Survey? You've GOT to be kidding me. NOW they care about my "experience"?

[MamaSheep]

This is a rant. I warn you up front. I must vent somewhere. I got a !@#$ survey in the mail from the !@#$ foster care "people" (or rather an independent contractor thereof) yesterday. They are surveying people who have decided within the last two years not to renew their foster care licenses. They want to know about my "experience" as a foster parent, and what made me decide not to continue providing that service, and how they can improve. Just looking at the !@#$ thing makes me want to swear and scream and throw things--all of which are completely out of character for me. Three years of being jerked around by rude, dishonest, condescending, judgmental idiots who made me feel like dirt on a regular basis, and NOW they "CARE" about my "experience"? You have GOT to be !@#$ kidding me.

[MamaSheep]

And the really sad thing is we'll probably go back for more in a couple of years when we've recovered a bit, because we really do want to adopt an older child.

[MamaSheep]

Send in those two sentences. Seriously. That sums it up, right? It should clear up any confusion on their part.

 

Truly, someone at the top only sees the numbers "faster parents are bailing" and doesn't realize it is because of the workers they have interfacing with those foster parents. The guy with power to change things can't change it unless he knows the score. Let 'em have it with both barrels. Then, maybe, when you go back to get that next child there is a tiny chance something will be better.

:grouphug:

 

Well I sat down and filled it out. It asks all the wrong questions. (Of course.) I will be attaching a page, in the hopes that someone might actually read it. It's a feeble hope, but hope springs eternal. It's not just the people, although they are a huge part of it. The whole system is just broken. In SO many ways. The system is set up to discourage people from becoming foster parents, and then to abuse them once they bite the bullet and wade through all the mess to get there. And it's certainly not set up to make it easy to place a child in a home. They do at least TRY to provide some level of support once the child is IN the home--assuming you can figure out how to fill out the proper forms. I did think that after I calm down a little I will attempt to write up some constructive suggestions, because whether or not we go back again, it needs to get better. The kids need it to be better, and their parents need it to be better--ALL of their parents, birth, foster, adoptive--all of them need it to be better. The system drives people crazy, and crazy people can not help the kids.

 

One thing that scares me about it is that our state is supposedly a model of the "right" way to do things, and and administrators from other states that are even more broken come here to find out how to improve things. These poor kids go from being at the mercy of dysfunctional parents to being at the mercy of a dysfunctional system.

[Heatherwith4]

:grouphug:

[Caitilin]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[CoastalGal]

:grouphug:

 

We've been providing respite care for 2 foster children one weekend/month for about 6 months...kind of getting our feet wet...trying to decide if we want to adopt or not.

 

I don't know how people do it long-term...the only face-to-face contact I've had with a DHS worker makes me want to :ack2: :banghead:...to say that the system is "broken" is an understatement.

 

My hat is off to you...

[Spryte]

Oh my.

 

MamaSheep... I'm new here. I don't know your story. But your post is scaring me.

 

We are just finishing up our home study to be foster parents! Eek.

[mommaduck]

:grouphug:

[MamaSheep]

Oh my.

 

MamaSheep... I'm new here. I don't know your story. But your post is scaring me.

 

We are just finishing up our home study to be foster parents! Eek.

 

I'm sorry. I don't mean to do that. Not everyone has the same factors in their lives that have contributed to our frustrations. For example, we have had issues with people who make assumptions about our family because we have two special needs biological children already.

 

It can be frustrating, but for many families it is definitely worth it. I have a good friend who has adopted three adorable children through DCFS in three separate adoptions. Each of the adoptions had its problems, but they are such a sweet family. Other families we know who have fostered have had much better experiences than we did as well. I really think that most of the people in the system at least operate with the intention to help the kids, and if you work with them they will work with you. Most of the time the caseworkers are just as frustrated with the situation as you are. One of the hard things about the system is that it operates with situations where there is no "good" solution, because the "good" solution is for the kids' birth families not to have problems in the first place. So it's a bunch of imperfect people trying to work miracles with insufficient staffing, insufficient funding, and weird laws made up by people who have never tried to make such a system function. There really is a need for more sane people to get involved. I am glad to know there are other people ready to step up to the plate during a time I need to step away for a while and regain perspective. Bless you.

[RanchGirl]

I think I understand your frustration. We are former foster parents too. The only thing worse than the hideous treatment the foster parents receive at the hands of those "trained professionals" was the long lasting damage they inflicted on the children entrusted to their oversight. It was horrifying. I am still grieving the whole process.