Homeschooling when a child would do well in a public school

[Peela]

 

I was talking to dh last night and was bemused to find that he was the one adamant that she needs to be homeschooled (he was always on the fence about homeschooling in the past). He feels that her need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead her astray (character wise) if she were in public school. I'm going to admit that I do not want unbiased advice on this thread. I want encouragement to keep homeschooling her. I want to be bolstered in my resolve and am asking you to give me a backbone!

 

Thats funny Jean. Same with my 2, except my son is slightly younger than my dd. But I took dd OUT of school at age 9 because we realised that with her highly social and popular nature she was going to be so peer influenced, we would lose her pretty soon. And we had just started homeschooling ds because he wasn't handling school- and we realised the benefits went far beyond academics. ANd dh, initially sceptical about the whole homeschool thing, became my very staunch supporter.

So much so that when I recently decided ds needed to go to highschool...it took dh ages to come around! As far as he was concerned I was sending ds to the wolves!

 

However, what i would say to you is that you are probably spot on about your daughter...but remember, you only need to decide what you feel is best for her now, not for the rest of her life! My dd was very resistant to homeschooling at age 9. Very. She spent the first 6 months asking me every day when she could go back to school. Its such a social age (well, they all are for some kids).So I worked hard to make her social life happen and it worked out.

Last year she wanted to go back to school and she would have been fine. But we worked out a different pathway for her that gave her a LOT of freedom and spare time- as others have said, that can be a huge draw card in the teen years. I think ds will be a bit shocked how little spare time he will have once he starts school next week.

 

Anyway, I absolutely love how you asked for what you wanted in this thread :) and i support you fully in continuing to homeschool your wonderfully alive daughter in the forseeable future. :)

[lionfamily1999]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Good thing I wasn't drinking or eating anything while reading this comment!

;)

[elise1mds]

Jean,

 

Your daughter reminds me of my own. I am an introvert Mom with an extravert, ADD-inattentive, sensory-seeking daughter. She wears me out.

 

But sometimes parenting requires a paradox. Kind of like the tomato-staking idea, or the "if they're being rotten and you want to pull away, pull them closer" idea. I think this falls into that category.

 

I have joked for years that I didn't send my DD to public school because she would charm the teacher and visit with the students, and people would like her so much that they might not well notice that she doesn't actually DO her work. LOL.

 

I too think that my daughter's need for stimulation and peer interaction would lead my daughter's character astray, so I am right there with your husband.

 

I also think your daughter learns how to get her needs met without draining you, and that is a skill that will take quite some time and practice to acquire. I talk with my daughter about this regularly--she uses me as her stim, literally draining me. I would hate for her to not learn this lesson before, say, going into marriage. She needs to learn how to let God fill the empty places in her heart rather than draining people to try to fill them. So, her learning this lesson is not any fun for me (!), but I pray that other people in her life later will thank me ; ).

 

Also, my DD has even told me that it helps to separate school time and social time. One doesn't distract from the other. And I agree with what the other posters have stated about wanting to keep the quality and focus of high school high, as well as be able to deal with character issues and avoid negative institutional situations.

 

Homeschooling allows us to have room in our schedule for high-quality social and group activities that do help energize her. I am becoming more pro-active about finding those as she reaches high school. But I am definitely homeschooling her through high school.

 

Hope this helps.

 

I'm coming in late here, and obviously my daughter is MUCH younger than yours, but I'm in a similar boat. She's gone to some form of school since she was 3 (two days a week at preschool) because I simply could not keep up with her pace. I have limited extroverted energy, and she breaks down if she doesn't see enough people in a day. I am quite happy to sit and read a book; she wants to go outside and swing so hard she lifts the swingset off the ground (thankfully it's anchored, so it didn't get far).

 

WTMCassandra might as well be describing my daughter when she says that teachers might not even notice if she doesn't do her work. It's true. There are days when my DD has come home and said, "I didn't get done with my sort [reading work] because I was helping [a classmate] instead, but Sister [her teacher is a nun] said that was okay because she knows I know how to do it." :001_huh: I've seen her come home with someone else's coloring pages because she finished them for someone else, and vice versa.

 

My DD is smart. It sounds like yours is, too. And if she's smart enough and extroverted enough, and you send her to school, she's either A) going to get picked on for being smart and lose some of her special charm, or B) learn how to work the system and become manipulative in her own way.

 

I'm there, too, in a way. I got to have a day home with my DD last week where we "did school," and while it was completely exhausting for me and drove DS up the wall, she said she did more work in two hours at home than she does all day at her kindergarten. I *LIKE* her school. It's a good school. There's only one teacher I really don't care for, and the test scores (for what they're worth) are great. But when I walk down the hall and see the upper grades (5-8) working on stuff that *I* feel should be taught earlier... I dunno. It makes me want to bring her home and work out a way for her to feed the social butterfly another way, a way that will work for all of us. I'm sure it can be done. I just have to figure out how. I hope you can, too!

[Ellie]

Your dh is a wise, wise man. You should listen to him. :)

 

It isn't always about academics. Heck, it is *usually* not about academics.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you, everyone! Deep down, I really do think that homeschooling is best for her at this time. I just have my moments of burn-out. Your words really were a boost to me to keep going!