Margo out of lurking Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I am going to visit an aunt who was recently given a 3-6 month life expectancy. We are not particularly close; until recently, I'd last seen her in 1980. Since moving to Virginia three years ago, I've taken my kids up to see her twice. She is my dad's sister, and three other siblings are close by. I want to go and see her before she dies. I expect that she'll still be living in her home. (Ds and I will be staying with another aunt.) What can I do for anyone there? I will offer to drive her anywhere, to run any errands, to keep her company, to read to her, to cook (she has no appetite). I want to be useful, but I really don't know WHAT to do. I'd prefer to have ideas, instead of just telling anyone that I'll do whatever they'd like--they'd probably then say nothing. I'll be there for a total of five days, but two of those will be travel days. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Some things to distract her that don't take energy. - the big easy crossword puzzles - ditto for big easy Sudoku puzzles - audio books that are not meaty - CDs that are soothing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Clean for her, cook for her, listen to her, ask her to share her favorite memories (you may be able to learn so much about your family this way), offer to take her someplace she really wants to go... just BE with her. It's wonderful that you are traveling to see her and that you want to help. I'm sorry it's under these circumstances though. Enjoy your time with her as much as you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfOneFunOne Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I don't know if you're the one to do it but my grandmother had a stash of stuff that was really private. They were things that she wanted to keep but when the end came near, it made her nervous to think that they would fall into other people's hands. I helped her burn a lot of papers. I tell you it was a travesty and I really wanted them but it was important to her so I did it. They were love letters b/t her and my grandfather when they were young, poetry she had written, letters from one of her sons from the war . . . they were just intensly private and she didn't want to share. She also didn't seem able to let go of them by herself. Just so you know, this is not easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Could you share some photo albums with her? Do you have any pictures of your family of origin visiting with her--you know, good family celebrations or vacations or whatever? Might be nice to go down memory lane a little bit. It's kind of you to visit her when you are not close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Could you share some photo albums with her? Do you have any pictures of your family of origin visiting with her--you know, good family celebrations or vacations or whatever? Might be nice to go down memory lane a little bit. It's kind of you to visit her when you are not close. This is what I was going to suggest. A weekly visit just to sit and chat would be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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