hana Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 If you had, or adopted, a baby at 45 or later, can you tell me your thoughts on it? Any regrets? Is it all good? No debate please, just hoping for some BTDT as I ponder another adoption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Does having read about Kelly P & John Travolta count? ;) She's 48. I wonder if that was her egg. Are her eggs as young as she looks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Here's a fun article...and this woman was over 50. www.more.com/2024/2248-why-have-a-baby-after Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I had my last at age 41, a month from 42. Physically, it was a demanding pregnancy. But if adoption is your route, there are different considerations. I will start off by saying that nothing would make me change my mind about having this last child. She is the joy in our lives! That said, I will ask what is the age of your now-youngest child? THAT is what will really affect things. My next oldest (twins) were 8 when little bit came along, and oldest was 10. It wasn't such a challenge at first, since we were all used to doing everything together. Fast forward 5 years. Now there are many times when dh and I part company, one of us with the teens and the other with the little one. Their interests and abilities are a decade apart! We do as much as possible together, but it definitely affects our family dynamics. If you have others that are 5 years or younger (or will be when new child arrives), I wouldn't anticipate this type of challenge. And even if you would have a span of ages 5 to 15, it might not be hard. But the big gap does has its challenges. Also, I do find that my patience is not as easily stretched as it was when I was younger and the others were little. The hormonal shifts at my age (now 47) don't help! But for all that, I'd do it again in a heartbeat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Have you checked out the restrictions on international vs. domestic adoptions. DH and I REALLY wanted to adopt an infant or a child two and under internationally (Latin America or Africa) after we got moved and settled. I'm 42 and he's 46. Every single country we were interested in adopting from had a restriction that neither parent could be over 45 and still get and infant or toddler (well, unless we were a rich and famous celebrity - then the rules could be very easily circumvented!). So, I would suggest that you start out by deciding if you want to adopt domestically or internationally and then begin looking at any age restrictions. Internationally, the age restrictions were set by the other country, not the U.S. But, within the U.S., adoption agencies can differ quite a bit on their own policies. Therefore, some may be very open to parents 45 and older who want an infant and others may not. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 (edited) Faithmanor. China allows adoptive parents up to age 55. Edited January 24, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 :001_smile: Hana, Yay! You are a great mom, go for it. I have several friends that have adopted over 45 if you want me to give you their email addresses I will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 My parents (both) were last babies. I'm obviously glad they were both born :) My gparents were all over 45 when they were born :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Have you checked out the restrictions on international vs. domestic adoptions. DH and I REALLY wanted to adopt an infant or a child two and under internationally (Latin America or Africa) after we got moved and settled. I'm 42 and he's 46. Every single country we were interested in adopting from had a restriction that neither parent could be over 45 and still get and infant or toddler (well, unless we were a rich and famous celebrity - then the rules could be very easily circumvented!). So, I would suggest that you start out by deciding if you want to adopt domestically or internationally and then begin looking at any age restrictions. Internationally, the age restrictions were set by the other country, not the U.S. But, within the U.S., adoption agencies can differ quite a bit on their own policies. Therefore, some may be very open to parents 45 and older who want an infant and others may not. Faith Have you checked Liberia or around that area? I do not believe that they have an age restriction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeytolily Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'm 49, DH is 46, and we have started the paperwork for our 4th child (and 4th adoption). Our kids are 9 (Guatemala), 7 (Korea), and 2 (domestic newborn). My DH and I were late bloomers; we didn't even find each other until we were in our late 30s. We adore our kids, and we have a great family, if I do say so myself! My only regret about starting so late in life is that I might have had MORE children if I'd started sooner. Alas, this one will almost surely be the last adoption....so I'm praying for twins! Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 We adopted our last when I was 46 and DH was 49. DS was 27 months when we did his international adoption. Having already raised two children (also adopted) who are in their 30s, we did start over. It has been wonderful. We always say that DS will keep us on our toes in retirement. The downside - we are TIRED! DS is a well-behaved, very easy child but he is goes from sun up to sun down. There are days that I get him in bed, walk in my bedroom and crawl in bed myself because I am exhausted. It is tough right now as DH works two jobs - teaching all day at the high school and 4 nights a week at the university, thus schooling and all childcare fall on my shoulders. Would I do it again looking in hindsight? Yes. Would we do it now (at almost 50 and 53)? No, we just don't have the energy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 We adopted our two when I was in my 54 and my dh was 67. Regrets? Not a one. Has it been easy? NO but there are few things worthwhile that are truly easy. The only thing that concerns me at times is that by the time they are in their later teens I will be close to 70. My health is not what it used to be and neither is my dh's. I would say, if you are a prayer, truly seek HIM. We didn't fight for our two but this is where God had for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I forgot to say that we got our two through foster adopt. They were 6 mo and 18 mo when they were first placed in our home and heart. I might also say that for us raising adopted children has been a lot different than raising our birth children. There have been many challenges with our adopted that were just simply not an issue with our birth children. They truly are the light of my life though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetstitches Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 We are going through our homestudy to adopt our 5th child now; I will be 48 in a week and DH will be 53 in a month. There is usually no age restriction to adopt an African American newborn domestically. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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