Anxious mom...

[Pamela H in Texas]

Okay, so the way I came up with this parenting decision may have been slightly lacking.

 

The boys (my ds15 and the neighbor fosterkid15) decided to climb the mountain behind us. FK15 told me he's done this many times. His fosterdad knew they were leaving and even advised my ds to wear long sleeves. FK15 did mention he rarely comes out exactly where he plans to; but obviously, since he's 15 and has lived here for years, he always makes it out.

 

Honestly, it sounded like fun to me. But now that my hubby is going to be home any second, I'm a little less sure about my method of deciding to let ds15 do this. But seriously, how does a mother with a heart-tendency of being overprotective make such a decision in an area she knows NOTHING about. I mean, we've never climbed mountains or been in a very wooded area before. And what DO two boys in a VERY rural area do other than throw footballs and play basketball? FK15 seems to run some laps on our road (short dead end) and explore the land a bit.

 

And surely these parents who have an extra responsibility since he isn't their kid....and they are older than me too...and their biokids are older than mine....and I get the idea they've lived around here forever and a half....

 

But it's starting to get darker. And hubby just pulled up. And....

 

Just venting! Hope they get home soon!

[Osmosis Mom]

Don't blame you for letting them take off, but please update when ds gets back home.

[Lara in Colo]

Relax, breathe in and out, at times like these I remind myself that I gave that child to God and He takes care of him when I cannot.

 

Lara

[Pamela H in Texas]

Hubby is home. He isn't too worried.

[Jennifer in MI]

Good. I'm glad to hear your dh isn't too worried. I've never lived in an area ilke yours, so I can't imagine this. But, it sounds like fun!!!!

 

Please do update when he gets home!

[Old Dominion Heather]

I'm sure they will be fine. Your son will probably be so pleased that you trusted them to be able to do this!

[Pamela H in Texas]

Okay, so after seven, I started getting worried. Hubby and I stood in the street a minute staring up the part of the mountain that FK said he comes down. Then we went back towards the house and I stared up the part that they went up. We thought we heard a sound or two thinking that meant they were alive :)

 

Anyway, so finally the come down a couple minutes ago.

 

DS is very happy. I'm glad I let them go. I'm glad he's home too! It's now dark and they've been back 10 minutes. WOW!

 

Oh, FK said that they, fairly recently, blew the top off this mountain; but he doesn't think they are working it anymore. DS brought down some coal.

[Osmosis Mom]

Good to hear. Probably more adventure than what I would be looking for, but then I am not a 15 yo boy....

[Guest CarolineUK]

Sounds just like the sort of thing I adored doing at that age, and younger, such happy memories. :001_smile: DH, however, has a lot of experience mountaineering here in Scotland and Wales, and of taking kids out (Duke of Edindburgh scheme), and would have probably insisted on doing a risk assessment beforehand, overkill maybe, but he's a worrier :rolleyes:.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Yeah, the only thing we've decided is that he has to wear one of dad's old work shirts which will be better able to handle the thorns and such up there. He probably should wear a cap also. DS's shirt (btw, new) took a bit of a beating coming down the mountatin. And the kid next door had to dislodge a thorn from his head.

 

And they want to do this again! LOL

 

They said it'd be better if they could come down the way they come up, but there seems to be some reason why that isn't so easy. It's also MUCH slower. Maybe they could explore options on a weekend (and while having two-way radios to an adult).

 

Caroline, I am a little worried about the risks. First, we *know* there are snakes and bears. I don't think a deer would do anything, even a scared buck, other than run. Second, I'm getting mixed messages about whether this mountain is being worked. I *know* my son will stop going up there if someone tells them they aren't welcome; but I don't like the idea of them running into men. Third, then there are issues like hunters and trappers. Please don't shoot my kid or let my kid step in a bear trap or something. Maybe I've been watching too much tv. But TV could be a good thing as then I watch Little House where pretty little kids went down to fish and walked to school alone and and and...

 

The kid is 15 and he wants to do hard things. He's so HAPPY the last several days hanging out with J (neighbor kid). He came in one days saying that J and he didn't have anything in common outlining the differences. He says this after they hung out several hours. I suggested maybe they could start liking what the other likes. And so far, J seems to be a good influence on ds for the most part (and we all overlook a thing or two about J, isn't that what people do with neighbors, friends, etc anyway?).

 

Some mixed musings of a mom WAY out of her element.

Edited October 7, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Guest CarolineUK]

Oh, wow, bears :w00t:. Not a problem in this part of the world :lol: I might just challenge DH to come up with some advice on that one. I do think we are all encouraged to worry a bit too much by stories in the media when in reality the risks presented are probably miniscule. It sounds as though you have a good plan for checking out the potential problems that might arise.

 

As for J, if he's a good kid and they get on, then that's brilliant, I've never met a kid yet that hasn't had some quirk or other I've had to overlook, with some the overlooking has been a bit more of a challenge, of course :D.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Caroline, I *really* like this kid. He tells some tall tales (he'd be one of those who catches a 12 inch fish and claims it was "this big", more like 30 inches!), but that seems so minor for the most part. He's a bit cynical and definitely feels a victim in life, but he has good reason (there is a reason he's a FK)! He's not thrilled with the fostercare system, but he says he likes his family. But he has some goals which is good. I wish I knew French. He wants to learn but is struggling with it at school. I told him I could help him all day long in math, but don't know French. He's excited that I might teach in his classes sometimes (I signed up to substitute teach here and I have all my classroom hours for my degree to do this school year).

 

Anyway, sorry to ramble. I like this kid. I like that he and my ds are getting along so well. I like that they are doing interesting things.

[ktgrok]

I think he should be allowed to do it, but not this way. He needs to bring the basics, including a cell phone hopefully. But at the VERY minimum some water, a granola bar, and a minimal first aid kit and some matches. (I'm thinking an ace bandage would serve the purpose, it could be used in case of snake bite or sprain or bleeding). How long would it take an adult to get up there to help them if need be? Does he have a way to signal for help? (signal mirror, phone, etc). I would not let him do it again until he knows how to be safe and handle himself in the woods. If it was a 15 minute hike fine, but not if he is going to be gone for hours.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Thanks Katie!

 

The boys were gone about 2.5 hours yesterday and didn't make it to the top (but to where it was cleared a bit due to the blasting done earlier this year). It's quite a hike. They would have been longer if it wasn't getting dark (and even still, my son said he was hoping we weren't going to kill him...lol).

 

Hubby did say the boys should take the 2 way radios (cells don't work here; ours are forwarded to the house phone). I actually have a really little first aid kit with the very basics. Food and water make sense, of course.

 

J (neighbor boy) has, I believe, done this quite a bit. And he may have gone with his fosterdad in the past. The fosterdad is pretty involved (both parents are home and awake when the kids are home and awake). I guess what I'm saying is that I can't imagine my son going off by himself, but going with someone whose done this many times, I feel a bit better....at least until 7pm. LOL

 

But I do think it'd be good for them to have some basics. I mean, what IF one or both got hurt and it took MUCH longer to get down (or they couldn't safely)? Or what IF they got lost? Or what IF?

[ktgrok]

sounds like a good unit study :)

 

your son might enjoy reading Survive This by Les Stroud of Survivorman.

[specialmama]

I give you an "A", Pamela! Sounds like your boy is becoming a man! We have bears here too, and wolves, coyotes, etc. I agree about the 2-way radio or walkie-talkies. But as for quick and cheap things to take with them to scare bears, get him a Storm Whistle to wear around his neck and an air horn. An air horn is that can of compressed air with a slightly funnelled top. They'll scare a bear away and likely be heard from your house as well. We used to have an air horn call: 1 long 2 short, repeat, and that meant to call for help. All in all, once the bear safety is covered, I think these trips sound adventurous and fun!

[Pamela H in Texas]

Thanks Karyn. I was really worried about the bears. Boys seem to think they are invincible, but there is no doubt in my mind that a bear could do real damage if it were scared or upset enough.

 

He says he's VERY sore today :) He says they had already decided to pack a backpack next time so they'd have snacks and water and such. I told him about the first aid kit and getting an ACE bandage "just in case."

 

I'm going to have him do some research on snakes. From my own research, most will be harmless; but there are rattlers and a few other poisonous snakes he should know about also.

 

Boy, this just keeps getting better! Now he's excited about READING too! LOL

[Amy loves Bud]

Yeah, the only thing we've decided is that he has to wear one of dad's old work shirts which will be better able to handle the thorns and such up there. He probably should wear a cap also. DS's shirt (btw, new) took a bit of a beating coming down the mountatin. And the kid next door had to dislodge a thorn from his head.

 

And they want to do this again! LOL

 

They said it'd be better if they could come down the way they come up, but there seems to be some reason why that isn't so easy. It's also MUCH slower. Maybe they could explore options on a weekend (and while having two-way radios to an adult).

 

Caroline, I am a little worried about the risks. First, we *know* there are snakes and bears. I don't think a deer would do anything, even a scared buck, other than run. Second, I'm getting mixed messages about whether this mountain is being worked. I *know* my son will stop going up there if someone tells them they aren't welcome; but I don't like the idea of them running into men. Third, then there are issues like hunters and trappers. Please don't shoot my kid or let my kid step in a bear trap or something. Maybe I've been watching too much tv. But TV could be a good thing as then I watch Little House where pretty little kids went down to fish and walked to school alone and and and...

 

The kid is 15 and he wants to do hard things. He's so HAPPY the last several days hanging out with J (neighbor kid). He came in one days saying that J and he didn't have anything in common outlining the differences. He says this after they hung out several hours. I suggested maybe they could start liking what the other likes. And so far, J seems to be a good influence on ds for the most part (and we all overlook a thing or two about J, isn't that what people do with neighbors, friends, etc anyway?).

 

Some mixed musings of a mom WAY out of her element.

 

It sounds like your son has found a good friend and a healthy way try out some independence and new things. Hooray!

[specialmama]

Boy, this just keeps getting better! Now he's excited about READING too! LOL

 

:lol::lol::lol: That's awesome!!!:party:

[ktgrok]

Just make sure he is up to date on how to treat a snake bite. Do NOT cut into it, or try to suck out the venom. The ace bandage can be wrapped snugly around the area to compress the lymphatic system, but not so tight that it cuts off blood flow. The best thing to have in your snake bite kit is a set of car keys to drive to the hospital :)

[DaffodilDreams]

Of course, they're happy! They climbed a mountain. It's fun. Feels like a wild accomplishment in the realm of physical feats. Lots to do and see, too. My grandparents property contains half a mountain (one side all the way to the top), and my cousins and I would pack a lunch and spend the day on the mountain beginning much younger than your son. The only time my grandparents worried about us was during hunting season. Then, we either didn't go at all, or we had to wear nearly head to toe ugly, bright orange. Hunters aren't supposed to be on their property, but there's so much of it, chances are someone wanders on from time to time. And snakes in that area were just as much of a danger off the mountain as on, so that was nothing new. We probably had an innate sense of self-preservation given that we all pretty much grew up on that land. Most of us lived there at one time or another or at least stayed there during the summers and holidays.

 

I'm glad your son had fun and arrived home safely. I'd give anything to live near a mountain again. Oh, he probably should pack a few safety items next time, though. A flashlight with working batteries would be good in case he's up there after dark again. We always started out early morning, but we did bring a flashlight just in case. That, of course, was back in the days of no cell phones, though, so maybe we were more cautious because we knew there would be no way to get in touch with someone.

[ktgrok]

A fun quick read would be "my side of the mountain" if he hasn't read it before ;)

[holdoll]

I am amazed at how brave you are! My dh tells me I worry too much and should let the girls do this and let them do that. My heart seems to seize up when I say yes to something new, though I know I must. You got past the fear and let him go. Look at how awesome it turned out and how he'll be learning things he's excited about.

 

Maybe your DS and FK can also learn about topographical maps and how to read them? DH found them on the internet and used to bring them on hikes with us. Have them pack a compass and a whistle too.