Blamed for your kids special needs because of coddling?

[simplysusan]

My parents use to constantly tell me that my oldest son was fine and that I just spoiled him. They are both special ed teachers, which was really frustrating because they always acted like they knew better. Then my oldest was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, they suddenly hushed up and starting back peddling. They felt really bad because they didn't recognize his learning problems as being caused by a disability. They just wanted to try to justify the fact that they disagreed with us homeschooling. Now, thankfully, they see how well he has done, we just graduated him :)

[Joyofsixreboot]

All my children's problems are because we have a large family. :glare:

[scrapbookbuzz]

I haven't experienced the "it's your fault" comments . . . yet. But I'll remember all these responses for when I do! However, I'm still glad I read throug the thread because I had been contemplating getting my son tested for giftedness, and eventually my daughter for Asperger's. We've had her assessed but not formally dx'd. Now I think I may hold off on both. They're learning just fine at home with me so I think we'll keep it that way!

[acat]

I just have to add one of our experiences. Our 9 year old daughter developed terrible migraines lasting weeks at a time. This naturally resulted in depression. Keep in mind, that various members of our family had already been diagnosed with bipolar II, anxiety, selective mutism, autism, celiac disease, and a host of other ailments which required surgery and were life-altering. The psychologist advised us to stop making our daughter the "identified patient" of the family. We laughed for a long time over that one.

[dajiherndez]

My daughter is an undiagnosed dylexic. We have not got slack for that even though she reads below grade level. She feels stupid alot of times but we are able to work through it. But I have experienced the same type of criticism from many people because we are bi-cutural/racial.

 

With that said I think some times people are just ignorant for what ever reason and even look for reasons to put others down when they don't understand something.

 

Please don't take things like that to heart just keep going on doing what you are doing loving, teaching and raising your child to the best of your ability. When we do this no matter what problems we are faced with our children will be better off even with there difficulties!!!!

 

Mommas you all inspire me to be BETTER!

[Renee in NC]

All my children's problems are because we have a large family. :glare:

 

I had a psychiatrist tell me that.:glare: She said that too many pregnancies too close together made it so my nutritional stores were depleted and that is why my boys had these issues.

[Renee in NC]

It is an entire extra chromosome-- he inherited either two X's from me plus the Y from his Dad, or one X from me and both the X and Y from his Dad.

 

Typically, this arrangement does not run in families, as unless the man is mosaic (when only a % of the cells have the extra chromosome, instead of all of them; this does happen) he is usually sterile, but lives a normal life. Certain genetic mutations can make it more likely for these chromosomes to fail to separate, but a cause is not really known for all cases. At 1/500 (1/667 for XXY boys, plus other male variations such as XXXY, XXXXY, XXYY, XYY, or for girls, XXX filling out the rest) it is not rare. So, we do not see a lot of Dads passing it along to sons, and even men using new techniques to have kids are having typical 46,XY and 46,XX kids.

 

That said, I do know of one family with 3kids, 3 different x-linked disorders, including one 47,XXY boy. Statistically, that is as unlikely as seeing an elephant fly under it's own power.

 

There is a questionnaire at http://www.thefocusfoundation.org that parents can self-administer. I know the questions sound kind of, "Well, this could be anybody," but taken together, at least 3-4 yes answers give you a 40% likelihood of an X or Y chromosome duplication, according to it's author, who has published and co-published much peer-reviewed research in the field, matching up the genetics with educational outcomes. There used to be a problem with question number 2; the wording was backwards. If it still is, it will be obvious. I would say 4 yes answers definitely warrants a conversation with a physician about a blood test; 3 may well be worth it as well. The test you need is FISH, and they need to count enough cells to check for mosaicism if symptoms are mild.

 

 

 

I did the questionnaire and my 3 middle sons all scored a 7!:001_huh: My oldest and youngest were both a 3, but some of the questions cannot be answered for my youngest yet.

 

I think we need to have this checked out!