danielle Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I am 1/2 day homeschooling an 11 year old, 5th grade girl who seems to have no hope or aspirations. She's the only child I've ever met who has no answer to what do you want to be when you grow up. When pressed, she will say, "I want to buy a house for my grandma", with whom she lives. I'm looking for two suggestions: dvds/videos (poor reader) or books that show kids overcoming adversity and going on to success. Scientists or artists or people in ancient times would be particularly good. books about girls who learn to cope with a troubled relationship with their mother--I just read her Anooka's Answer and it was a big success. Please help. I'm really struggling with how to teach hope. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saved1112 Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I am 1/2 day homeschooling an 11 year old, 5th grade girl who seems to have no hope or aspirations. She's the only child I've ever met who has no answer to what do you want to be when you grow up. When pressed, she will say, "I want to buy a house for my grandma", with whom she lives. What a wonderful desire... to buy a house for her grandma!! :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Well, certainly if it is a difficult home situation, it may be all the child can do is to cope with today -- thinking ahead to the future would be too overwhelming. On the otherhand, my boys are 14 and almost 16, and really don't know what they want to do either -- there are so many options out there. : ) As they approach the end of high school, we'll do some fun career testing stuff to help them pinpoint strengths and interests; in the meanwhile, we point out ideas, help them follow current interests, etc. (For example, one son had a real interest in filmmaking and animation last year, so we worked a school credit around that and encouraged him with books, documentaries, and he did a lot of projects.) Perhaps just observe her and see if you can discern what kinds of things she is interested in right now -- gymnastics? horses? hairstyling? Does she do anything with art or music? Flowers or gardening? Does she take any interest in science sorts of things -- animals? mixing things to see what happens? That can give you a clue as to how to nurture those sparks of interest with books and other resources. At any rate below are some inspiring /overcoming obstacles themed books. Blessings to you for taking such a concern and interest in this little girl! BEST of luck! Warmest regards, Lori D. Readers (gr. 3-4 level student) - The Year of Miss Agnes (Hill) - Understood Betsy (Fisher) - Naya Nuki: The Shoshone Girl Who Ran -- friend of Sacajewea - Behind Rebel Lines (Reit) -- teen girl disguised as a boy / Union spy in Civil War - Helen Keller (Davidson) - Louis Braille (Davidson) - The Courage of Sarah Noble (Dalgliesh) - The Toothpaste Millionaire (Merrill) - Call it Courage (Sperry) - Li Lin, Lad of Courage - The Sword in the Tree (Bulla) - The Sign of the Beaver (Speare) - The Door in the Wall (de Angeli) - Born in the Year of Courage (Crofford) - Charlotte's Web; Trumpet of the Swan (White) - Mr. Popper's Penguins (Atwater) - The Cricket in Times Square (Selden) Readers (5th grade level): - The Black Stallion (Farley) - My Side of the Mountain (George) - The Never Ending Story (Ende) - Mountain Born (Yates) - Daughter of the Mountains (Rankin) Read Alouds: - Carry On Mr. Bowditch (Latham) - A Little Princess (Burnett) - The Secret Garden (Burnett) - The Wolves of Willoughby Chase (Aiken) - The Princess & the Goblins; The Princess & Curdie (MacDonald) - Where the Red Fern Grows (Rawls) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Really? I don't think most children think that far ahead - they are just in the moment. My dd has no idea what she wants to do when she grows up and it doesn't concern me at all. She is 11. Is the problem more to do with an overall melancholy mood? Do you suspect depression? Some good books are Understood Betsy and Eight Cousins. Both girls start out kind of frail, but come into their own during the course of the story. Maybe an audio book from the library would be fun? Hope it works out for the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I'm looking for two suggestions: dvds/videos (poor reader) or books that show kids overcoming adversity and going on to success. Scientists or artists or people in ancient times would be particularly good. I can understand other posters who've said that it's probably okay for her to have as her only goal to buy a house for her grandmother. How generous of her!! And how noble! Let her feel proud of that with no questions asked, and no hint that this is not goal enough. It truly is enough for someone her age and in whatever circumstances she finds herself. I would caution you to not make her feel like she needs to do more. That said, there are many stories about kids/adults persevering and getting something they really want (not quite the same as what to be when they grow up). Here are a few that came to mind, coupled with some "feel good" stuff that might be easy for you two to go through together. DVD ideas: Akeelah & The Bee The Miracle Worker (Helen Keller) The Underground Railroad (A & E - series of three?) - Harriet Tubman Pursuit of Happiness (not so much about a child, but about a father and son team who persevere to success..and it's based on a true story.) Holes Whale Rider Shiloh Book/story ideas: Any books about the historical figures above (there are so many others!) Chicken Soup for the Pre-Teen Soul (I think there are several of these or variations under similar names) Up & Running (Patinkin) Hatchet - Gary Paulsen (fiction) Julie of the Wolves (fiction -- there is a scene of "almost" sexual abuse which you may or may not want to avoid...we chose not to.) Audiobook ideas: Number the Stars Esperanza Rising Because of Winn Dixie Holes Note: In several cases, the suggestions are available in book, audiobook, and/or dvd. HTH, Doran Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LilyK Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 I second everyone's opinion about buying a house for her grandmother. I would be immensely proud if any of my kids had such aspirations. Here are some more great books about hope. Sarah, Plain and Tall Island of the Blue Dolphins Jane Eyre (I have seen edited kids versions in the library before) Pollyanna A Single Shard The Gospels of the New Testament Also, although this is a movie, I thought that Disney's Meet the Robinson's was the most touching story about a kid who overcomes sadness and abandonment and realizes that there is real hope in the future. This is one Disney movie that I actually like and plan on buying. Good luck, and bless you heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted March 31, 2008 Share Posted March 31, 2008 Well a 5th grader is kind of young . And if she is living under difficult conditions that is a great aspiration . It means she really loves her grandma , and she does have hope . What it does sound like is that she needs a mentor . A guide if you will . Someone who is going to show her things she can get interested in . The will to want to do something doesn't always come from within all children . Sometimes it needs to be worked on and if inspiring for the future is not talked about in the home , she isn't going to think about it either . I mean Grandma I'm sure has done all she has wanted to do in her life so she isn't going to talk more about the future ( some grandparents are like this ) . So this little girl needs someone to point her in the direction of her future . Other then just books , take her on a field trip to the Humane Society , show her the people there that work there . Maybe someday she may want to be a vet . Take her on a field trip to a fish hatchery , a hospital or doctor's office , daycare etc . If she isn't exposed to the workforce she isn't going to know or care . Just stick with it and show her you care about her and what she becomes in the future . Some children know what they want to do from the get go but they are few and far between that actually know at this age and stick with it and go on to do what they want . Most children will say they want to be a teacher, vet , fairy princess that rules the land and sea . Some children will want to buy a house for their grandma . Expand on that . Do a project that will show her what she needs to do to buy a house for her grandma . To buy a house you need money . Well to get money we need to get a job . What job would you like to have to get that money to buy your grandma her house ? If she doesn't know then maybe go to the library and get some books on other professions ( with picture ) . Let her read them , or even better you read them to her . My oldest is 10 and I still love to read to her , and she loves it too :>) Once she decides , then book a field trip . Maybe she may want to work in the social services field if she likes to help others :>) There is a learning opportunity . As much as I love books , they can only give so much . Sometimes it takes you and getting out there to show her that this BIG HUGE world we have is full of opportunities for her . There is no need to tell her that she needs to do more . You can by example show her and whatever decisions she makes in the future is totally up to her :>) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielle Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 These are great suggestions, and I hope a few more people will respond with books, etc. Let me just say that I don't think it's lack of a stated professional aspiration that is so sad here, but the lack of any aspirations or believing that good things are possible for her that breaks my heart. As I said, I can't go into the specifics of the long history of abuse, drugs, abandonment, etc. that has produced such lack of faith in the future. This child is very interested in the outdoors, art, history, in fact everything we've been doing together. She has straight Fs in her school, but grandmother cannot yet pull her out due to the legal situation. I'm praying this will change and I can do more with her in the future. It's almost as if she doesn't believe she'll live long enough to make any plans, and (outside of her grandmother) she's never seen the example of making plans and carrying them through to success. But we can all get wonderful experience from that of others via books, so that's one way I'm trying to encourage her. It was particularly hard today, because last week we had the whole day together as her regular school was on spring break. Today she starts back afternoons, and she was begging me not to bring her back to school. We have been doing field trips, but often I just have time in the morning (amidst math, Megawords, some grammar, and some history/science) to do a little reading with her, so I want that reading to be effective on several levels--reading fluency practice, but also sheer information on history or science or scientists, hopefully in an inspirational way. I'm trying to do double or triple duty--skills, information and psychology in 3 hours! So good suggestions for books are really appreciated. I can't use with her what my dd did, because dd could whip through a mountain of stuff, while df (dear friend) can only handle a bit at a time. She's such a good kid, if you knew her you too would want to take her home and try to make the world better for her. Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Girl of the Limberlost may be a little much for an 11 year old, but it is a beautiful story of a young girl with an extremely difficult mother. I second getting her involved in some animal volunteering. And the lists of videos given are really good, too. Do you think a medical check up for depression is in order? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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