Dress for children's preschool volunteer at church?

[tangomoon]

This is one of those topics that has the potential for heatedness, but I'm trying to ask from a spirit of wanting to balance a hard situation. I personally can see arguments for both sides.

 

There is a young mom at our church who volunteers in the children's area who for the past couple weeks has come wearing workout clothes - tight spandex leggings and spaghetti strap tank. While we've never been heavy on dress code expectations, I'm getting the sense that there is an unwritten line that she has crossed. She has recently lost a lot of weight, and as the weight has come off, so has some of the coverage.

 

Is there a general expectation for more modest clothing as an adult in charge of children versus just an attender? Is this something that bears being brought up, or just :chillpill:?

[NanceXToo]

Would *I* wear something like that? Heck, no.

 

Would I be concerned that it was going to have some sort of adverse effect on the preschoolers? Nah. (I'd be more concerned if it were a youth group with teen and preteens lol).

 

You'd think she'd have a little more common sense about what's appropriate but some people just don't. Is it possible she comes straight from working out or something and just doesn't think about it?

 

I mean, I guess someone COULD say something to her but that would be so awkward and to me just not worth it, especially if she's good with the kids and causes no problems in any other ways. So personally I'd probably give my eyes a little roll (internally) and keep my mouth shut. It'd be a case of 'pick your battles' for me.

[BigMamaBird]

I know when I personally work in the children's department I make sure to wear jeans since I'll be down on the floor with the kids. I also make sure to wear a top that won't gap at the neckline if I'm bending over a lot and something that will stay put when yanked on by busy little hands. I dress for utility and am usually much more casual than my regular church wear.

 

That said, I think that skin tight clothing is inappropriate. Spaghetti straps will get yanked and spandex is just a bad idea for church. By all means, dress down, but keep covered.

[Kathleen in VA]

Is this a Sunday preschool program or a during the week kind of a program? Personally, either way, I wouldn't wear spandex and spaghetti straps no matter now svelte I looked. But if it's during the week, she may just be thinking of being able to move around easily. Working with little ones is aerobic exercise imo. Oh, and if she's just lost the weight, maybe she hasn't had the time or money to replenish her wardrobe with clothes that fit. That said, she really ought to rethink her attire and opt for jeans and a comfy modest shirt. Would I have the guts to tell her that? Probably not.

 

When I worked for a preschool program the center had a dress code. Dress codes are very helpful in that they make the whole topic impersonal.

[mytwomonkeys]

honestly, i'd have to see the outfit to form an opinion. i'm sure she thinks it's just casual. are you the children's coordinator? if yes, you could create guidelines that ensure proper dress code. at our church, we wear specific t-shirts (with our kid city logo). the t-shirt is to help us with safety, so it's visibly clear who is allowed in the classrooms and on the kid city hallway. *but* it also helps with proper dress code. we have a lot of teen helpers, and even with fitted pants on, the t-shirt is so modest, it just doesn't come across as revealing whatsoever. anyway...just a thought.

[lionfamily1999]

I think this falls under the NT sop. Approach her and let her know that her clothing choice is causing a stumbling block for you. There's a good chance that either she has a great excuse or else she has no idea that her new clothes are concerning some of the other parents.

[HayesW]

Maybe make or buy some big cotton smocks, or scrub tops for everyone to wear. To keep their clothes clean, ya know.

[Chris in VA]

I think she's just thinking "comfortable," and modesty isn't on her radar. In preschool, it's no biggie--if it were with teens, then yes, I'd have someone approach the whole staff of the preschool and just go over appropriate dress.

 

This happened where I taught for a couple of years. We had some college students from SMU come over in the afternoons to work a few hours. The rest of us were in our 30's-60's. They'd come in all sorts of "casual" clothes.

The admin sent out a memo reminding us not to wear our Daisy Dukes when the weather got warmer--We all had a good laugh over that one!