s/o justice and mercy...how about justice vs revenge?

[msjones]

I'm going out on a limb tonight. I have never posted anything personal here. But, I read the "justice vs mercy" thread with interest. This topic is on my mind a lot lately as I was once the victim of a violent s@xual assault. The case was cold for a long time and the assailant was finally discovered just recently.

 

The trial is upcoming. (I am being somewhat vague deliberately...)

 

I find myself thinking a lot about what justice really means. Justice according to whom? Me, the victim? The State? The judge and jury? The criminal? God?

 

I find that many people want revenge against this man. He does face up to about 20 years in prison. That's a long time. And it was a horrible crime. I don't want him to get away with it...

 

...I want justice, too. But I don't even know what that means. What I really want is for him to change -- truly repent and change. I don't want him to just be miserable and going crazy in prison. THAT is scary to me, because one day, he will be released. I don't know him at all...couldn't pick him out of a line-up...but I don't want him treated like an animal or a monster...that would somehow make the crime even worse to me...(does that make any sense?)

 

What do you consider 'criminal justice?' What is the difference between justice and revenge? Is punishment worth the risk of creating a worse criminal?

 

I'd love to hear some of your thoughts. It's been hard to discuss this with my real-life friends because everyone is so upset about it.

[simka2]

I cannot give you my best tonight, I am so sleepy. I will come back to this thread in the morning though. I have been a victim and my mother was attacked and stabbed in her gallery a couple years ago. The man was caught when he came back to finish. I stood beside my mother thru the entire court process.

 

One question/suggestion: Have you contacted vicitms services about some more counseling. This whole process is extrememly triggering and painful. My mother was able to get some amazing resources thru them.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Since I have BTDT I have thought through this to some extent.

 

While I could see someone committing a financial crime in some cases through ignorance, it would be very difficult unless there were mental difficulties, for someone to commit a s*xual assault and not know that it is wrong and that it is against the law. So I don't feel a lot of sympathy for someone getting caught and having a severe consequence that they knew very well came with doing that crime.

 

In my understanding of the Bible, God has set up the system of authority of government including the function of the administration of laws. So justice carried out by the state is compatible with justice from God. Upholding that justice doesn't help me as a survivor except as a bit of closure, of knowing that the state "has my back" and that hopefully society will be protected from a predator.

 

I am a very firm believer in a person's ability to make choices in life. A criminal's choices led to the commission of a crime. It would be difficult but a criminal can choose to make other choices that lead to a different kind of life outside of jail.

 

ETA: I agree with victim services. I had severe flashbacks during the process of being considered as a juror in a case rather similar to my own. The judge did dismiss me but if an unrelated case can trigger such feelings I would think that the prosecution of the person who assaulted me would be an even stronger trigger.

Edited June 14, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle

[msjones]

 

I am a very firm believer in a person's ability to make choices in life. A criminal's choices led to the commission of a crime. It would be difficult but a criminal can choose to make other choices that lead to a different kind of life outside of jail.

 

 

 

This part I feel settled about. His decision led to this. But what punishment makes sense?

 

I feel 'good' about his being locked away and unable to harm anyone else.

That is a big part of what is motivating me to testify.

 

But once he's locked away...how does that actually prevent him from committing another violent crime? It seems that it would increase the chance...

[msjones]

I cannot give you my best tonight, I am so sleepy. I will come back to this thread in the morning though. I have been a victim and my mother was attacked and stabbed in her gallery a couple years ago. The man was caught when he came back to finish. I stood beside my mother thru the entire court process.

 

One question/suggestion: Have you contacted vicitms services about some more counseling. This whole process is extrememly triggering and painful. My mother was able to get some amazing resources thru them.

 

I'd be glad to hear from you in the morning. I don't know anyone who has been through anything like this.

 

(I have a victim advocate assigned to me. She's very nice and well-informed, but also very busy and mostly provides facts. I guess I want some assurance that the trial will somehow actually result in something good. Or something like that...see how confused I am? I'm not even sure what I'm looking for.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

This part I feel settled about. His decision led to this. But what punishment makes sense?

 

I feel 'good' about his being locked away and unable to harm anyone else.

That is a big part of what is motivating me to testify.

 

But once he's locked away...how does that actually prevent him from committing another violent crime? It seems that it would increase the chance...

 

Locking him away is not designed to take away his volition. It takes him away from being able to exercise that volition in a negative way around potential victims. Once he gets out he can choose for himself. And hopefully the experience of prison will be such that he will not want to go back there.

[Sugarfoot]

You know what matters most in my mind? The fact that the person is kept from hurting anyone else. Really, it seems to me that our justice system fails in this time after time. Assigning a specific sentence to a crime just seems sort of arbitrary. So someone serves 5 years or 10 years because they committed a certain offense, and then at the end of that time, are they safe? Are the rest of us safe? I think a better way would be to really look at the nature of crimes and the likelihood that they'll be repeated once the criminal has "served the sentence." I don't know how this would work out in the "real world," but putting the focus on the safety and security of the law-abiding public makes sense to me.

[msjones]

You know what matters most in my mind? The fact that the person is kept from hurting anyone else. Really, it seems to me that our justice system fails in this time after time. Assigning a specific sentence to a crime just seems sort of arbitrary. So someone serves 5 years or 10 years because they committed a certain offense, and then at the end of that time, are they safe? Are the rest of us safe? I think a better way would be to really look at the nature of crimes and the likelihood that they'll be repeated once the criminal has "served the sentence." I don't know how this would work out in the "real world," but putting the focus on the safety and security of the law-abiding public makes sense to me.

 

Yes. This is part of what bothers me. Will locking him away for 20 years make the community safer? Or will it make him worse? Or both? I think both. And so I don't feel settled about any of this...

 

I know we are never truly 'safe' and never will be...so back to the question of justice...what does that mean?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes. This is part of what bothers me. Will locking him away for 20 years make the community safer? Or will it make him worse? Or both? I think both. And so I don't feel settled about any of this...

 

I know we are never truly 'safe' and never will be...so back to the question of justice...what does that mean?

 

Honestly? This is why I think that r*pe should have a death sentence - not because of any sense of revenge but because it protects the community forever.

[Sugarfoot]

Yes. This is part of what bothers me. Will locking him away for 20 years make the community safer? Or will it make him worse? Or both? I think both. And so I don't feel settled about any of this...

 

I know we are never truly 'safe' and never will be...so back to the question of justice...what does that mean?

 

I don't know. I think that for violent things, the longest sentence is the least that can be done. I understand your thinking, but it seems to me that a really long sentence would be a better deterrent than a shorter one given out of fear that he might become more vengeful. Does that make sense? It's a lot easier to keep up the vengeful feelings for 3 years than it is for 20. Not that he has anything to be vengeful about. He did this of his own volition, and there are consequences. Still, it just makes more sense to me to focus on the safety of the rest of us versus "how long of a sentence is just."

 

It's a hard thing to think about, for sure. One thing I do know, though, is that the victim is important to having parole denied. I worked with someone who's son was violently murdered. He was up for parole after just 3 years of his sentence. Ugh. Anyway, my friend and her DH went to every. single. hearing. He was denied each time, and they were told it often goes the other way if the victim (or his family, in this case,) stops coming. It's like they've gotten over it, so let's release him. Awful.

[msjones]

I don't know. I think that for violent things, the longest sentence is the least that can be done. I understand your thinking, but it seems to me that a really long sentence would be a better deterrent than a shorter one given out of fear that he might become more vengeful. Does that make sense? It's a lot easier to keep up the vengeful feelings for 3 years than it is for 20. Not that he has anything to be vengeful about. He did this of his own volition, and there are consequences. Still, it just makes more sense to me to focus on the safety of the rest of us versus "how long of a sentence is just."

 

.

 

I've never thought about it this way. It makes some sense, I suppose. Or do people just go crazy in there? I know so little about any of this...

 

I'm glad the sentence will (probably...) be a long one. If it was short, it would hardly feel worth my anxiety to go through the trial. I'm longing for some assurance that something will somehow be improved by all this...but I think that may be wishful thinking.

[msjones]

I

 

It's a hard thing to think about, for sure. One thing I do know, though, is that the victim is important to having parole denied. I worked with someone who's son was violently murdered. He was up for parole after just 3 years of his sentence. Ugh. Anyway, my friend and her DH went to every. single. hearing. He was denied each time, and they were told it often goes the other way if the victim (or his family, in this case,) stops coming. It's like they've gotten over it, so let's release him. Awful.

 

 

There's something I haven't thought of... so far I've been discouraged from attending the hearings. But I wouldn't dream of missing a hearing if it could prevent his release. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see how that pans out.

[Liz CA]

True justice is not really attainable here on earth IMHO. This man is - judging by his actions - already deeply disturbed. Any counseling in prison (if such a things exists anymore with all the budget cuts) is likely superficial and will not render this man safe to be released. I know, prison cannot hold everyone who needs to be isolated - so what to do? Mandated castration? There are other ways to inflict pain on someone. A life sentence will be unlikely because of overcrowding and the possibility of parole.

 

You said you would not recognize him. Will you have to appear in court where he can see you? Does he know you/would recognize you if he saw you again?

Could you arrange to testify without him seeing you in person?

I would feel a little safer this way. I hope you have a dh or someone with you to support you in this horrendous process.

[msjones]

True justice is not really attainable here on earth IMHO.

 

I think I agree, although I hope there are cases where justice is real here on earth. Anyone know of any?

You said you would not recognize him. Will you have to appear in court where he can see you? Does he know you/would recognize you if he saw you again?

Could you arrange to testify without him seeing you in person?

I would feel a little safer this way. I hope you have a dh or someone with you to support you in this horrendous process.

 

I do have to testify in the courtroom with him there. He has a right to attend his own trial. It will be the first time I've seen him since the crime. I am not able to testify via camera or anything like that; that happens only very, very rarely in my state. Even children have to testify in front of their attackers.

 

My husband and dear friends are very supportive and many of them plan to attend. But none of them seem to want to talk about my weird feelings about this not really being justice. I'm suppose I'm not sure what I would say to me either. ;)

[twoforjoy]

I think justice is about setting things right. Obviously we can't always do that--you can't undo a rape or a murder--but I think that making things right as much as is possible should be the ultimate goal of justice. Even if somebody needs to be locked away for life, for the good of society and because the crime was that serious, I still think that justice demands that that person not be written off, and that a healing of both the victim and the criminal be the goal. I think punishment has a role to play in that, but I don't think punishment and justice are the same thing.

 

I think revenge is all about punishment. Revenge, to me, seeks to punish without seeking to restore.

 

Can we have justice on earth? I don't know. In small cases, sure. If somebody steals something from me, and then apologizes, repays me for the item or replaces it, and changes their ways, and our relationship is restored, then I'd say we've seen justice at work.

 

But when we're talking about things that can't be "fixed," I don't know. I saw a story on the news the other night about a woman whose son was murdered when he was a teenager. The person who murdered him (another teenager) spent 20 years in prison, and she was able to forgive him and got to know him. He's been released, and he now lives next door to her (she helped him get the apartment) and they see each other every day. It sounds like he has truly changed, and that she has really found peace. To me, that seems about as close to justice as you can get in that sort of situation. (And obviously the fact that the perpetrator was truly repentant and showed evidence of real change was a big part of why things turned out like they did.) Would I be able to respond like that? I don't know, but I'd hope so.

[merry gardens]

...But none of them seem to want to talk about my weird feelings about this not really being justice. I'm suppose I'm not sure what I would say to me either. ;)

Justice and mercy are closely related. While there is such a thing as "revenge"--it's not revenge to put criminals in jail for a very long time. It's merciful to prevent someone from committing another serious crime. That's merciful to both the perpetrator and to any potential future victims. Obviously it's good for potential victims, but we sometimes forget that it's not good for criminals themselves to commit crimes. Crimes also hurt the person who committed the crimes.

 

You will have to look into your own heart to determine your motivations. Revenge isn't a good motive. Mercy and justice are. I can't judge your heart, so I can't really tell what motivates you. Sometimes I can't even judge my own motives very accurately. People often have mixed motives. But I wanted to write that it can be very merciful to limit criminal's ability to hurt innocent people.

[msjones]

Justice and mercy are closely related. While there is such a thing as "revenge"--it's not revenge to put criminals in jail for a very long time. It's merciful to prevent someone from committing another serious crime. That's merciful to both the perpetrator and to any potential future victims. Obviously it's good for potential victims, but we sometimes forget that it's not good for criminals themselves to commit crimes. Crimes also hurt the person who committed the crimes.

You will have to look into your own heart to determine your motivations. Revenge isn't a good motive. Mercy and justice are. I can't judge your heart, so I can't really tell what motivates you. Sometimes I can't even judge my own motives very accurately. People often have mixed motives. But I wanted to write that it can be very merciful to limit criminal's ability to hurt innocent people.

 

Thank you for this.

 

This is a completely new idea for me, one that makes a lot of sense...

[lovelaughs_times_three]

First of all...:grouphug:s to you for all of this. I think we do the best we can as humans, but true justice AND revenge can only come from God. He is the only one who can judge our hearts. Sometimes that leads to redemption. I have never committed a violent crime, but there is enough in my heart that I am thankful for God's mercy.

However, I think there are times that a heart is completely hardened and in no mood of ever seeking redemption. I think God knows which hearts those are. Thus the verse:

 

Romans 12:19

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

 

19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,†says the Lord.

 

I appreciate your heart in this. I empathize with the conflict of emotions you must be having.

Prison doesn't have to make him worse. That is his choice. I've also seen people make eternal changes in prison. I have a friend who was severely addicted to drugs. (I know this is very different than sexual assualt). She was given some Joyce Meyer materials in jail. It changed her life forever. I've known her for many years now and she is a loving, changed woman.

Only God knows if someone who has crossed such a horrible, frightening line can be redeemed and changed. But if he can, it can happen anywhere. In fact, sometimes it take us getting to the bottom of our lives to really change. If there is any hope for redemption for this man, the bottom of prison may be where he has to go first.

 

But, I don't want to babble on and on about this man's redemption. My heart is for you and your healing. I am praying for you as you work through all of this. I'm praying for your safety. I'm praying for your heart and your mind. I guess my best prayers for you would be summed up in this verse:

 

Isaiah 61:3

(That God will give you) beauty for ashes,

The oil of joy for mourning,

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

 

I agree with you. Justice and revenge are not fully carried out by the justice system. It is just the best we can do to protect our society and to attempt to deter crime. Only God can truly give justice, mercy or revenge.

[Ester Maria]

"Those that are merciful with the cruel / when they should be cruel [in lack of a better expression] will wind up being cruel with the merciful / when they should be merciful." (Talmud)

 

A scary thing to think about, but so true. I constantly remind myself of that when it comes to things such as violent crimes and why we should have very limited mercy level with people who commit them fully aware of what they were doing. On the other hand, there are many times when simply bureaucracy or being unable to step back and stop being the victim of the "legalism" of a punitive mind makes you actually punish a good person for something rather trivial they messed up who, maybe, just needs a forgiveness or a symbolic slap on the wrist. Both are wrong IMO.

[twoforjoy]

"Those that are merciful with the cruel / when they should be cruel [in lack of a better expression] will wind up being cruel with the merciful / when they should be merciful." (Talmud)

 

In practice, though, does it work this way?

 

I look at the U.S. for example, where we are extremely unmerciful to criminals, and have far more draconian laws than pretty much any other nation. We certainly don't extend more mercy to those who are merciful.

[simka2]

"Those that are merciful with the cruel / when they should be cruel [in lack of a better expression] will wind up being cruel with the merciful / when they should be merciful." (Talmud)

 

A scary thing to think about, but so true. I constantly remind myself of that when it comes to things such as violent crimes and why we should have very limited mercy level with people who commit them fully aware of what they were doing. On the other hand, there are many times when simply bureaucracy or being unable to step back and stop being the victim of the "legalism" of a punitive mind makes you actually punish a good person for something rather trivial they messed up who, maybe, just needs a forgiveness or a symbolic slap on the wrist. Both are wrong IMO.

 

I really like this!

OP, here are some thoughts for you. First be the squeaky wheel with VS. Tell them you may need help to be able to get thru the process of testifying. The other person to talk to will be the Prosecutor.

 

When it comes time to testify or just being in the court room a couple things. My mother felt that it was important for my younger siblings to see the justice system in action. (like Ester Maria pointed out to go soft on him would have actually punished them) This man tried to take away their mother. He succeeded in taking away their feelings of saftey.

 

My mother allowed by siblings to come into the courtroom. At one point he turned and gave my sister a very "evil" look. My mother was devestated that she had brought them. The feeling of knowing that in 20 or so years he would be released and she may not be around to protect my little sister. At this point we have 18 years to decide how this will affect us in the future and what precautions need to be taken. :glare:

 

This isn't Justice...even though it is called the justice system. This is "punishment." There is a certain perfectness in justice that is absent from this process. Justice WILL happen, in some way and form that you or I have no control over.

 

The last thing to think about is this: What can you control? Or, What can't you control?

 

You had no control over this man's crimes. You have no control over his choices then, now, or in the future. You have no control over wether he learns his lessons, or if he doesn't. If he didn't go to prison you would have no control over if he did or did not hurt someone else. When he gets out you have no control over if he hurts someone else.

 

You only have control over you. Do the next right thing. Protect those you can, even if it is just the potential victims he may have had during his incarceration. (This doesn't give you control. It simply allows you to take part in protecting someone else. A very healing oppurtunity)

 

When you become a conduit of the "justice" process you join with those who have gone before you and will come after you, to bring "justice" to others. Yes, it is a fractured imperfect form of justice, but so is everything here on earth. Or love is imperfect, our joy is imperfect, our pain is imperfect.

 

I do not know if this helps you at all. Do your best, rest in the arms of God and let him provide the lack. Most of all take care of you!!! This man has stolen from you, your family, other victims and their families, and society as a whole. There needs to be a punishment, and we need to protect the potential victims.

 

Many, many :grouphug:.

[Liz CA]

Very well stated!

[simka2]

In practice, though, does it work this way?

 

I look at the U.S. for example, where we are extremely unmerciful to criminals, and have far more draconian laws than pretty much any other nation. We certainly don't extend more mercy to those who are merciful.

 

Really? :confused: I can think of a few nations, but definatly not the majority of the worlds.

[twoforjoy]

Really? :confused: I can think of a few nations, but definatly not the majority of the worlds.

 

If you look at the amount of time we lock people up for for various crimes, and the percentage of our population that is incarcerated, it's very difficult to find a country that acts less mercifully towards its citizens.

[simka2]

If you look at the amount of time we lock people up for for various crimes, and the percentage of our population that is incarcerated, it's very difficult to find a country that acts less mercifully towards its citizens.

 

I think I was misreading your post ;). I thought you were saying that the US was one of the most merciless counties. Sorry!

Edited June 14, 2011 by simka2

[rlugbill]

I don't really have any answers, but I like the question. I went through 3 years of law school and the question was only raised once briefly in an ethics class and there were only a couple of different responses and limited discussion. Strangely, it's not really considered important in law school to figure out what justice is, because what really matters is just learning all the laws.

 

Here are my thoughts/feelings. One, in our legal system you actually are not in charge of a criminal case- the state is. That's the way our system works. So, it's not really all up to you what happens in this particular case.

 

However, how you deal with your own thoughts and reactions is within your control. You can feel fear or anger or hatred or mercy or freedom regardless of what the state does with this particular person. You also can request that a particular action take place- this is within your control. But you cannot control the outcome.

 

Some crime victims have used restorative justice programs to help them get their questions answered/ get some closure or resolution to their feelings. If you are interested, I do recommend this. A structured, safe way to resolve whatever feelings you are having, while making the offender truly accountable in a real, human way.

 

Restorative justice deals more with the thoughts/questions/feelings side of things that our criminal justice system pretty much ignores/pretends doesn't exist. Our criminal justice system is very legalistic and based on law and power and politics, not based on science or human relationships.

 

The theory of restorative justice is that offenders are not really accountable for their actions if they don't have to deal with it on a personal level. They just deal with it on a legal level and do a certain amount of time or whatever, but it does little to change them since they haven't had to confront the reality of the harm they have caused. There is no healing on either side-offender or victim.

 

Anyway, the criminal justice system will do whatever it does, but it probably won't provide you with any resolution because it isn't designed to do that. It also probably won't change the offender because it isn't really designed to do that either. It is basically designed to comply with our laws and the legal system.

 

There is some social science research about criminal justice and what actually helps reduce crime, but it isn't the basis of our legal system. Our legal system is designed more for punishment (just desserts), rather than to reduce crime or to help people.

 

Don't expect the legal system to do something it isn't designed to do. It won't heal you and it won't change the offender. It's not really about justice or mercy- it's about a set of laws and a specified process and bureaucracy.

 

Just as our school system is not to be confused with education and our health care system is not to be confused with health, our criminal justice system is not to be confused with justice. Justice means making things right, not just following the legal system.

 

Often, people think of justice and mercy as some sort of continuum and just want to know how to strike a balance. However, that is very limited thinking and doesn't allow for creative solutions and multiple factors which may be involved.

 

It is too limiting to just think in terms of 2 years in prison vs. 10 years in prison, when in reality, there are multiple processes and infinite results that could resolve a particular situation. There are many different ways to view any situation and to resolve any problem.

 

I wish you the best of luck in resolving yours.

 

Many blessings.

[msjones]

I really like this!

OP, here are some thoughts for you. First be the squeaky wheel with VS. Tell them you may need help to be able to get thru the process of testifying. The other person to talk to will be the Prosecutor.

 

When it comes time to testify or just being in the court room a couple things. My mother felt that it was important for my younger siblings to see the justice system in action. (like Ester Maria pointed out to go soft on him would have actually punished them) This man tried to take away their mother. He succeeded in taking away their feelings of saftey.

 

My mother allowed by siblings to come into the courtroom. At one point he turned and gave my sister a very "evil" look. My mother was devestated that she had brought them. The feeling of knowing that in 20 or so years he would be released and she may not be around to protect my little sister. At this point we have 18 years to decide how this will affect us in the future and what precautions need to be taken. :glare:

 

This isn't Justice...even though it is called the justice system. This is "punishment." There is a certain perfectness in justice that is absent from this process. Justice WILL happen, in some way and form that you or I have no control over.

 

The last thing to think about is this: What can you control? Or, What can't you control?

 

You had no control over this man's crimes. You have no control over his choices then, now, or in the future. You have no control over wether he learns his lessons, or if he doesn't. If he didn't go to prison you would have no control over if he did or did not hurt someone else. When he gets out you have no control over if he hurts someone else.

 

You only have control over you. Do the next right thing. Protect those you can, even if it is just the potential victims he may have had during his incarceration. (This doesn't give you control. It simply allows you to take part in protecting someone else. A very healing oppurtunity)

 

When you become a conduit of the "justice" process you join with those who have gone before you and will come after you, to bring "justice" to others. Yes, it is a fractured imperfect form of justice, but so is everything here on earth. Or love is imperfect, our joy is imperfect, our pain is imperfect.

 

I do not know if this helps you at all. Do your best, rest in the arms of God and let him provide the lack. Most of all take care of you!!! This man has stolen from you, your family, other victims and their families, and society as a whole. There needs to be a punishment, and we need to protect the potential victims.

 

Many, many :grouphug:.

 

Good advice about what I can and cannot control. I've been thinking that when the trial is over I'll somehow have some answers about why he did what he did, and some assurance that he'll actually change. Silly. I'm beginning to realize that I'll never know anything about his motive, his heart, his future... I just wish there could be some redemption, I guess. But, as you point out, that is out of my control.

 

And your words do help. Thank you.

[msjones]

I don't really have any answers, but I like the question. I went through 3 years of law school and the question was only raised once briefly in an ethics class and there were only a couple of different responses and limited discussion. Strangely, it's not really considered important in law school to figure out what justice is, because what really matters is just learning all the laws.

 

I see that when meeting with the prosecutor -- it's all about hammering the case through the laws and getting the biggest possible punishment. I keep kind of waiting for the justice/ethics/redemption/motivation part to come up. But I'm beginning to see that it won't come. Those questions aren't even on the table.

 

Here are my thoughts/feelings. One, in our legal system you actually are not in charge of a criminal case- the state is. That's the way our system works. So, it's not really all up to you what happens in this particular case.

 

This makes sense although it sometimes seems a bit bizarre; the case has everything to do with me and very little to do with me at the same time.

 

However, how you deal with your own thoughts and reactions is within your control. You can feel fear or anger or hatred or mercy or freedom regardless of what the state does with this particular person. You also can request that a particular action take place- this is within your control. But you cannot control the outcome.

 

Some crime victims have used restorative justice programs to help them get their questions answered/ get some closure or resolution to their feelings. If you are interested, I do recommend this. A structured, safe way to resolve whatever feelings you are having, while making the offender truly accountable in a real, human way.

 

Restorative justice deals more with the thoughts/questions/feelings side of things that our criminal justice system pretty much ignores/pretends doesn't exist. Our criminal justice system is very legalistic and based on law and power and politics, not based on science or human relationships.

Yes. I'm seeing this now, and I need to quit waiting for the human relationship part to begin.

 

The theory of restorative justice is that offenders are not really accountable for their actions if they don't have to deal with it on a personal level. They just deal with it on a legal level and do a certain amount of time or whatever, but it does little to change them since they haven't had to confront the reality of the harm they have caused. There is no healing on either side-offender or victim.

 

This is a big part of what is bothering me. I just don't see that much good will come of this (other than --and I know this is very important --protecting others from him while he is incarcerated). I just wish there would be some real change on his part. But that goes back to the previous poster who pointed out that that is completely out of my control.

 

Anyway, the criminal justice system will do whatever it does, but it probably won't provide you with any resolution because it isn't designed to do that. It also probably won't change the offender because it isn't really designed to do that either. It is basically designed to comply with our laws and the legal system.

 

I know it will be very helpful for me to remember this as the trial approaches. I truly appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences.