beansprouts Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I would like to take this question to a fresh start because it is of interest to me. My family and I are launching a second business which will include a website. I have considered including the address to my business website to my signature line when I participate in various forums. This means people with whom I coorespond will have fairly easy access to my contact information. What are the real risks that this could lead to harm for myself and my family? As Pam pointed out what is the likelihood that out of millions of people on the internet *I* would become a target? Is it better not to include the business website on message boards that aren't specifically related to that business? Where the conversation here is often personal and includes information about myself and my children, maybe it would be safer to maintain some anonymity and keep the business information seperate. What are your thoughts on this issue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin in Tx Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 You know, I think about SWB and how on her blog she has pictures of her entire family, and certainly you know the address of their home business from the website... she doesn't seem to be too awful worried about this or she wouldn't post the information... I think the key is if you are polite and don't go around offending people or being contentious or stirring up a lot of trouble, you won't draw attention from the wackos (although I do remember one particular wacko on the boards who tried to cyber-intimidate SWB once, to no avail). When you have a business, I think the need to be out there on the web is really important. I'd set up contact info for the business that is separate from your personal email, and let your husband be the one to read the emails if you start to have a problem. Above all else, don't respond to anyone who contacts you for any reason other than a business inquiry. I think it's part of the package, and that your risk of being stalked is not that great, so I wouldn't worry about it if you take all the precautions... but that's just me. You can't let a few deranged people who have nothing better to do with their time than go around stirring up trouble on the internet prevent you from promoting and building your business. So, I say go for it and good luck! Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 What are your thoughts on this issue? I think it's the equivalent of living a very public life, say, making speeches and attending meetings (where the minutes would be recorded), participating in clubs regularly, being active in community projects, always being out and about, and such like that . . . and then listing your name and address in the phone book and letting folks know your home address. Someone could track down every meeting you attend, and then, go to your home and know who you are. If that freaks you out, don't do it. I was able to hide behind my PayPal account for a long time, with my internet business. PayPal and eBay notify me every time someone looks at my street address and phone number. When I wanted to start a local homeschool nature study group, folks had to be able to mail me their forms. That was the end of my seclusion. I've had no problems. Sure, someone could know an awful lot about us -- what foods we like, what curriculum we use, what brand of diapers I bought for my kid -- and know where we live. I'm not clear on just why that's a problem. In my experience, the people that would use that to hurt you are estranged family or friends, not complete strangers. I do try to remember not to tell ahead of time, on my blog, when we're going to be somewhere. I do this, in truth, because the biological dad of two of our kids could be stalking. He's not allowed within a hundred feet of our home, but out in public it could be "accidental" that he bumped into the kids. Also, I don't want to make it *easy* for some local to know just when to come break in and get our valuables. Also, don't go slipping out your middle names, kids birthdates, or mother's maiden name, where you bank, what credit cards you have, etc., if you use the first category of items in selecting your passwords. I have seen people accidentally link a whole forum right into their store accounts with some websites, so that we could charge up their on-account credit cards if we chose to do so. Watch out for that. And play scenarios out in your head. I was thinking, last night, say someone from the forums Googled my name, found my number, and called me. Which is quite possible. How would I know it was really someone from the forum? I'd have no way of verifying that over the phone. What would they be calling for? "Why do I hear a movie in the background? The schedule on your blog says your kids are supposed to be doing math!" I think that complete transparency is it's own sort of protection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 It all boils down to who you are, what you do, and where you're going in life. People in extremely sensitive jobs/positions make it a point to have no "presence" on the web. No photos, no social-networking sites, nothing beyond monkiers on chat boards. People who rely on the public for their living (speakers, writers, photographers, small business owners etc.) make it a point to have a wide and varied presence on the web. IMO, however, there is always a line: is there ever really a need for someone (a potential client) to know the actual names of one's children? Or their actual nicknames? Probably not. Is a general geographic area probably sufficient? Yes. Is an address always needed? No. A P.O. box will suffice. People (in general) don't connect the dots with their own information the way someone trying to find them would. A person will mention their birth town on one message board, their husband's company on another, their high school somewhere else, and then rave about how something was THE song the year they graduated. Voila. Given a picture, a person with decent internet skills now knows who that person is. Many people don't care. Personally? Oh. Heck. No. I simply don't give out information. asta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 A person will mention their birth town on one message board, their husband's company on another, their high school somewhere else, and then rave about how something was THE song the year they graduated. Voila. Given a picture, a person with decent internet skills now knows who that person is. Asta, I'm not trying to be snippy or anything. I'm earnestly curious. Why does it matter if someone knows these things? What harm could possibly come to you from someone knowing your child's real name? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 For me it is a matter of safety. I have had to change my posting name on another board and don't go by the same posting name on any board. I can't chance it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 For me it is a matter of safety. I have had to change my posting name on another board and don't go by the same posting name on any board. I can't chance it. Why? What will happen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I think it's the equivalent of living a very public life, say, making speeches and attending meetings (where the minutes would be recorded), participating in clubs regularly, being active in community projects, always being out and about, and such like that . . . and then listing your name and address in the phone book and letting folks know your home address. Someone could track down every meeting you attend, and then, go to your home and know who you are. If that freaks you out, don't do it. I tend to think along these lines, too, Rose. Granted, we don't have any unstable ex-spouses or relatives in the picture, and I would likely think differently if we did. And we don't have any family members who are in law enforcement, who are judges, etc. (I have a friend whose dh is an FBI agent, and she never gives out any personal information; in her case, I wouldn't either.) As we stand today, I'm not concerned if someone knows where I live and/or what my phone number is. Truth be told, if someone tried phoning my home, it is unlikely that I would answer anyway. If you want to talk to me, ya gotta leave a message first unless I recognize you on caller ID. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Why? What will happen? I grew up in a Satanic cult and have nothing to do with my family. I don't want them to know anything about my dc. With the internet and the posting I like to do, it would be easy for them to find me or find out something about my dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I grew up in a Satanic cult and have nothing to do with my family. I don't want them to know anything about my dc. With the internet and the posting I like to do, it would be easy for them to find me or find out something about my dc. Oh. Yes, I can see how that would be a bad thing. Thanks for sharing. I'm horribly nosy, aren't I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Oh. Yes, I can see how that would be a bad thing. Thanks for sharing. I'm horribly nosy, aren't I? That's fine. I don't have to answer anything I don't want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I think this is a good question, and simply don't know the answer. I tend to er on the side of caution. I would like to take this question to a fresh start because it is of interest to me. My family and I are launching a second business which will include a website. I have considered including the address to my business website to my signature line when I participate in various forums. This means people with whom I coorespond will have fairly easy access to my contact information. What are the real risks that this could lead to harm for myself and my family? As Pam pointed out what is the likelihood that out of millions of people on the internet *I* would become a target? Is it better not to include the business website on message boards that aren't specifically related to that business? Where the conversation here is often personal and includes information about myself and my children, maybe it would be safer to maintain some anonymity and keep the business information seperate. What are your thoughts on this issue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahwahnee Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 We were trying to update an address list for a party we were throwing, and started to search the Internet for the people. As an example of how much you can find out: 1. Search for one of your friends or yourself on the web. 2. Look up their phone number and search for that. A significant amount of information is available on the web. If you are willing to pay a few dollars you can find out much more from a data service. If you own a home or been to court your county probably has information available about you on the web. I search for my name every sometimes to see where I may have been careless. You can control the personal information you give, and protect your children's identities to some extent. If someone wants to find and bother you they will be able to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 For me it is a matter of safety. I have had to change my posting name on another board and don't go by the same posting name on any board. I can't chance it. While I don't feel I have anything to hide I am somewhat uncomfortable posting potentially identifying details. I know there is a poster here on the boards - or was, that was hunted down and harrassed on another forum. I don't know anymore because I had just joined the old WTM board and the format was very different - evidently it was easier for trolls and people with a different agenda to read our posts then. People referred to this incident when warning others not to be overly informative about their families and lives. I have also been appalled to find out just how much information can be gained from a little research online. We once tried to find an Army buddy of my dh and it was just scary what kind of information is available these days. It's nice on one hand to have a handy tool to find someone but on the other hand it shows you how transparent your life has become. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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