Burnout and unschoolers

[Tohru]

My good friend and I both follow WTM Classical education method and were discussing burnout and then we were wondering if unschoolers ever get burnt out or if it's something else.

 

Has any one ever heard of unschooler burnout? Do they get burned out or ever feel inadequate with the education of their children? Any views/opinions/thoughts? Just curious and all ;)

[74Heaven]

From a very general standpoint, I think probably very few homeschoolers are "Militant Unschoolers". IOW, their schooling styles probably vary over the long run.

 

However, I'd also guess that people pass "in and out" of unschooling just as other homeschoolers pass "in and out" of traditional textbooks, school on DVD years and classical or eclectic ... Kind of a personal pendulum so to speak. I suppose the longer you homeschool, or the more kids you homeschool - the more you try different approaches.

 

I started out eclectic, became more traditional textbooks, then classical; a slight nod to DVD schooling; lately more of an eclectic / classical / reading/relaxed homeschooler. (ok, I'm not really all that relaxed!)

lisaj

[Jean in Newcastle]

My friend who homeschools in a child-led fashion (sort of unschooling but she does suggest things too for the child to consider) does get burned out. She gets burned out on some of her kid's passions (obsessions!) when she's ready to move on but they aren't. She gets burned out on some of the general busyness of days out and about.

 

I've heard her lament sometimes that her kids have not been doing as much productive things as she'd like at times (the opposite of her burn out times). But I asked her once if she ever felt like her kid's education might turn out to be inadequate - because I was feeling that way about mine at the time. Her answer was "no" because she had no goal for them - wherever they ended up was the goal. So it couldn't be inadequate, sort of by definition.

[Tohru]

Interesting. Thanks for replying.

 

We know A LOT of unschoolers here. I'm going into my 9th year and have known families that have unschooled this entire time- no fluctuation or variety and hold a firm belief that unschooling is the only way their children should be educated.

 

A few of my friends are unschoolers and they kind of teased me for spending 2 weeks trying to figure out my son's high school path. I got burnt out dealing high school choices and wondered if they ever got burnt out. My Classical Ed friend and I were discussing burnout yesterday.

 

They do have the support of each other in their unschooling and we rarely discuss education when we get together. I didn't know if other unschoolers ever got burnout.

[LibraryLover]

Our core hsing groups (we've been together 10 yrs) is a mix of Calvert- or mixed -box curric users, unschoolers, relaxed hsers, and your basic 'eclectic' hsers. I am among the relaxed/eclectic/ unschooling uspectrum. We've all shared our good and bad days. Sometimes life is more difficult, and sometimes it all hums along nicely. Sometimes the mess gets to us, and sometimes we've got it pretty organized. One thing that *never* happens is that we would laugh at each other's struggles, concerns, or the occassional mini-freakouts that all parents experience. What freaks me out might not freak another friend out, but she repsects my freak-out, and I respect hers, despite the fact that we freak -out over totally different issues.

 

Sometimes unschoolers will introduce the idea of some structure and the kids go with it, and it works. Other times, more formal hsers will decide to chill for a time and see what happens. All of the children are getting their individual needs met. Even more formal hsers will let their kids take time to make dig giant craters (this is our inner joke-- every kid needs a giant hole sometimes lol...ok so it's only funny to us) Nobody is so dogmatic that they can't ask for and get some sympathy or kindness, not matter that some people do workbooks and some do not. Our styles may vary, but it's clear to all of us that some things work for some families. Our support and friendships don't depend on who uses what curric sometimes, never, or always. (And ok, I admit, there are no Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child hsers among us...that would be difficult).

 

Several of us have older teens who do want to go to college, or are at least thinking about college. It would be cruel to laugh at those parents trying to help their children figure out how to get from Point B to C. You can't get into 99% of colleges without any sort of transcript. So to laugh off that preparation or concerns would be stupid. Unschoolers have to fill out the same Common Ap as traditional schoolers and hsers.

Edited July 24, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Tohru]

I wasn't getting laughed at, but being teased in a friendly fashion because I wasn't making the play dates due to working on my ds high school plans.

 

Just curious if unschoolers ever got burnt out. That's all. I guess they don't.

[Teachin'Mine]

My friend who homeschools in a child-led fashion (sort of unschooling but she does suggest things too for the child to consider) does get burned out. She gets burned out on some of her kid's passions (obsessions!) when she's ready to move on but they aren't. She gets burned out on some of the general busyness of days out and about.

 

I've heard her lament sometimes that her kids have not been doing as much productive things as she'd like at times (the opposite of her burn out times). But I asked her once if sh

e ever felt like her kid's education might turn out to be inadequate - because I was feeling that way about mine at the time. Her answer was "no" because she had no goal for them - wherever they ended up was the goal. So it couldn't be inadequate, sort of by definition.

 

That is interesting. I know there are some very famous "unschoolers" and they excelled in areas of science and others because of their internal drive to know, understand, explore, etc.. But I don't honestly understand how it works for the average student. I'd be afraid that most kids if left on their own to end up where ever they end up, would end up with limited job potential, etc.. That can happen with any of us, but I would just think the chances would be greater with unschooling. Have any studies been done assessing whether if these kids are happier? I find the subject of unschooling fascinating! :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

That is interesting. I know there are some very famous "unschoolers" and they excelled in areas of science and others because of their internal drive to know' date=' understand, explore, etc.. But I don't honestly understand how it works for the average student. I'd be afraid that most kids if left on their own to end up where ever they end up, would end up with limited job potential, etc.. That can happen with any of us, but I would just think the chances would be greater with unschooling. Have any studies been done assessing whether if these kids are happier? I find the subject of unschooling fascinating! :)[/quote']

 

I don't know about studies.

 

I do know that in this family the 3 school-age children have very definite drives for certain fields. The eldest boy is fascinated with history. The middle girl is fascinated by art. The younger girl is young enough that she hasn't found a specific passion yet.

 

But the eldest boy is at the point (8th grade) where he is asking his mom what he needs in order to meet his goal of going to college. They are jumping through many of the same hoops that Jadedone80 is, but it is a process that is driven by the son, not the mom. So yes, while meeting his internal goal of going to college, they may very well experience burn-out. But the burn-out would be a result of having to meet certain institutional standards, not from the unschooling method. And perhaps if the drive to go to college and study history is strong enough, it will temper some of the burn-out? (Just a stray thought.) If they end up not meeting the standards the mom (from what she's told me) will not experience feelings of guilt because whether he goes or not is totally up to the son. She is there to help him, of course.

 

We homeschool classically, but I still acknowledge that my son needs to own his own education and his own educational journey. So even though our homeschool is different in some ways, it is also very similar in others.

[Nan in Mass]

I don't really know because we don't unschool. We do sort of half and half. The reason I don't unschool completely is that I think I would burn out very quickly. It is easier to teach on my schedule than to help on theirs. When they are little, to do it well (I think) you need to keep track of which skills they are learning and which ones they need to learn and then either find ways of luring them into working on those skills or find ways of persuading them that they will eventually need them. Helping them to learn the things they want to learn is exhausting, whether you are unschooling or not. It takes courage to ask a stranger to work with your child to help him learn something. It may take a lot of research on your part to find resources for your child. Eventually, the child will take over some of that burden, but I have found, in the places where we are child-led, that it still a lot of work on my part. I decide what sort of output needs to happen so that whatever-it-is can be recorded legitimately on the transcript. I keep track of everything. In a way, burnout might be less likely to happen because you aren't fighting the child quite so much, but it is replaced, at least in our version of half-and-half, by the constant negotiation over everything (two people steering the car). Militant homeschoolers who leave their children completely alone and don't help them when they ask, and whose children never ask for their help getting into college and aquiring the academic skills needed to survive once there, probably don't burn out : ).

[Night Elf]

Has any one ever heard of unschooler burnout? Do they get burned out or ever feel inadequate with the education of their children? Any views/opinions/thoughts? Just curious and all ;)

 

Unschooling was the hardest educational method for me to follow. It was exhausting! Some people think unschoolers just sit back and do nothing and that is so far from the truth. I had to constantly listen and talk to my children to find out what they were thinking and to be ready to pursue any interest they mentioned. I had to keep all kinds of supplies and books around the house. I had to get them out of the house and into lots of opportunities for learning, and I'm not talking about academics. We talked about everything under the sun and I had to research alot to answer their questions. Yeah, I got burned out.

 

I'll also admit I grew more as a person and parent with unschooling than in anything I've ever done. It was fabulous, but it really did wear me out. DH was the one who finally asked for formal curriculum because I had reached the point where I just didn't want to do anything anymore. Curriculum was the easy way out for us. After we were back into the traditional way of schooling again, DH also changed his mind about the importance of an accredited high school diploma. I never worried about their keeping up with other kids their ages, and I still don't. I'd be happy to drop the diploma thing but DH really gets upset when I talk about it. So yeah, I encourage the kids to study hard and earn their diploma, but secretly I do miss unschooling. :)

[LibraryLover]

Where are you getting they don't? Nobody has said. Parenting can be hard work, even when you love it.

 

I wasn't getting laughed at, but being teased in a friendly fashion because I wasn't making the play dates due to working on my ds high school plans.

 

Just curious if unschoolers ever got burnt out. That's all. I guess they don't.

[LibraryLover]

 

 

Most of my homeschool friends are unschoolers (it just happened that way). They are exhausting! :D

 

 

I would agree. They always seem to have at least one fun project in the works, or somewhere interesting to visit. There seems to be a lot going on with the unschoolers I know. I get tired. LOL But I love them anyway.