Help for a friend trying to wean her 18 month old...

[Dianne-TX]

I have a friend who is trying to wean her 18 month old. He won't drink from a cup and she's tried lots of different fluids. She isn't making much BM anymore and she is getting concerned that he isn't getting enough fluids. Any suggestions to pass along to her? Thanks.

[NanceXToo]

Has she tried different kinds of cups? Some kids of that age will do better with a straw cup than a regular cup or sippy cup. Either a real straw, or one of those sippy cups that has a straw sipper.

 

If she really needs a brief transition period they make something called a breast bottle, she could look that up- I know most people wouldn't want to give a bottle to a kid that age but like I said if she needs something to help with the transition, that might do it.

 

Has she tried leaving the house and having someone else try offering him the cup? Maybe he just won't accept it from her.

[Sherry in OH]

My children refused sippy cups. They went directly to straws.

 

Have someone other than mommy trap some water or juice in a straw (put finger on top of straw) and release it into the child's mouth. After a few times of this offer the cup and straw to the child.

[....]

I'm embarrassed to say this, but we just weaned the 3 yro from the bottle this week. I completely feel for your friend. It's been a week like no other...:tongue_smilie: We stopped cold turkey about 4 days ago. ? I did go to the store and buy her a "special cup". I told her that we were going to give away the bottles. I made her watch me while I removed the bottles from the house and told her they couldn't come back. Everything was OK - she thought it was a game - until she wanted a bottle later that day. She cried. In fact, she has been asking for a bottle consistently until yesterday. She stopped asking yesterday.

 

Oh, yeah, I also bought chocolate syrup (I know it's not the healthiest) and I let HER make a cup of chocolate milk when she wanted a bottle- she got to stir it, pour in the syrup, etc. This seemed to be exciting enough for her.

 

As far as dehydration - YES! My daughter did not drink enough the first couple of days. They are just so darn stubborn. Your friend has just really got to be offering drinks all day. I was trying to make the drinks exciting. :glare:

 

So, this might be Day 4 or Day 5 and my daughter's not asking for the bottle anymore. I think we're over the hump. I've noticed that she's been eating more food now, too. I also think the older the baby is, the harder it is to take the bottle away or wean them. Unfortunately, you'd think it was the other way around.

 

Good luck to your friend! What a rough week!!! Tell her I'm in the same boat (which seems like the Titanic). :tongue_smilie:

[Jen in PA]

He might be getting a lot more of his liquid needs met by eating solid foods at this point. I know with DS he seemed to nurse for shorter periods around that point and I figured the water content in food was the likely reason.

[Melissa in Australia]

I agree about the liquid in food.

If she is very concerned about him not getting enough liquid, then she could give him food like jelly ( I think called jello there) and juicy fruit like watermelon. That is what they do with elderly people who refuse to drink.

[HS Mom in NC]

Is your friend wanting to wean because she wants to be done nursing, or is she just wanting to increase fluids and thinks weaning is the only way to do that?

 

I nursed my children until they were preschoolers. I attended one of the very few LLL meetings that catered to mothers choosing to nurse beyond a year (most weaned around 3ish but some nursed to around 5 or 6.) Most of us nursed through pregnancy and tandem nursed a toddler/preschooler and an infant. There were a couple dozen moms in the group.

 

Some thoughts about your post:

 

1. Many children return to a newborn nursing pattern around 18 mos-2.5 years. It's really common and usually happens over night. IT doesn't last forever.

 

2. Does your friend know they symptoms of dehydration? She can look them up. If the child is not dehydrated there's nothing to worry about. The experience of the average American with a child nursing after age 1 is usually VERY limited, so she should be careful who she listens to. (This would include peds who have little to no training that is medically on breastfeeding.)

 

3. If the child is actually showing signs of dehydration, it may be a nursing phase issue. Since so few Americans nurse their children long term, they may be unfamiliar with the idea of limiting nursing. It's perfectly appropriate to nurse an infant on demand. It's not for a toddler. She may need to start doing things like:

 

a) Limit nursing by saying, "You can nurse for 2 ABC songs" and then when mom is done singing the two songs to him she engages the child in something else of interest.

 

b) Limit nursing to a few times a day (bedtime nursing is usually the last to go.)

 

c) Limit nursing to after meals and drinks.

 

Limiting nursing is not a bump free ride. For some children it can be the first time mom has said, "No."

 

Nursing isn't just about milk. Most children nursed long term and through a younger sibling's pregnancy are getting very little milk. It's a bonding issue. Even the attachment therapist from our youngest child's adoption agency insists all adopted children, regardless of age, be returned to the bottle to bond with their new parents. (The children she helped with were in the 3 and under category.)