Recommendations on where to start for older teen with possible Aspergers?

[Tardis Girl]

So much of what I see is dealing with children or tweens. Can anyone give me some good resources (reliable websites, books possibly to find at the library) on working with an older teen who is almost out of the house who might be diagnosed with Aspergers? I think if she had been born a few years later someone would've picked up on her issues a little more. She was a very delayed speaker, although has always had an unbelievable command of the written word. Some of the "signs" like lack of recognition of social cues, lack of empathy, avoiding eye contact (always looking up at the ceiling or somewhere no matter what we tried to do), in her own little world a lot of time (although has a terrific focus for academics because of that), awkward with large motor development. She excels at the written word, as I said, has an amazing vocabulary and writes complex fiction and nonfiction. And pretty much always has excelled at those things, relative to her age.

 

She could be leaving home in a year and I feel like she is so unprepared to deal with social issues, "street smarts", etc. And she WANTS to leave home, travel, go away to college, and more. We've never taken her to be diagnosed, and TBH, I haven't even brought up this topic to her as even being a possibility. I guess I figured I'd try to educate myself first and see if this is something "real" in terms of a real diagnosis, etc. Or does it even matter at this point since she's practically an adult?

 

Can you guys recommend anything for me? Or what would you do?

 

Thanks so much!

Edited April 27, 2011 by StaceyZ

[AngieW in Texas]

My 18yo was just diagnosed last month and I think it's going to be a good thing for her. I found out that the college where she's going in the fall has a free weekly social skills program for students with Asperger's and she's already signed up for it. You have to have an official diagnosis though.

 

My 15yo doesn't have an official diagnosis, but she is likely to end up at the same college where my oldest is going, so I'm thinking about having her evaluated this summer.

[Dobela]

It can matter dramatically as an adult. My brother was not diagnosed until he was in his early 30s. After diagnosis he qualified for special college courses, job training, job placement, and eventually disability.

[Critterfixer]

I don't know if there are better books out there now, but when my psychologist who was treating me for clinical depression brought up Asperger's as a probably cause for so many of my "issues" she recommend Tony Attwood's books on Asperger's Syndrome. I also got Pretending to be Normal, by Liane Holliday Willey. Both of those books talk about diagnoses at an older age, and about college, getting out in the workplace, etc.

I find them useful.

[huntchaos]

It can matter dramatically as an adult. My brother was not diagnosed until he was in his early 30s. After diagnosis he qualified for special college courses, job training, job placement, and eventually disability.

 

Another reason to get an official diagnosis!

Self diagnosing is not helpful in most cases

 

It will help to see exactly what is going on

[Tardis Girl]

she recommend Tony Attwood's books on Asperger's Syndrome. I also got Pretending to be Normal, by Liane Holliday Willey. Both of those books talk about diagnoses at an older age, and about college, getting out in the workplace, etc.

I find them useful.

 

thank you for the titles! I will look into those!

 

I appreciate the other comments and issues with self-diagnosing, but what do you recommend actually doing in this situation? I'm a little hesitant to tell an older teen, "let's try to find a doctor in our area who can meet with you and see if he can diagnose you with Aspergers" when I dont know much about it myself. She's obviously an intelligent person and recognizes that she's different in some ways from others, but from a self-esteem perspective, do I really want to be suggesting things that might not be so? Or does it just seem obvious to you guys that this is a likely diagnosis and so we should just go together? I just assumed the first step for me (before talking to her) is to learn more about it -- or other possibilities.

 

Would appreciate some suggestion as to what you would do in my situation. Thanks!

Edited April 27, 2011 by StaceyZ

[Guest RENITA]

It would be best to be up front with her and tell her what you think, and let her look it up if she wants too.

 

After years of struggling with helping my youngest sons, we got diagnosed with Asperger's and high IQS in 2009 at ages 11 and 8. so I have 2 really smart kids who are quirky and unique.

 

I am home schooling my 13 year now as the Alabama school system has nothing in place to accommodate, and will ad the 10 year old next year (he requested to remain in his charter school in FL for the last year 5th grade).

 

We actually had bad reactions to vaccinations at age 4 and 2. so not more vaccinations for us.

 

It was my 4 yr olds second reaction so he got more and had more worse symptoms and autistic problems. Unfortunately the doctors have determined that my family has a tendency to develop autism with the vaccinations more than likely due to the mercury ( as we are allergic).

It took years of research but my local GP finally came up with the idea of Asperger's and referred us for testing.

 

The boys knew up front what was being tested and told, "I know you are special, and Dr Raney knows your are special. He thinks you have Asperger's Syndrome. We are getting some special testing done, so we can know just what is going on, so that we figure out what you need to help you succeed. "

 

Aspergers is not a thing to be ashamed of; it is not a dumb disease.

 

Since Aspies are unique they think differently about a lot of things which leads to exceptional discoveries. a lot of Aspies are of extremely high intelligence.

 

"They call it thinking outside the box."

 

Truth has always been the best way to go.

[Tardis Girl]

Great reply, Renita! I totally see what you're saying. Is there s place online that lists off symptoms for Aspergers and maybe even other diagnoses with similar symptoms? I guess I'd like to have a little more to go on to confirm or direct me on if this would be a reasonable diagnosis.... Or do those of you with more experience just look at my original post/description and just think, "Yeah, that's most likely it"?

[Dobela]

Renita had a great reply. We sort of handled it the same with my brother. My brother had always worked with my parents but my dad was retiring. We knew he would have lots of difficulty finding another job that would be patient with his quirks. We approached it by saying we wanted to help him understand himself more and to help him find the best path for the next stage of his life. He had struggled all his life and had been in special ed classes since he was 2 years old so going thru evaluations was nothing new. He actually looked forward to this. And, once he was finally diagnosed, he was just so happy to know other folks were like him and he wasn't just stupid and weird because he couldn't get social situations. It was also very freeing for my parents who finally knew that he wasn't going to mature or grow out of some of the behaviors.

 

The hardest part for us was finding a psychologist and pyschiatrist that were willing to eval him as an adult, AND that had experience with Aspergers/Autism. We finally found one of each at a university hospital 60 miles away.