to where he sits at the kitchen table, to how many ice cubes are in his drink, if he has a speck of dirt on his shirt...and it is a crazy all out whining, moaning, crying fest.. He is super sensitive, obviously, a little OCD, very people sensitive, very shy.. FOr example DH took him to panera bread this morning for breakfast with Grandpa. Apparently DS cried the whole way there, didnt want to go, and hid behind DH the whole time, didnt eat, and every time he was addressed, he just moaned and whined..he was fine when he got home. It has been so bad on many occasions that I had one friend ask if he had ever been checked out for autism...but he is only like this in certain situations, and once he is comfortable(to his standards), he is fine.. This type of behavior is very common..not sure how to stop the whining, which is my main concern. The shyness I can live with, lol. But the whining....geeeezzz..any tips?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 My 4yr old likes to put on a whiney voice. I tell her I won't respond until she asks in a nice voice. I had to imitate the difference between the two for her to get it. Now that she understands, I just don't answer when she whines, and she corrects herself. If she did whine about something like ice cubes, I'd probably put her drink in the fridge, and send her to her room until she could come out, be pleasant, and say thank you for the drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 "No whiny voice". Then I model the way I want him to talk/behave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 My dd went through a period of intolerable whining when she was 4. However, she only did it to dh, not me. It really drove him crazy, but he fed into it and it just got worse and worse. Finally, he listened to my advice, :glare:, and began to ignore her completely when she'd whine. As soon as the whining started, he'd walk away, or pick up a book or start playing with one of the other kids. The key was to respond the second she started to use a normal voice. She stopped completely in a few days. Here's a good description. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
threelilbirds Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 Wow, thanks for the good link! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 I would talk to him about the whining during a calm moment and explain that it is difficult to understand what he wants when he whines, that it is distracting to behave that way in public, and that I would like him to talk without whining from now on. Role play a bit. Make it fun and silly. Practice asking him for things and him asking your for things (a high five, a bear hug, one hundred slices of pizza, a lollipop as big as your hand, etc). When he began whining I would remind him one time, gently to remember what we talked about and how to ask without whining. Once. If he continued whining he would be asked to go to his room for a little quiet time until he could ask properly. I'm going through this right now with my youngest. He will be 3 in a few weeks. It is challenging because he is younger, his language skills aren't as strong, and his moods are still ever-changing. I'm not as abrupt with him because of that, but if he insists on whining I do take him to his room for a little rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in Jax Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 At our house, whining is as good as saying, "I need a short nap." If there's no reason for the whininess (i.e. this is not due to illness, anxiety, etc.,) when the child whines, I say, "Oh, honey, that's your whiny voice. Looks like it's time for a nap!" Then I walk the child to his room and say, "Please rest for a bit so you're not whiny." I don't discuss it other than to label the behavior and send/take the child to his bed. (He doesn't have to sleep, but he does have to go to his bed.) If you consistently do this -- every. single. time. he. whines. -- and do not respond in any way other than to lovingly explain that he needs a nap, he'll learn to use a more normal voice. Having said that, you're describing behavior that could be related to anxiety. Does he get whiny only when stressed or leaving the home, or does he whine at pretty much anything? If he's whining all the time, it may be a habit and my suggestion above should work. It he's whining in specific (i.e. stressful) situations, he may be dealing with anxiety of a sort that would benefit from a conversation with your pediatrician. HIH, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatfishes Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 My 4 Y/O is whining alot right now-you have my sympathy.Im fairly certain that here- the cause is an upcoming house move.I've not yet figured out a solution . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Ignore it! They don't get whatever is asked for until they ask nicely. I don't correct etc. I just say nothing. My dd still sometimes does it but I will hear her start to whine and then correct herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.