Making it all work with babies, preschoolers, and the bigger kids?

[yellowperch]

If you have children about the ages of my kids, please tell me how your day really works. I'm only two months into homeschooling and I'm exhausted trying to do it all: teaching a light load with my older three, keeping up with my almost (next week!!!) 4 year old sweetheart, and tending to and enjoying my (happy, easy, sweet) babe while also running the house and doing all the kids' activities (swim, baseball, piano, chess). (DH is abroad now, but will be home soon. He travels frequently and for 6 - 8 week stretches year round.)

 

I'm doing okay because I'm trying so very, very hard. But it just feels like I can't really sustain this--and I really want to make homeschooling work for us.

[kwickimom]

:bigear: I will be starting my first year with DD7, DS4, DS2, and 2 newborns I will be babysitting :001_huh: I would love to know how all the big families do it.

 

From reading some other threads I think you need to be either super organized or super relaxed. I am super organized, but I wont be able to have an exact time schedule with the babies. So I plan to have a list of "must-do's", "hope to do's", and "can skips." I am going to lay out a monthy HS plan, but just by material I want covered, not by time constraints. Once I get to know the newborns I can come up with a better schedule. I will be starting DD7 in July and going year round so that I do not have to as heavy a load during the school year (I watch teachers kiddos)

[rfoster]

No advice, just :grouphug: as I'm in the EXACT same boat as you are! I'm going to be subscribing to this thread, I'm always finding such fantastic advice from this forum so I'm all ears! :bigear:

[krisperry]

I'm both - that is super organized and I try to be super relaxed.

 

Like today, school was just not going to happen despite my best efforts. The kids were just.... well, you know how it gets. We were just all burned out from a hectic week. So while I have a schedule; I have to remain flexible in order for my sanity to remain intact.

 

My 3 year old destroying machine will often sleep until 9-10 am. My boys are early risers. Some of our best days capitalize on this. If I can manage to be doing school with the 1st and 3rd grader by 7 am then they are often done or about done when their sister gets up. Makes things much, much easier.

 

The 3 year old does not nap :001_huh: I SO wish she would.

 

The newest member - 7 weeks old isn't too hard to manage. I do have to hold him a lot to keep him quiet.

 

I have the olders do specific activities with the youngers. ie. 3rd grader reading to the 3 yo (lots of picture books are actually challenging reading)

1st grader writes spelling words in chalk outside and 5 yo Pre-K copies his words....

 

I make sure to take breaks for the Pre-K crowd - read to them, sing a song. Give them time too yk?

 

The oldest child - 12 - does much of her work independently. However, most of the kiddos are in bed by 8. If we haven't gotten to one of our "together subjects" during the day, we snuggle on the couch and catch up after all the youngers are in bed.

 

My kids are 12, 9, 7, 5, 3, and 7 weeks.

Edited June 12, 2010 by krisperry

[Caralee]

Sorry. This is a long post.

 

I have 4 children ages 10, 8, 3, and 1 whom I have homeschooled over the past 4 years.

 

How do I do it all? I don't.

 

But I too recently felt like things were very busy. I asked a similar thread (check for the thread

"How do you find time to do it all?" ).

 

The first is you do what is most important for your family first. For us, that is family time together every evening and weekends (when Dad is home), homeschooling, maintaining the home and lastly, Sunday church.

 

For myself, I have had to keep my own priorities and they are: make and stick to a basic schedule with which my family adheres to daily with some flexibility. In that schedule, we all work together, homeschool together, and play together. Furthermore, if I haven't trained my children properly, that adds way more stress to me, so I am really working at training the children's character at all times.

 

I train all my children to do house work. Presently, with my two oldest children and myself, we can get our house cleaned really well in one hour (not including laundry). My children know how to do most cleaning jobs in our home. They clean their own room now and they clean up all their own toys. On occasion before meals, I teach the two oldest how to cook. Now my oldest can fry eggs and make omelets without supervision which is really nice for me.

 

Now, any other activity that gets done or enjoyed is icing on the cake. I have laid aside activities that I like doing so I can maintain my priorities. We don't get involved in any sports (we just play as a family or meet up with other families a few times per month). We are not involved in any clubs presently (we have been but they have to be very important or very useful for skills like 4H or an excellent class for us to commit to doing it). We haven't joined any support groups as I have not found them beneficial for learning and they don't fit our family schedule. We use holiday trips or Saturdays to see museums, etc. I am not involved in any church ministry or activity outside my home.

 

As for our curriculum, I pretty much follow what the TWTM book recommends, but I drop those things that are not pivotal in my opinion like memory work in poetry, history, and science or any extra busywork so I can make it manageable for us to complete our work everyday.

 

I have made out a education plan and schedule for the year for each child as to what subjects they do when and how much so I don't have to try and figure out what to do. We homeschool all year round so I have flexibility for sick days, bad attitude days, holidays, surprise fun days, guests stay at our house, catchup in a subject, etc. If I feel we are too tired or having a really difficult day, then we take it off and start fresh the next day. Sometimes, we will homeschool on Saturdays instead of a weekday.

 

Everyone is in the same room while homeschooling which is either our kitchen (because I am baking) or in our family room in the basement (because I am doing laundry etc).

 

My oldest child is used to the hs routine and is trained to complete all his math and L.A. by himself with the occasional need of help.He is very good at being independent in his work.

 

My second child still requires training in staying focused on his work ,so I have him sit near me so I can keep him focused. I still have to help him alot and I am training him to be independent in his work. Ex: I tell him to do the whole lesson himself. If he has an area he doesn't understand, I tell him to reread it. If he still doesn't understand, then I tell him to reread it aloud. Usually this does it. But there are regular times, he is just not able to get it so I help him.

 

My biggest struggle is with the 3 yr old as he wants to play with the older two, but is not allowed. So we play/read together while the older two are working. Or I will have him help me with my laundry or cooking in the kitchen. If one of the older two need help, I help them, but I tell my 3 yr old that he needs to be patient and wait for me to come back to him. Often, I do put on a good video like magic school bus or jayjay to keep him occupied while I help the others, but I have also had problems with getting him to stop watching tv once I start this. Occasionally I can get him to play with something on his own like "little people".

 

But I also have times where my 3 yr old will just lay on me as he is bored....so it is not all rosy here. I have started him on "unofficial" school work which is crayons and a coloring book or one of those preschool or dot to dot books from Walmart so he is "included" in our homeschooling, but I find him still a little young to do this. This has worked only when I do the dot to dot or coloring with him. Another thing that worked for a week was giving him construction paper, glue, a little persons scissor and let him cut and past.

 

What I am planning to do in the future is have a few select toys or educational activities like playdough, paper, cut and paste supplies, building blocks, flashcards, blocks, cars, coloring supplies, books, puzzles etc in separate containers that we only bring out during homeschooling. He will have to pick out what he wants to play or do for that time. It is similar to the "workboxes" idea that many are doing and talking about. (Look up "workboxes" in the google search engine.)

 

For my baby, she just fits in whereever. If I need to nurse her then I nurse her. I make sure she has her two 2 hour naps everyday which helps me with homeschooling. I don't let her miss them as it causes her to become grumpy and then we all have a bad day. If she is awake while homeschool, then she is in her playpen or entertainer or on my lap playing and watching us.

 

As for the other subjects, I try to include the little ones (ages 2-5 yrs) in the history, science, art, languages, etc. They will make narration drawings, read with us and do the projects at there level along with the older ones. They really enjoy this. I keep their work in a binder for them to look back on. In doing this, they become very smart little people and develop a love for learning and interesting topics.

 

Our day is basically this:

6 am Wakeup- do morning chores

Between 7- 8:30 Breakfast

8:30 Math and L.A. (about 2 hours) (3 yr old with Mom play, read, or working) Baby usually goes to sleep sometime during the morning for about 2 hours

10:30 reading with narration (the 10 yr old, 8 yr old and 3 yr old play legos while I read

11:30 Play and Lunch

1:00 pm 3 yr old nap - Baby with Mom, Two oldest do history or science, math, languages, music, art etc.

2:00 Baby goes for nap. older two still homeschooling.

3:00 3 yr old wakes up. Home ed is usually done by now or will go on a little longer.

Free time for my 3 oldest to play together while I start supper or any chores that need to be done.

5:30 supper

6:00-7:00 time with Dad

7:30 Showers and brush teeth etc

Then they can read till their bedtimes (different times for different ages). Lights out around 8-8:30 unless Dad reads to the older two.

 

The first half of the year with a new baby, we took alot of days off as I was very tired and couldn't get everything done or we often only completed Math and L.A. as those are the most important in the early years. Then the rest of our homeschooling would be pushed to another day. Now that the baby is older, we are doing more science, history, art, etc. Not each subject everyday, but alternating or only certain days of the week.

 

I do alot of multi-tasking with meals, food preparation, laundry, cleaning, playing and reading with the little ones during the day. My days are very busy and don't always run as smooth as I like. I don't get the greatest sleep, but I try to get sleep as that is very important for my attitude and energy. I try to eat healthy also. Since having the baby, we often only complete Math and L.A. as those are the most important.

 

When my dh is away, I maintain a strict schedule of homeschooling, chores, making meals, church, and limit my errands and shopping to one or two days a week. I try to get help with babysitting from family when going grocery shopping, but usually I take all four children.

 

When I do get overwhelmed, it is because I have added to much to my to do list. At that time, I drop everything on my to do list except essentials (laundry, keep bathrooms and kitchen clean, and homeschool) and do only those things until I feel I am handling life again well. Then I will slowly increase my workload as I can handle it.

 

I do check and change my schedule to improve it regularly. My children have learned to be flexible because of this. I have in the past only homeschooled while the little ones were done for their naps or only in the afternoon or only in the morning or part am and then part pm. This past year I have tried many different ways and I am finally finding a good basic schedule for us.

 

So I hope this helps you with ideas. There is more I could tell you, but this should give you a good start.

 

I won't lie to you. It is alot of work. It is hard at times. I have many days of being very tired and not completing everything I wanted by the end of the day or we didn't have a good day of attitudes etc. I always keep our purpose for homeschooling and training our children in the front of my mind so I don't lose heart and forget why I am doing all this.

 

Charmayne

[Rosy]

The way it works for us (and no, I don't have babies right now, but mine are very close in age and my son can be VERY difficult at times) is that my oldest daughter is extremely independent, and I don't do much with her that requires my direct involvement. No flames please, she really does fine on her own and other than looking over her work and occasionally having to explain a math concept, the only thing we do together is FLL. She does reading, writing, math, Latin, piano, spelling/vocab on her own. With the middle two, I've decided it's ok for them to be "behind"--they have years to catch up. I just don't think school needs to be high-pressure, high-stress in the elementary years. They learn from life, and we prioritize reading. We do math and writing, and everything else we do when it works for us. Science and history are more interest-initiated (though I do use curricula for them on occasion).

 

They help a lot with chores, we're in a great enrichment co-op, and we go to the YMCA almost every weeknight for DD9's karate, swimming for all of us, and exercise for me. DH takes them all to church on Wed night and I get the evening off. I try to do as many of our activities at the Y as possible so I'm not running around as much, and the kids that aren't in the activity can play in their drop-off. We go to the library weekly-ish.

 

As far as how our day goes, we usually get started around 9:00. The 3 younger kids read to me, then DD9 and I do grammar, then the younger ones do math and writing. By that time (11:00-11:30) I'm usually seriously frazzled--DS takes a LOT out of me. At times it bugs me that we're not doing more, but I trust that their capacity for formal schooling will be greater in a year or two. I'll probably even add on a bit for next year, I'll usually sneak in a subject or two each year until they have a full load. DD9 often will make lunch, and I manage the chores getting done and also try to get some quiet time before we leave for the afternoon. I also try to minimize their screen time (they really don't get much, if any, during the week except maybe a DVD before we start school for the day), I figure they're be learning through play and relationships.

 

DD9 is advanced for her age. DS tests low and is a slow learner, but he spends a lot of time playing with Legos and makes some seriously amazing things. DD6 has a hard time with verbal instruction, but she is making good progress. DD5 has done no formal schooling (we just started OPGTR and Saxon 1) but is a quick learner. All that to say formal schooling didn't change much--they need reading and math instruction but it's impossible to teach a mind that isn't ready, and it's hard to keep a kid who's ready to learn from learning.

[....]

Hi! I have an 8 yro, 7 yro, 5 yro and 2 yro. I also have a husband who is NEVER home (in fact, we were 800 miles away from each other for almost a year recently)...so, I feel your pain. :D

 

I homeschool, manage the kids, manage our entire household, manage our rental house, mow the lawn, pay the bills, run all the errands, etc...

 

I think you might just need more of a pep talk than anything else. :party:

Do you have a BFF in the same situation? I do and that has helped immensely. I would melt into a puddle if I couldn't chat with her over coffee while our kids wrestle each other on a floor covered in CLE workbooks. :tongue_smilie:

 

As far as "how to get it all done" advice...:glare: I get up around 4:45am-5-ish every morning (even on the weekends). I have everything on a schedule - plan out our meals, schedule for each school day broken down with material we will cover, etc... Recently, I had to make out a 2 page list of things that I needed to accomplish and posted them right on our kitchen cabinets, so I had to see this stupid list everytime I went into the kitchen. List is almost finished...

 

I think moms might need a :cheers2: more than anyone else in the world. :D I always say that being a stay-at-home parent and being responsible for all of our household/people in our household/schedules/finances is more work than it was when I was in a hostile-fire zone in the army. :gnorsi:

 

I think the key is flexibility, time management and getting yourself in a routine - you can get used to accomplishing a tremendous amount of stuff. Look at how much you do in a day now (with kids), than before (when you didn't have kids). Homeschooling is just one more thing that ends up melding with the rest of your schedule. It just takes a while to get used to it.

 

I did post a typical day in another thread...but I can't remember where it was... :grouphug:

[2squared]

I'm gearing up to adding a baby in the fall. Here are my plans/thoughts (we do most of this already):

 

1) Determine our must-dos. For us, those are reading, spelling, writing, and math for my older two. Religion, science, history, and whatever else, if covered, will be through an unschooled approach. I am making reading lists for these subjects so I will have books around. Beyond that, I'm not fretting.

 

2) Set a time limit for all the subjects. Math will be 30 min for my 3rd grader and 20 min for my 1st grader. Writing will be one WWE lesson for my 3rd grader and 5 min for my 1st grader. Once I know how much time I need for each must-do school subject, I can slide it in our schedule. My goal is to get all the must-dos done during nap time.

 

3) We have a flexible routine. Breakfast and morning chores before 10:00. Playtime until after lunch. Schoolwork at 1:00 (while the youngers nap). Freetime until dinner prep. Dinner and bedtime.

 

4) Intentionally read to the kids while I'm nursing.

 

5) Significantly limit outside activities. We are in 4-H which is a once/month commitment. My kids took PE and music at the public school this year. I may send them to music and art next year on the city bus (which if you knew where we lived, you would just laugh at calling it a city bus).

[Sasharowan]

My kids are 14, 10, 9, and 4. So a bit older than yours. One thing I did when the 4yo was younger was to rotate the older kids. One would do independent work, one played with/read to the toddler, and one worked with me. Things that several kids did together like history or science, the toddler either colored with us while listening, "helped" with science experiments, or watched a show on tv. Search loop scheduling on here. Basically you decide what needs to be done every day, like Math, and what doesn't. The non daily stuff put into an order and just do them in the order you listed, picking up the next day where you left off the previous day. Assign chores and make a certain time of day to do them. Are you a morning or night person? I'm a night person, so it is important to me that the kids are in bed, at least reading, and NOT TALKING TO ME by a certain time so I can have quiet time to relax and catch my breath. It took just flat out saying "I am done! No more talking except emergencies. No, the cat is under my bed is not an emergency." Set aside time for you, one where the only claim on your time is nursing the baby. Give the kids responsibility. When oldst ds and I were sick flat on our backs last year, dd(then 9) was able to step up and keep her and the 2 other boys fed. She even changed wet diapers, although she brought others to me.

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

Some great helps for me are:

 

Get up earlier than all the kids to have alone time (it is worth losing an hour of sleep)

 

Play with the preschooler before you start school with the olders

 

Clean as you go (this is for cooking, crafts and toys)

 

Institute Quiet time for kids who do not nap ( I spend this time reading a book or on the computer, something quiet and still)

 

Have a strict schedule but be flexible in it

 

Cut down on activities outside of the house (1 sport per child and try to combine interests, less park days and more backyard play)

 

Plan meals in advance, I even do freezer meals so I always have a meal when I don't feel like cooking

[kmacnchs]

The oldest child - 12 - does much of her work independently. However, most of the kiddos are in bed by 8. If we haven't gotten to one of our "together subjects" during the day, we snuggle on the couch and catch up after all the youngers are in bed.

 

That is SUCH a good idea! I'll have to remember that one!

[CalicoKat]

you've gotten a lot of great suggestions here. One thing I'd add to this is to have a stash of toys for the younger kids that are kept only for use during school time when the older kids need you focused on them and the littles more quietly occupied.

 

I keep these toys in plastic shoe boxes and in a closet out of reach. They rotate through these 10 boxes and usually are happy about it for at the most an hour.

- puzzles

- chunky legos

- little people doll house

 

I like to put the those toys with lots of little parts in these boxes :D

 

Before they can move on to a new toy they have to put away the one they were using.

 

When they've exhausted this then I give them a white board marker. That keeps them happy too.

 

I have 5 kids: 11,9,7,5 and 3.