Mosaicmind Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Samuel was diagnosed with ADHD in October 2009 by our pediatrician. She said it was so over the top that we didn't pursue any other testing by a psychologist, although I am rethinking that just so we have it except it's so darn expensive. We have also discussed Asperger's although he doesn't quite fit all the symptomology so she is hesitant to diagnose him with that. Anyway, he is in 5th grade this year but is struggling; not only education-wise but socially. I have few close friends plus my own counselor who tells me that he is not mature enough to move in middle school. If he moves up into 6th grade, he would be in youth group at church and I know he isn't ready for that. The workload for 6th grade is going to be too much for him. I am just not sure. The only thing is that down the road when he's in highschool he will turn 18 in March and be a junior, which would mean he would be 19 when he graduates. I have to look to the future and what how this will impact him then. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Many kids with summer birthdays are turning 19 when they graduate. I've never heard of it negatively impacting them. He will only be a few months older. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cheryl in SoCal Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I know many who have graduated at 19 and it wasn't a bad experience for any of them, and it's not just assumed that they are older because they are/were behind. My friend's dd graduated at 19 last year and got a full ride (academic, not sports) to the college she wanted to go to so she wasn't behind and the college of her choice didn't hold it against her or they wouldn't have given her a full ride. Her mother also told me that many of the incoming freshmen were 19 or older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cat Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 In Kindergarten the VP of the school called to suggest I put my son in a summer reading class, unfortunately we had summer plans so it was a no go... so she strongly suggested we hold him back although he had passed to first grade. I held him back...... I think this is a decision that I rushed into... I wish now that I would have given it more thought and made my decision when the school year started. At that time I had been thinking that he wasn't ready for 1st grade.... he has dyslexia and ADD.... without being able to read I feared it would be a horrible experience. I held him back and sadly he had a different teacher who was not understanding to his learning differences and made him feel so dumb and punished him for not getting his work done, .... he couldn't read the worksheets and she refused to read them to him..... after completing a second year in kindergarten, he could still not read and now his self esteem was at an all time low..... I still could not bring myself to put him in 1st grade not being able to read.....so I now homeschool him. I would not worry about his age at all.... like the others said there are many kids out there graduating at 19...... I would give more thought to other aspects..... like, how will he feel about repeating a grade? Did he pass all his classes? If so, he will be bored out of his mind. My son is also less mature than other kids..... he is now in 4th grade and I still see he is less mature, and that is with him being held back.... I have been using social skill workbooks that are geared toward ADD which has really helped. Wondering if you have you considered homeschooling him for one year? In Florida, while one is homeschooling a middle schooler or high schooler, parents can put them in a few classes and have them do sports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn&charles Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Samuel was diagnosed with ADHD in October 2009 by our pediatrician. She said it was so over the top that we didn't pursue any other testing by a psychologist, although I am rethinking that just so we have it except it's so darn expensive. We have also discussed Asperger's although he doesn't quite fit all the symptomology so she is hesitant to diagnose him with that. Anyway, he is in 5th grade this year but is struggling; not only education-wise but socially. I have few close friends plus my own counselor who tells me that he is not mature enough to move in middle school. If he moves up into 6th grade, he would be in youth group at church and I know he isn't ready for that. The workload for 6th grade is going to be too much for him. I am just not sure. The only thing is that down the road when he's in highschool he will turn 18 in March and be a junior, which would mean he would be 19 when he graduates. I have to look to the future and what how this will impact him then. What would you do? Otter will be 19 when he graduates because we held him back. It was one of the best decisions I made and absolutely right for him. Sorry I don't have time to post more...but I thought I'd quickly chime in. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huntchaos Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 It was recommended to us that we should hold my son back - prior to K - I actually became an accidental homeschooler that year, sent him to school finally and, have since pulled him back to homeschool. He will be 19 when he graduates. He is aspergers as well. He does talk about it- being older in a different grade. I don't think he would even notice now that we are homescholing but, at church it is divied up by grade so off and on he mentions other kids being younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murmer Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 Have you considered how your son will feel about being held back? It could really effect his confidence and kids with ADHD often feel bad about themselves just as a result of the ADHD so to hold back could be devastating. Also with the diagnosis of ADHD your son should be able to qualify for a 504 plan which would have accommodations for your son regarding things like organization and help that might help him in Jr. High. If you feel that your son is ok with being held back and if he will benefit academically then it might be worth it but I would still find out about getting a 504. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted May 1, 2011 Share Posted May 1, 2011 I think you should be very specific with yourself about what you think the extra year will accomplish, and whether that is worth the cost. If the problem is the adhd, will one year help that, or would that extra year merely be putting off the inevitable? Are you happy with his medication? (As for the diagnosis, there are other issues that can look like ADHD, and personally, I would not rely on my ped. What if there are other issues in addition to or in place of the adhd that could be helped? At this sort of juncture, with this big of a decision, I'd seek a professional, and I would not count the ped as being qualified, especially when his adhd is so "bad") If the problem is maturity, do you see him as less mature than, say, his friends? What are the chances that he could rise to the occasion next year? Would he be ready for the workload after one more year? Where is he at academically? These are the questions I'd be asking myself. Good luck with your decision! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted May 2, 2011 Author Share Posted May 2, 2011 Wow!! thanks for the responses. I have been homeschooling him since the very beginning except for 1 semester last year when we tried out ps. It was a disaster. I won't go into details but they wouldn't even test him so he could get an IEP and have extra help in the classroom because he was on medication and doing just fine while on it. I wasn't prepared or willing to fight it; it was easier to bring him back home. He definitely has ADHD, there is no question about that. He has no friends. Because of his impulsiveness, social ineptness, constant fidgeting, inappropriate words and actions he just has not made any friends. His younger brother, who is 9yrs old, is more mature than he is. Academically he is still considered the beginning of 5th grade in most of his subjects. Spelling is by far his best subject. He can spell almost any word you say to him and he reads at an 8th grade level right now. Math and language arts are a struggle. He loves science and history. I guess just right off the top of my head if I held him back I would hope to get him back on track academically. We have been trying to work on behavior and medication issues this year that I have let some things slide. I would hope he would mature enough to be prepared for 6th grade in another year. One more year would give us the chance to work out his medication issues and seek out a psych evaluation of his ADHD and possible asperger's. I would also like to look at changing his diet and getting him into some sort of all around sport such as swimming or running that could help with his behavior. I am going to be asking my husband to pray about this over the next week. I know it sounds stupid but I would like to have a decision before June rolls around. Our church has a VBS that takes the incoming 6th graders and does a whole week of special projects with them to prepare them for youth group. If I am going to hold him back I want to know before then so I know if he will be doing that during VBS or not. Plus I want to be able to talk to him about it beforehand. Also, I will be talking to Samuel about being held back. It's important for me to know what he thinks and feels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I have not read the replies, but do you homeschool or afterschool? If you homeschool then absolutely hold him back if he needs another year of maturity. Graduating at 19 will not be the worst thing in the world, but also homeschooling you will be able to catch up 1 grade within 6 years of school, ya know? Give him that extra year of maturity (I would recommend different curriculum though) and then go from there. If he is in a school (Public or Private) then you need to look at how that would affect him with his friends and such? If he will be teased (kids are ridiculously cruel for no reason) then maybe you can get a tutor to help him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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