Again...need advice

[femke]

I need help. I really feel like I made a lot of mistakes regarding my son. I feel like I'm letting him go to slow, but the curriculum he's using is SLOW! I wanted something that was christian and gentle...well I got it...and I have a boy who lost his enthousiasm. He does it without complaining, but he lost that spark... I need something that stays interesting in the long run. I keep buying things and it's driving me crazy...and my purse! I also feel that he can do much more than that I'm letting him. I felt like: This is what we have, this is what we'll do. He is getting worse in his behaviour, but I think this is because of him being bored. When things are new, and interesting he is such a well behaved boy. I read the stories here on the board from birth onwards and I think: That's him! But than I read that those children were reading very early and doing math at 2 etc. I never offered him changes to do this. Yes he did some on his fingers when he learned about numbers, and he figured out himself that he could add them and subtract them. But I never offered him anything, because I didn't see it!! It was after I gave him the preschool curriculum (that I was planning to use for 2 years :blushing:), which he gobbled up in 3 months time, that I realized that all the 'strange' behaviour could easily be giftedness. I put him into MEP R and after that I've tried MEP 1 but I'm really not a math teacher. We did half of Word Mastery and it went well. But he started to complain that it was boring. We're now using CLE for LA, Reading and MATH....poor choice. It's working, and I love it, he loves the stories, he does it willingly. But I feel that he could have been in grade 2 with reading if I would have just let him. Or if we kept using Word Mastery dispite complains. CLE was like starting all over again with the difference that it includes writing. I had some problems with math. I got some responds on this board, of him being so young etc. and just to let him play and be a child. That's my problem, he likes it...for 10 minutes, and than his brain needs something to chew on!

But after I gave him an abacus things have changed tremendously and he has been teaching himself with the abacus. You see...I'm not a mathy person, and teaching it...:w00t: I want to, I just don't know how. I was thinking of EGPY grade 1, but Dh thinks it's too expensive. Also the question of having him tested or not has been keeping us busy. What if he really was far more intelligent than we think...we'd be doing the wrong thing keeping him in CLE. He loves doing it, as it keeps him busy, but I see a difference in him when he has something new to chew on. I gave him the game 'Rush Hour' which he loved, and for 2 days he has been behaving sooooo well. Today we did CLE again and the jumping around and silly noises started again. I'm fine with silly noises, don't get me wrong if that's what he is like. But why doesn't he do that within the 2 hours after his brain had something to chew on. The only time he doesn't wiggle at all is when I read a book to him. We though he might have ADHD, and almost started the process of having him tested, but thank you well-trained mind forum :D I'm sooo glad we didn't go that route.

 

Sorry for rambling on about this. I just need good advice. I'm tired of spending money. I can tell that I'm not doing the right thing with Ds right now. I really don't want to buy anything new, and don't think that's the solution right now. It's really hard for me to gain information on this as English is not my mother language. Please help. I want to do the right thing for my son.

[Greenmama2]

If he seems to learn best when you read aloud then read aloud. You can cover pretty much everything that way. If your younger child makes it hard to read ad much as your Older would like (mine does) look into audio books for him

[Embassy]

If he seems to learn best when you read aloud then read aloud. You can cover pretty much everything that way.

 

I agree. Follow his lead. Reading aloud is a great way to learn. Even with math - look here for living math books.

[regentrude]

I need to ask: are you talking about your THREE year old?

I think at that age there is plenty you can do to stimulate and challenge him without using any expensive curriculum at all. (I come from a different country and it would honestly never have occurred to me to formally school my 3 y/o.) Not using formal curricula is NOT the same thing as letting you child aimlessly play without stimulation. And some of these curricula can actually be pretty boring.

You say he loves to be read to: that is wonderful. And a very age appropriate way to receive information. If you can't manage too much reading: my kids always loved audiobooks. They are great for vocabulary development, for early exposure to great books, for learning about non-fiction topics. (My children have NEVER done any formal vocabulary work, their immense vocabulary has developed solely through reading and listening to books on CD.)

Another thought I have: being bored is not a totally bad thing - kids need to learn how to entertain themselves. I would feed his interests: like giving him the abacus- he will have a great time teaching himself and intuitively discovering things about math - WITHOUT any workbooks, structured lessons etc. Often these independent discoveries make a child more excited and make him retain better.

One thing you might want to consider is if you would like him to learn to play an instrument (if that is something he is interested in). He might be able to channel his energies into that, and it would provide him with stimulation and activity.

One way to keep my gifted children stimulated at that age was to involve them into all kinds of activities that I enjoyed. They have been to museums, concerts, theaters, hikes, rock climbing since they were infants. We kept a running commentary about everything. We also incorporated a LOT of outdoor activity every single day, rain or shine.

 

So, what I'm saying is: maybe you could try to explore completely other directions and abandon any "curriculum" for now.

[femke]

Thank you for replying. Yes it's the 3 year old. He loves doing things on paper, and he likes doing curriculum. He also loves reading. I'm trying to get a good combination of that. As soon as I try to do things more losely, just 'discover', he doesn't seem to like it that much. He gobbles up workbooks/textbooks. So that is really not the point, it's his way of learning. I have living math books, they're nice for reading aloud, but they are not enough for him. He wants to go deeper, KWIM? I can't keep buying them, so that he can read them for 10 minutes, and than to have them standing in our bookcase. Library is not an option.

An instrument sounds great, but again...costs a lot of money, something to keep in mind for his birthday maybe.

[Embassy]

Take this with a grain of salt since I don't know you or your child. It seems as though you are concerned because he isn't progressing as fast as other children you have read about. Gifted children are so very different and (dare I say) that they don't achieve early skills because they were taught with the right curriculum. I think if you ask parents of gifted children you will find that their children learned to read at 2 because the child figured it out for himself. Not all gifted children learn to read early either. Some even learn to read later than average.

 

I also noticed that you reported your son loved the abacus and the game Rush Hour and you reported that he taught himself math that way. That may be the way to go for now. Provide him with manipulative and math games and let him explore. As for reading - just read to him. Don't worry if he isn't reading like other children. He will read when he is ready. Spend time exploring nature, going to parks and take field trips around your community. There is so much fun to be had in the preschool years. Realize that learning isn't relegated to the pages of a workbook or a specific curriculum. Learning by playing is an important part of childhood. Research shows that children benefit cognitively when they engage in extended play sequences. Doris Bergen said this

The press for "academic readiness" through concentrated and direct teaching of alphabet, number, color, and other skills is now affecting the amount of time allocated for play in preschools. This trend has had a negative effect on social pretend play, which requires extended uninterrupted time periods to develop complexity...

there is a growing body of evidence supporting the many connections between cognitive competence and high-quality pretend play. If children lack opportunities to experience such play, their long-term capacities related to metacognition, problem solving, and social cognition, as well as to academic areas such as literacy, mathematics, and science, may be diminished.

You can read the whole study here.

 

So in short, there is a reason why people say - just let him play. Play is important. It doesn't neglect learning - it is learning. It sounds like books hold his attention, but not much else. I might try working with him to extend his play sequences rather than trying to find the right curriculum.

Edited January 14, 2011 by Wehomeschool

[cmb6]

I also have a kid who needs structure (meaning, a systematic, analytical approach) but wilts if the difficulty level is even a tiny bit off in any direction. So far (DS is six) it is working for us to trust him on when he has mastered something and wants to move forward.

 

I am learning that we can't use a full curriculum, or even really a single program, the way it is intended. But the good thing is there is a lot out there that you can get that's just the smaller pieces your kid wants and needs to learn, and then move on to something else. Not a giant handwriting program, but just a single $10 HWT workbook for cursive, and that's it. When he finishes, we'll move on to copywork from history books and novels. For math, we do Singapore, which is cheap if you ONLY get the text and supplement with library books--not just stories, but things like a biography of Fibonacci, online worksheets for lattice multiplication and Russian peasant multiplication, library books on historical aspects of math, playing around with binary... check out books by Theoni Pappas, G is for Googol... these things would not be enough by themselves for my son, but they are great to supplement. Maybe for your DS, too. They do move fast, but after a while you get a feel for how much you need to invest in the present stage--you just kind of spend what you need (time and energy both) to fill the child's immediate need, and then you reassess.

 

It's like that line about writing--the headlights don't show you the whole way home. They just show you the next little piece of road--but that's all you need. This is what works for us, anyway. It would be more comfortable to plan further ahead, but for us one of the main points of homeschooling, which would be lost if I planned a year at a time, is being able to meet DS where he actually is.

 

Heather

[femke]

Take this with a grain of salt since I don't know you or your child. It seems as though you are concerned because he isn't progressing as fast as other children you have read about. Gifted children are so very different and (dare I say) that they don't achieve early skills because they were taught with the right curriculum. I think if you ask parents of gifted children you will find that their children learned to read at 2 because the child figured it out for himself. Not all gifted children learn to read early either. Some even learn to read later than average.

 

I also noticed that you reported your son loved the abacus and the game Rush Hour and you reported that he taught himself math that way. That may be the way to go for now. Provide him with manipulative and math games and let him explore. As for reading - just read to him. Don't worry if he isn't reading like other children. He will read when he is ready. Spend time exploring nature, going to parks and take field trips around your community. There is so much fun to be had in the preschool years. Realize that learning isn't relegated to the pages of a workbook or a specific curriculum. Learning by playing is an important part of childhood. Research shows that children benefit cognitively when they engage in extended play sequences. Doris Bergen said this

 

You can read the whole study here.

 

So in short, there is a reason why people say - just let him play. Play is important. It doesn't neglect learning - it is learning. It sounds like books hold his attention, but not much else. I might try working with him to extend his play sequences rather than trying to find the right curriculum.

 

Hi,

 

No I'm not worried about him progressing to slow, he's progressing so fast. If he goes on like this he'll be in grade 2 material before the age of 4. It's that I feel bad about myself, for not have given him these opportunities before. I only found out about this when I gave him the preschool material. All the signs were there, I just didn't see it.

My problem is: he doesn't really like play that much. Yes he likes Rush Hour and his LEGO's but nothing gives him more satisfaction than a textbook/workbook, and also books. I just don't know what to use, I can't keep buying things, curriculum, books. A walk is great, but after that he just wants to sit down and study. I need advice on what to do, what to use. This is all new to me. My younger son is sooo different, he can play for hours (and sleep for hours). My eldest never slept as a baby during the day and wasn't able to play by himself. He can't play with toys longer than 5 minutes. Only books and workbooks do that. He can go on for hours in those.

Edited January 14, 2011 by femke

[femke]

I also have a kid who needs structure (meaning, a systematic, analytical approach) but wilts if the difficulty level is even a tiny bit off in any direction. So far (DS is six) it is working for us to trust him on when he has mastered something and wants to move forward.

 

I am learning that we can't use a full curriculum, or even really a single program, the way it is intended. But the good thing is there is a lot out there that you can get that's just the smaller pieces your kid wants and needs to learn, and then move on to something else. Not a giant handwriting program, but just a single $10 HWT workbook for cursive, and that's it. When he finishes, we'll move on to copywork from history books and novels. For math, we do Singapore, which is cheap if you ONLY get the text and supplement with library books--not just stories, but things like a biography of Fibonacci, online worksheets for lattice multiplication and Russian peasant multiplication, library books on historical aspects of math, playing around with binary... check out books by Theoni Pappas, G is for Googol... these things would not be enough by themselves for my son, but they are great to supplement. Maybe for your DS, too. They do move fast, but after a while you get a feel for how much you need to invest in the present stage--you just kind of spend what you need (time and energy both) to fill the child's immediate need, and then you reassess.

 

It's like that line about writing--the headlights don't show you the whole way home. They just show you the next little piece of road--but that's all you need. This is what works for us, anyway. It would be more comfortable to plan further ahead, but for us one of the main points of homeschooling, which would be lost if I planned a year at a time, is being able to meet DS where he actually is.

 

Heather

 

Our library is hopeless, so I have to buy all the books we read. I guess moving to a cheaper curriculum for math gives me more money to buy books. Singapore is a lot cheaper than CLE. I'll consider that!

[Storm Bay]

I need to ask: are you talking about your THREE year old?

I think at that age there is plenty you can do to stimulate and challenge him without using any expensive curriculum at all. (I come from a different country and it would honestly never have occurred to me to formally school my 3 y/o.) Not using formal curricula is NOT the same thing as letting you child aimlessly play without stimulation. And some of these curricula can actually be pretty boring.

You say he loves to be read to: that is wonderful. And a very age appropriate way to receive information. If you can't manage too much reading: my kids always loved audiobooks. They are great for vocabulary development, for early exposure to great books, for learning about non-fiction topics. (My children have NEVER done any formal vocabulary work, their immense vocabulary has developed solely through reading and listening to books on CD.)

Another thought I have: being bored is not a totally bad thing - kids need to learn how to entertain themselves. I would feed his interests: like giving him the abacus- he will have a great time teaching himself and intuitively discovering things about math - WITHOUT any workbooks, structured lessons etc. Often these independent discoveries make a child more excited and make him retain better.

One thing you might want to consider is if you would like him to learn to play an instrument (if that is something he is interested in). He might be able to channel his energies into that, and it would provide him with stimulation and activity.

One way to keep my gifted children stimulated at that age was to involve them into all kinds of activities that I enjoyed. They have been to museums, concerts, theaters, hikes, rock climbing since they were infants. We kept a running commentary about everything. We also incorporated a LOT of outdoor activity every single day, rain or shine.

 

So, what I'm saying is: maybe you could try to explore completely other directions and abandon any "curriculum" for now.

:iagree: with all of this, and now I don't have to type any of it myself.

[Storm Bay]

Hi,

 

No I'm not worried about him progressing to slow, he's progressing so fast. If he goes on like this he'll be in grade 2 material before the age of 4. It's that I feel bad about myself, for not have given him these opportunities before. I only found out about this when I gave him the preschool material. All the signs were there, I just didn't see it.

My problem is: he doesn't really like play that much. Yes he likes Rush Hour and his LEGO's but nothing gives him more satisfaction than a textbook/workbook, and also books. I just don't know what to use, I can't keep buying things, curriculum, books. A walk is great, but after that he just wants to sit down and study. I need advice on what to do, what to use. This is all new to me. My younger son is sooo different, he can play for hours (and sleep for hours). My eldest never slept as a baby during the day and wasn't able to play by himself. He can't play with toys longer than 5 minutes. Only books and workbooks do that. He can go on for hours in those.

 

Go to the library and get a lot of things there to follow his interests. I spent a good deal of time with physics books for my ds when he was preschool age.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

Your son sounds a lot like my ds except that he's not a workbook/textbook kind of guy. He didn't sleep much as an infant and didn't really play with toys (my oldest doesn't either). He needs to stay engaged or he makes trouble. Reading books, science exploration, time outside, and household activities are all great for him. He helps me with my chores and one of his favorite things to do is to help me bake. Something that is super important for him is to have a good daily routine. He is happy knowing that reading time, outside time, baking, etc. is coming and this helps to get him through the things he doesn't like as well. I have also noticed that, as far as academics go, I can't really use most curricula as they are intended. They just don't engage him and when he's not engaged he won't learn anything and his behavior will not be good. I'm busy with my four littles so I'm not able to devote the time to him that he or I would like, but things that we've had good luck with are:

 

MEP Reception (Even though the math skills are too easy for him, the puzzles keep it challenging.)

 

Montessori-style language arts (Very hands-on and interactive. I used this approach with my oldest as well and love the word building approach to reading and spelling.)

 

Handwriting Without Tears Pre-k

 

Sandbox Scientist (This book has many ideas for "explorer kits" for mom to put together. The kids then use the materials and explore, learning about how things work as they go. There is also info for mom about the science behind the activities.)

 

My suggestion would be to find a good routine for your days. Ours is based around eating and resting times. Everything else is put in around those things. Include a time or two each day for book work, but make sure that he is learning about his world in other ways, too.

 

If he doesn't enjoy going outside, you could involve him in activities when you are out. The Kids' Nature Book has lots of great ideas for things to do based on the seasons. We also enjoy Preschool Art for seasonal art activities, some of which use objects gathered outside. We also enjoy looking at field guides when we come inside. DS has identified several bugs and other things by himself just by doing this. Some other favorite books are Fun With Nature and More Fun With Nature. If you don't have access to a good library a set of children's science encyclopedias would be great. If you have more money to spend, the Lets-Read-and-Find-Out series is wonderful, too.

 

HTH

[MSNative]

Your son sounds a lot like my ds except that he's not a workbook/textbook kind of guy. He didn't sleep much as an infant and didn't really play with toys (my oldest doesn't either). He needs to stay engaged or he makes trouble. Reading books, science exploration, time outside, and household activities are all great for him. He helps me with my chores and one of his favorite things to do is to help me bake. Something that is super important for him is to have a good daily routine. He is happy knowing that reading time, outside time, baking, etc. is coming and this helps to get him through the things he doesn't like as well. I have also noticed that, as far as academics go, I can't really use most curricula as they are intended. They just don't engage him and when he's not engaged he won't learn anything and his behavior will not be good. I'm busy with my four littles so I'm not able to devote the time to him that he or I would like, but things that we've had good luck with are:

 

MEP Reception (Even though the math skills are too easy for him, the puzzles keep it challenging.)

 

Montessori-style language arts (Very hands-on and interactive. I used this approach with my oldest as well and love the word building approach to reading and spelling.)

 

Handwriting Without Tears Pre-k

 

Sandbox Scientist (This book has many ideas for "explorer kits" for mom to put together. The kids then use the materials and explore, learning about how things work as they go. There is also info for mom about the science behind the activities.)

 

My suggestion would be to find a good routine for your days. Ours is based around eating and resting times. Everything else is put in around those things. Include a time or two each day for book work, but make sure that he is learning about his world in other ways, too.

 

If he doesn't enjoy going outside, you could involve him in activities when you are out. The Kids' Nature Book has lots of great ideas for things to do based on the seasons. We also enjoy Preschool Art for seasonal art activities, some of which use objects gathered outside. We also enjoy looking at field guides when we come inside. DS has identified several bugs and other things by himself just by doing this. Some other favorite books are Fun With Nature and More Fun With Nature. If you don't have access to a good library a set of children's science encyclopedias would be great. If you have more money to spend, the Lets-Read-and-Find-Out series is wonderful, too.

 

HTH

:iagree:

 

I agree with this post - especially the bolded. :) I broke down and got a curriculum for my 3yo, too, because he loved having the structure. We also use lapbooks from homeschoolshare.com. They are free and fun! We do lots of hands on exploration - letter and number beads, cuisenaire rods, math u see blocks, marble runs, geo boards, peg stackers, dry erase boards, chalkboards, arts and crafts, etc.

 

The suggestion to have your child do chores with you is great, too. My son takes great pride in be a "good helper." He can do lots of chores, too - helping unload the dishwasher, laundry, setting the table, making the bed, dusting, wiping, windows. The quality leaves a lot to be desired, but it's getting better and he enjoys it.

 

To your main point - don't feel bad at all. Sounds like your son is learning and exploring. You didn't hold him back because you didn't offer him more at age 2. You're feeding his brain now. Plus, I think his getting bored with what you're doing with him will probably be a constant problem. :) I have started using a workbox style system with mine. I have 5 boxes and put about 5 diff. activities in each box. When I do school with the older boys, I pull out his box for him. Seems to help a bit.

 

 

Good luck and just enjoy him.