Anyone a home-body

[Quiver0f10]

stuck with a busy life outside the house? I complained about living in Maine, yet I love that I didn't have to go anywhere, ever. I did errands once a week and other than my son's ST, that was it. We didn't even have a church, which stunk, but in a way it was kind of nice. I love being home and I used to joke that if I could shop from home that I'd never leave it.

 

Since moving to Arkansas though my life has changed completely. I am out every day of the week and usually for hours at a time. School is done between mom running around. Even weekends are nuts where I go all day long. I left the house yesterday at 7:50 am and got home at 6 pm. I am thankful I'm not still working at the animal hospital as that was even worse.

 

I can't do less because everything has to be done and DH can't take days off. My teens with licenses do help when they can, but it just works out that it all fals on me.

 

So I guess I need a kick in the pants and need to suck it up, but all I

want to do today is crawl in bed and hide. Vent over.

[Aubrey]

No kick in the pants here. I feel ya. I had a day like that 2 weeks ago, & I'm still recovering!

 

((Jean))

[StacyWithFourRugrats]

I would rarely leave home either. I generally go big shopping once a week tho I do go to the new Lowes Food 4 miles down the street for fresh fish if that is on the dinner list for that evening. I avoid many outside activities now and have gotten to the point where I "resent" all the time TaeKwonDo takes (and the gas required to go there!). The rugrats enjoy playing with each other and seem to enjoy staying at home (tho my 8yo ds does get "bored and lonely" lately). DH is a bit different in that he does like to get out every once in a while (especially if he has worked from home a bit or has been sick).

 

I wouldn't suck it up though. You were able to manage less running around in Maine, so why should Arkansas be on such the opposite end? I would assign some errands to the eldest, driving children and limit, if possible, when you go out.

 

Of course, those few suggestions may not work in your situation and I don't have children that can drive, so anything I say should be taken with a huge grain of salt.

[Aubrey]

I wouldn't suck it up though. You were able to manage less running around in Maine, so why should Arkansas be on such the opposite end? I would assign some errands to the eldest, driving children and limit, if possible, when you go out.

 

I was wondering that, too. Maybe dh's job is different here, so he's available to help less?

[LaMere Academy]

I know how you feel. I dislike having to leave the house a lot myself. I try to only go places 4 x a week or less.

See what you can cut down on and delegate to your older kiddos.

[Closeacademy]

Homebody here--I love to stay home and so do my children. They get cranky and misbehave when I take them out and about too much.

 

So we:

 

1. We have 1 day a week for homeschool activities. On this day we have playgroup, enrichment class and we go to the library.

 

2. I go shopping every other week. This saves on the grocery bill as well. Any small trips my dh picks up on the way home from work.

 

3. I pick 1 day per week for appointments and we schedule them after 12:00.

 

4. We do do an occassional playdate but it is always between the hours of 1 and 3. So we can be home in plenty of time to get dinner together at a relaxed rate rather than stressful and rushed.

 

5. So that I can talk to adults I have homeschool moms who I regularly chat with on the phone. I also come here.

 

6. Anything that is out of the norm for errands we try to do on weekends or we try to get it in on the appointment or homeschool day.

 

7. My goal is to spend at least 2 days per week totally at home with no interruptions. We really need this to keep relaxed and focused. Otherwise we get too stressed.

 

8. You are not alone. I know a lot of people who limit outside interrruptions because it keeps everyone on a nice even tone.

 

Good luck in finding your balance.:001_smile:

[Shannon in MO]

when we lived in a "city" of 100,000 w/ a dozen activities available for every age group. And I think we almost did them all! We were only home on Thursdays, and even then dd had tennis from 530-630 (awful time). We moved to the boonies about 2 years ago & now we only leave the house 1 day/week for shopping & homeschool stuff "in town" (45 min. away). Fewer opportunities & high gas make it an east decision :0) And, I love it!! We're learning to garden & live more independently, and just got 2 horses so they keep us busy....

Shannon

[Quiver0f10]

I ended up leaving church and taking my 3 yo home with me. I am realy in a cruddy mood. Dh has never helped out so that hasn't changed. We just have alot of committments that I can't do anything about. I have one house I clean every other week and I forgot to go Friday. They called at 4 PM did you forget to come today? OOPS. I think I am losing my mind.

[Pajama Mama]

I would be a homebody if allowed to do so. We have 3 kids-one with Asperger's & the other with severe medical issues. I always seem to be going to one doc or another. My aspie has speech each week and karate 3 times a week. My dd who has no issues has her commitments as well--Brownies, tap/ballet class, etc. Dh does help alot when he can though:)

[HootOwl]

TWICE in the past 3 years we have purposefully moved OUT to the country for a simpler, quieter life. It was wonderful, but I thought I missed the conveniences of living in a suburban area. So, we've moved TWICE now back to the same surburban area we left, and I so dislike it!

 

I truly am a homebody. I don't "need" to be around people. Being around my family is enough companionship for me. I so fondly recall when my little ones were 4 and 6 and we would spend so much time outside in the woods exploring, walking, playing with our cats, picnicking, reading---everything I every wanted life to be.

 

Now we are gone 4-5 nights a week with dance lessons, ball practice/games, church activities, orchestra events, etc. Granted, these are activities that we have chosen to allow our kids to do, but it is hard not to do these things when you're in an environment where it's the norm.

 

I still long for the quiet life, and I would go back to either of our former homes in a heartbeat, if possible. I truly think our family thrives more in the quieter, country life. We just have to figure out a way to get back to it.

 

Hang in there! I hope you can find a way to recapture some of the quiet joy you once had. I know I'm trying to do the same.

 

Blessings,

Lisa

[tuckabella]

Homebody here--I love to stay home and so do my children. They get cranky and misbehave when I take them out and about too much.

 

So we:

 

1. We have 1 day a week for homeschool activities. On this day we have playgroup, enrichment class and we go to the library.

 

2. I go shopping every other week. This saves on the grocery bill as well. Any small trips my dh picks up on the way home from work.

 

3. I pick 1 day per week for appointments and we schedule them after 12:00.

 

4. We do do an occassional playdate but it is always between the hours of 1 and 3. So we can be home in plenty of time to get dinner together at a relaxed rate rather than stressful and rushed.

 

5. So that I can talk to adults I have homeschool moms who I regularly chat with on the phone. I also come here.

 

6. Anything that is out of the norm for errands we try to do on weekends or we try to get it in on the appointment or homeschool day.

 

7. My goal is to spend at least 2 days per week totally at home with no interruptions. We really need this to keep relaxed and focused. Otherwise we get too stressed.

 

8. You are not alone. I know a lot of people who limit outside interrruptions because it keeps everyone on a nice even tone.

 

Good luck in finding your balance.:001_smile:

 

I think I should try this. Thanks for sharing.

[Mama Bear]

I always seem to be going to one doc or another.

 

 

I hear ya. If it was just the activities for the neurotypical ones, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but between therapies and other appointments I get a little whiny.

 

No help here from the kids' dad. He was pretty good about all kinds of stuff a way back when.

 

It's a season. (Say it with me.) Soon they'll be up and out. My reminder for that is that my oldest four are off to their dad for a week starting tomorrow. I'll still have Q here. And no, it's not a break. I'm trying to think of it positively, but there's just too much ancillary crud involved.

 

Sorry for the hijack, Quiver. I think you're probably stuck in the sucking whirlpool that comes with diagnoses, therapies, etc., right? Can you do anything, even something small, that is pure self-care and really bolstering for you? Some ideas: cry in the shower, use some of Amy's soap :) , a nice, special cup of coffee, a good devotional book (Jesus Calling is great), order everyone out and take a nap, help someone outside the family who needs it (always good for helping me suck it up), a nice bar of chocolate in your purse that no one else knows about -- you don't even have to eat it, just have it, a piece of art that you love (greeting cards are a nice, reasonably priced way to get this), good audio books for all the miles you're logging, singing with the kids while driving.....

 

Just writing this, it's occurred to me that when things get crazy, probably the best thing (for me, anyway) is to acknowledge the nuttiness we're living, patting it on the head, if you will, then move resolutely to inviting something beautiful into my space, whatever that may be. Hmmm. 'Twould seem I have some work to do......

 

You're in my thoughts and prayers, honey.

 

:grouphug:

[Antonia]

Oh, yes! I know exactly how you feel. If I am out of the house all day, or if I have company and have to, heaven forbid!, be overly sociable, I actually get physically ill. I feel like I have the flu and just want to crawl into bed. It takes me a couple of days to feel like myself again. Unfortunately, between my two kids there are activities *every* day of the week. Whatever happened to Sunday being a day of rest? :glare:

[Ravin]

Between working 4 nights/week, babysitting 4 mornings a week, 1 of which involves taking one of the boys babysat to art class with DD, and all of which involve driving in traffic around the university to drop off/pick up my friend for whom I'm babysitting (a chore I avoided when actually in college myself by taking the bus)...then my only day off from both babysitting and Wal-Mart is usually one of the few I have the car for the whole day (by dropping DH off at work), so we wind up shopping/going to the zoo/visiting friends, etc.

 

The result is I wind up out of the house some time out of pretty much any given 24 hour period. It's exhausting.

[Zoraida]

I would LOVE to be a home-body but it just doesn't work out around here. So I try to stick to a schedule which makes life less hectic.

 

Sundays: Attend 8:00 a.m. Mass. Go to Wal Mart Super Center after church to by weeks grocery's and other shopping.

 

Tuesdays: Our Catholic homeschool group hold band, drama, debate, and art classes at our church religous education building on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3:00-5:00. I drop the kids off at 3:00 and my husband picks them up at 5:00 on his way home from work.

 

Wednesdays: 6:00 to 7:30 - drop the kids off at church for CCD classes. Sometimes I will stay and go to the church chapel with other mothers to pray the rosary. If I don't stay, I'll go home and my husband picks the kids up at 7:30.

 

Thursdays: 3:00 drop the kids off at homeschool group. Husband picks them up at 5:00.

 

Saturday: Always library day. Visit our local farm to market stands and garden center after library.Sometimes we will go to the Mall and eat lunch at the food court. Main reason for going to the mall is to visit Barnes and Nobles!

 

Blessings

 

Zoraida

[Quiver0f10]

Can you do anything, even something small, that is pure self-care and really bolstering for you?

 

I was thinking about this very thing today and I think that's the real problem, I don't have time or do anything just for ME. I run and give give give all day every day and at the end all I want is to be left aone and do what I want kwim? We have alot of other stress going on and yes, Ds's new diagnosis and theraphies are part of the run around stuff.

 

Thanks everyone for the replies and understanding! Just posting here helped some as I don't have anyone IRL to vent too.

[Rachel]

I am a total homebody. I live in a rural space, but close enough to town that I feel like I'm there all the time. The nearest WalMart is a 25 minute drive and I truly try to limit my trips down there to once a week or less. I work 4 nights a week so when I'm home I don't want to leave.

 

My kids (all teens) cannot understand why I don't want to drive them all over creation when I'm home and get quite testy at "according to them" never getting to go anywhere...............brother!

 

The kids have various activities but I'm lucky enough to have my mother next door and my husband really chip in and take up the slack. Otherwise I would be a very grumpy gal...........when I do a lot of outside activities in a day I come up very drained and then don't want to leave my house for days after.......