Mother knows best . . . or does she?

[scrapbookbuzz]

For those of you that have been down the road of attempting to get your child tested for autism, Aspergers, dyslexia, whathaveyou, have you ever been strongly encouraged more than once to "enroll your child" in the local school?

 

We've recently started on the road for testing for Aspergers and I'm already tired of the school psychologist who keeps saying, "I strongly encourage you to enroll her here (at the school) so that we can observe her in multiple settings." and "What kind of help do you plan on getting for her?"

 

Well, gee, do you think maybe I'd be here talking to her if I really knew what kind of help I wanted/needed?

 

Drives me nuts!

[Laurie4b]

No, but I was able to pick a neuropsych whom I knew was supportive of homeschooling.

 

I would answer something like: I appreciate your concern. You may not be aware, but homeschooling is extremely flexible and many people homeschool children with special needs. When the testing is done and I know what she needs, I will pursue the best options for her. Can we leave it at that?

 

If there is a comeback: I kind of feel like you're badgering me about our lifestyle choices and I want to get through the testing. Can we drop the issue of where her needs will be met until we find out exactly what those needs are? Thank you.

[Guest]

No, but I was able to pick a neuropsych whom I knew was supportive of homeschooling.

 

I would answer something like: I appreciate your concern. You may not be aware, but homeschooling is extremely flexible and many people homeschool children with special needs. When the testing is done and I know what she needs, I will pursue the best options for her. Can we leave it at that?

 

If there is a comeback: I kind of feel like you're badgering me about our lifestyle choices and I want to get through the testing. Can we drop the issue of where her needs will be met until we find out exactly what those needs are? Thank you.

 

Great response! I would also add that it is most definitely NOT necessary to observe a child in multiple settings to arrive at a diagnosis. The neuropsych who tested my child did so for a total of eleven hours over multiple days, talked with me -- and actually listened to what I said -- for three hours, and I thought really "got" my child as very few people had before.

[LizzyBee]

We've had the opposite experience with professionals here. I've had an audiologist tell me that dd13 (then 11) is doing so well because she's homeschooled; SLP said that it was good that we pulled her out of ps when we did (after K) because she fits the profile of kids who develop selective mutism; and the EdPsych who tested her last year told me that she wasn't ready to return to ps yet.

 

I'm sorry you're not getting the same support.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Thank you for your responses. I finally realized, through prayer and talking with another mom who is "special needs" but due to giftedness, that

 

1) I'm not looking for help, per se, at this time, just a diagnosis (for future reference, if I need it)

and

2) the psychologist may be so used to parents requesting help that it may be "out of the box" for her to have one just requesting a diagnosis.

 

Laurie's responses are excellent and may just write those down to use them on Monday!

[EKS]

I'm already tired of the school psychologist who keeps saying, "I strongly encourage you to enroll her here (at the school) so that we can observe her in multiple settings." and "What kind of help do you plan on getting for her?"

 

 

 

I think the problem is that you're seeing the school psychologist. You might also have this trouble with a private evaluator, but school psychologists seem to have a particularly hard time thinking outside the box.

 

ETA: It would help if I read the other responses first!

[Mom22ns]

Thank you for your responses. I finally realized, through prayer and talking with another mom who is "special needs" but due to giftedness, that

 

1) I'm not looking for help, per se, at this time, just a diagnosis (for future reference, if I need it)

and

2) the psychologist may be so used to parents requesting help that it may be "out of the box" for her to have one just requesting a diagnosis.

 

Laurie's responses are excellent and may just write those down to use them on Monday!

 

I think this explains your problem. Schools can not give a diagnosis. They can provide an evaluation and they can offer services or accommodations.

 

If what you want is not just an evaluation (where they point out problem areas, strengths and weaknesses), but an actual diagnosis, you are in the wrong place.

 

If you are at a psychologist referred to by the schools, but who works privately, they might be able to provide an actual diagnosis.

[farmgirlinwv]

I tried this as well. Our school system does not diagnose. They did some testing that told me what I already know. Basically useless. They did not give me any new ideas or info. If I want a diagnosis I need to pay$600 to a psychiatrist. I may do it. I'm just not ready to yet.

[Greta Lea]

Homeschooling is THE *best* thing I could have done for my boy! He wishes all the Aspie boys he sees (just a few) could be homeschooled. These other boys suffer SO much in the regular school setting.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Thank you all, again, for your responses. The school psychologist and occupational therapist were very clear in stating that this will not be a medical diagnosis and for that I would need to see a developmental pediatrician. However, I still want their professional assessment and evaluation to cover all my bases.

 

And, yes, I believe homeschooling is best for my child. I know how to give her breaks when she needs them, and I recognize the signs. I also know how to explain to her when we're transitioning from one activity to the next. If needed, I let her do assignments orally or type written. All the things an IEP would mention, I'm already doing! :^)

 

It's still a new journey, though, so I"m glad I have all of you to turn to for answers, hugs, and prayers!

[Laurie4b]

I think this explains your problem. Schools can not give a diagnosis. They can provide an evaluation and they can offer services or accommodations.

 

If what you want is not just an evaluation (where they point out problem areas, strengths and weaknesses), but an actual diagnosis, you are in the wrong place.

 

If you are at a psychologist referred to by the schools, but who works privately, they might be able to provide an actual diagnosis.

 

That's true to some degree, but the tests they do are what a diagnosis is based on, so getting the testing done at the school is a huge chunk off of the price of getting a diagnosis. For instance, we went with a private neuropsych who was very inexpensive. She did the WISC and a Woodcock Johnson, which the school would do. Then she did some additional testing and came up with a diagnosis. At normal rates charged, having what the school does for free will save you about $1000. The school will tell you where there are discrepencies and what those mean, especially if you ask. ( Always, always, leave a test situation with a thorough understanding. Ask, ask, ask even if your questions feel dumb. ) They will also likely tell you what diagnoses to check out--if you ask them.

 

You also start your child's paper trail that they will need for accomodations, etc.

[Mom22ns]

I always recommend trying the school system for evaluations before paying for private. Sometimes they are very helpful. Personally, our district has the best OT for dealing with SI in the region. We are so lucky!

 

I was just saying that it is illegal for a school district to give a diagnosis. So, when the OP figured out what she really wanted and found that it was not help, but a diagnosis, they can't provide that.

 

I do hope you get great info from the evaluation though. Our ps here is wonderful and very helpful. It just helps to know what they will and will not provide - to limit frustration.

[Guest kgirlula]

I find when I work with or bring my daughter to someone in the public school system or even a therapist who counters or questions my choice of homeschooling, they are projecting. Either they are projecting the attitude of "oh if this was me I couldn't do it" or projecting society's attitude that PS can do it better without really knowing anything about HS.