Behavioral issues and ADHD

[Renee in NC]

My 9yo is on Vyvanse and it works very, very well. Unfortunately, the 90 minutes before his meds kick in can be disasterous, as they were this morning. On one hand, I am grateful that he isn't like this ALL day (which is how it was before he was medicated.) At the same time, "my medicine hasn't kicked in yet" is not a valid excuse for blatant disrespect and defiance.

 

He does not do this at other people's homes or at school, so there is *some* control possible.

 

I calmly state the expectations and I will *not* engage with him. I have learned that engaging with him while he is screaming at me, throwing things, or otherwise melting down will simple escalate the situation. I state the problem, remind him of the consequences, and then walk away.

 

How do we work on this? He will probably be getting counseling starting in Feb., but I am not positive and I am not sure of the qualifications of the therapists at the place we are allowed to go.

 

Also, just to add this - sometimes we have these episodes in the afternoons when his medicine *is* working. The meltdowns almost always occur because he is being made to do something he doesn't want to do or he is being corrected for unacceptable behavior.

[deacongirl]

http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Difficult-Child-Nurtured-Approach/dp/0967050707/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1287284602&sr=1-1

 

I really like this book.

[sweetsouthern]

dd had this problem on long acting adderal. the gave her a short acting for first thing in the am that kicked in pretty quick. although we altogether switched meds for other reasons... but i do rember reading that some people would wake ther child up like an hour before hand and give there med and then let them sleep another hour (roughly). this would have never worked for dd , but an idea. also im unsure if u can get a short acting of something for just the am and then delay the long acting does by another hour if need be. or i know some of the meds come in patch form.. maybe that option?? just throwing out some ideas :)

[cjbeach]

My only suggestion would be a good behavioral therapist. We started my ds young, maybe 4ish. We drove an hour to downtown Orlando 3 days a week while I was 7 mos pregnant and had a 2yo but it was *so, so, so* worth it.

We've done behavioral mod at 2 places but the first place was truly where *I* learned the most.

I would check insurances for ABA/behavior mod providers. But like anything else, it depends on which place you go to. There is a local provider which was nothing like playtime for my ds. The Orlando provider was a much different experience.

Short term maybe check out some ABA books, behavior mod books.

(((hugs)))

[deacongirl]

My only suggestion would be a good behavioral therapist. We started my ds young, maybe 4ish. We drove an hour to downtown Orlando 3 days a week while I was 7 mos pregnant and had a 2yo but it was *so, so, so* worth it.

We've done behavioral mod at 2 places but the first place was truly where *I* learned the most.

I would check insurances for ABA/behavior mod providers. But like anything else, it depends on which place you go to. There is a local provider which was nothing like playtime for my ds. The Orlando provider was a much different experience.

Short term maybe check out some ABA books, behavior mod books.

(((hugs)))

There is an awesome awesome behaviourist in Orlando--a woman whose name I can't remember, but she was at the DS clinic in Orlando and the DS Assoc. of Jax also had her come up. She was amazing. I wonder if she might be the same one you saw.

[Unicorn.]

Renee, does this sound like your ds?

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+with+Oppositional+Defiant+Disorder&section=Facts+for+Families

[Renee in NC]

Renee, does this sound like your ds?

http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+with+Oppositional+Defiant+Disorder&section=Facts+for+Families

 

No. Other than the inability to control his temper at times (which is when the defiance and disrespect kicks in), he is a sweet, helpful kid. He doesn't argue much at all, generally does what he is told, etc. He doesn't even always react badly when corrected or told to do something he doesn't want to do. After 15 minutes or so (sometimes longer) he is truly apologetic.

 

Most mornings he's just annoying, not angry.:tongue_smilie: He bounces around, doesn't get his shoes on, annoys his brother (who is *not* a morning person), etc. I looked up the DSM-IV for Oppositional Defiant Disorder and he doesn't meet the criteria.

 

He's got ADHD, sensory issues, and is diagnosed mildly MR (but not sure about that one.) I think there is something else going on, too, but we'll have to wait for that diagnosis for now. He had *extreme* temper tantrums as a preschooler as well.

 

I just need to remember that my oldest was still having temper tantrums at 9 as well. He's grown into a great 17yo (who can still have a bad temper;)), so I will try not to worry too much.

[Renee in NC]

My only suggestion would be a good behavioral therapist. We started my ds young, maybe 4ish. We drove an hour to downtown Orlando 3 days a week while I was 7 mos pregnant and had a 2yo but it was *so, so, so* worth it.

We've done behavioral mod at 2 places but the first place was truly where *I* learned the most.

I would check insurances for ABA/behavior mod providers. But like anything else, it depends on which place you go to. There is a local provider which was nothing like playtime for my ds. The Orlando provider was a much different experience.

Short term maybe check out some ABA books, behavior mod books.

(((hugs)))

 

I'll have to look into it. After Feb. 1st we should be back on the right track again, medical wise.

[heart'sjoy]

Not being drawn in works here too.

 

We also use a "safety room" (my word) where ds can go until he's ready to problem solve about the situation. For us it's my bathroom. Often when I come in he's still too angry to be respectful. I say, " I'll be back in 5 minutes." He knows now I won't listen till he's calmed down. Sometimes it takes 3-4 times before he's calmed down. I usually let him talk first, and try to repeat back to him what I hear is his concern. I don't always get what he needs and he gets upset when I don't immediately understand. Then I get to express my concern, usually x house rule was broken. I keep it to 2-3 sentences. He sometimes proposes a consequence usually there is already one that's been discussed and he knew ahead of time.

 

I get the final decision, but my biggest goal for ds right now is that he can calm himself down and participate in problem solving until things are resolved.

 

http://www.livesinthebalance.org/ Some of the above came from this problem solving website for explosive kids.

:grouphug:

[justamouse]

--Just my opinion---

 

Sometimes it's just because they are home.

 

IE, my FIL has Alzheimers. When we are visiting-he displays almost NONE of the *normal* behaviors he has while it is just him and MIL. He somehow knows he has to be *good* when other people are there. I think it's the same for ADHD kids, but the opposite. They are home. They are in their safety zone, their safe place and they forget that you cannot do ____. Don't forget that ADHD kids are about 3/4 years behind their peers as far as maturity.

 

 

:grouphug:

[Renee in NC]

--Just my opinion---

 

Sometimes it's just because they are home.

 

IE, my FIL has Alzheimers. When we are visiting-he displays almost NONE of the *normal* behaviors he has while it is just him and MIL. He somehow knows he has to be *good* when other people are there. I think it's the same for ADHD kids, but the opposite. They are home. They are in their safety zone, their safe place and they forget that you cannot do ____. Don't forget that ADHD kids are about 3/4 years behind their peers as far as maturity.

 

 

:grouphug:

 

This is true - it is a home thing only because he can let all that excess energy off (and it comes out through his temper more than actual physical activity.)

 

This morning, because I knew he would be sleeping a little late and would need to do his homework when he got up, I woke him at 6am and gave him his meds and then let him sleep until 7:15am. He still irritated his brother, made annoying noises, etc. It isn't a med thing or an ADD thing - it's an annoy your brother thing!:lol: