S--L--O--W Moving Child

[paojava]

Is there ANY way to teach a child to move faster, not dawdle, not procrastinate? Might be helpful to throw in some "follow directions" too?

 

My DS7 is S-L-O-W. He moves slow, does things slowly, just takes TIME to do everything. Even eating dinner. Like 30 minutes after my husband and I are done eating, HE is still eating.

 

HOW DO I GET HIM TO MOVE??????

 

He is just on his own timetable. I don't mind if he stops to smell the roses, but most of the time he is oblivious to the roses and everything else around him. I can be standing there with five bags in my hands and ask him to open the door for me and it takes him FOREVER to get there. And then I drop stuff and the cat gets out and the dog gets in my way...and he is standing there like "why don't you put the bags down?"

 

It is so annoying. And no, there are no known learning issues. Is this just BOY?

 

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[justamouse]

Not that I've found.

 

My Dd is slow, just like yours. The thing is, her father is that slow. I always tease him that someone would yell fire and he'd be out of the chair by the time the house burnt down. BUT he's also pretty brilliant and has a focus that makes him excel at what he does. He's not meant to do anything fast. What he does slow is his God given talent.

 

That said, to this speed of light moving person, it is the one thing that drives me batty about them both. But they survive me zipping around them and I remind myself slow and steady wins the race. LOl @ the eating. My MIL tells stories of her mother yelling at her father to see if he was finally done with dinner. So, it's inherited. It makes for a nice enjoyable dinnertime now that I'm used to it.

Edited March 24, 2010 by justamouse

[farmwife]

I have one just like yours. Sorry no help, I am constantly encouraging him to move faster, stay focused, etc. I am praying he grows out of it.

[IsabelC]

Aren't most kids like that to some extent? I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that he is on his own timetable. Kids just don't, for the most part, fully get why adults are always rushing to get things accomplished. Many of them tend to be far more focused on the the journey than on the destination (to use a well-worn cliche).

 

I'd suggest the traditional line of "picking your battles". Decide on some times or areas where you can exercise your patience and let him take all the time in the world. Then work on the other bits, the areas where you can't (or don't want to) let him do it kid-pace. We got sick of dawdling over meals: they would muck about and play for 45 minutes over one bowl of cereal or fruit and then whinge that they were still hungry if we cleared the table. Now we set the timer on the microwave. For a light meal I set 20 minutes, for a bigger meal it's 30. Once the timer rings, the food is removed.

 

Another thought I had (ignore if this doesn't apply to you): many parents get frustrated with being held up by dawdling kids, yet we habitually dawdle ourselves and hold them up. We tell them it's time to leave somewhere, then get caught up chatting for 10 minutes when we go to say goodbye to the other mom. Or we say "just a minute" and spend 5 minutes checking our email. At least, I know I do that kind of thing. I wonder whether a bit more mutual effort to avoid making people wait unnecessarily might be helpful?

[Kathie in VA]

:lol:

Oh I have a boy that's slow also. I call him molassas, although sometimes I think he moves slower than molassas! But, he is a smart one.... so maybe there's something to that idea.

[momto2blessings]

If it's getting too long and he really needs to be moving, I set a timer. Say 5 more min. to finish dinner and clean his plates (when he's practically done and has had PLENTY of time to eat and it's a very reasonable request). 10 min. to clean his room, etc. When I first started there was a consequence to not finishing by the time the timer was down, but now I just say I'm setting it. When we're moving on to a new activity I try to give a few min. warning to finish up whatever he's doing. I know how frustrating it is! How can it take 30 min. to go to the bathroom? :) Gina

[hsmom27]

It's just nice to know I'm not the only who has one of these! ;) It'd be nice if someone would chime in and tell us the kids outgrow it!

[thowell]

I have another!! dd9 is slow at everything! We tease her because she was even born 5 days late!! lol But as others have stated this girl is smart! She blows me away with things she knows and remembers. I have just had to learn that this is her way! I can not make her anything different and I'm not sure I would want to.

[robsiew]

Raising my hand with a slow boy here too! He's a smartie too so maybe there is a connection! I've tried timers... that works to keep him focused to some extent. I also let him do some of his work at night in his bedroom before bed so that he doesn't have as much to do in the morning (I'm dealing with a night owl as well) and that really helps. If he only has one or two things left and then his work with me he has a better morning. Ultimately, what has worked for me with the school work is to make sure we get everything that he needs me for done when I want it done. Then I really don't care how long he takes after that. He doesn't play his video games until his school work and chores are done so sometimes that's a motivation, sometimes not.

 

As far as other "life" things... as other posters mention I've had to adapt. My hubby is slow too. It's not all bad... the only time it really bothers me is if we're late. Even then, in almost 15 years of marriage I've learned it does little good to get upset.... just makes all of us ornry...:001_smile:

[scrapbabe]

It's not just a BOY thing, cause I have three boys and only one who is slow. If they don't grow out of it - I actually think it could be a good trait. Sure, it's infuriating now, but when he's older he won't "leap before he looks". He'll be the kind of person who thinks something out before just diving in. He won't just follow along with the crowd - he'll walk to his own beat. He might be more relaxed and laid back - not getting too stressed. I try to see how my boys' "little quirks" will serve them well as adults.

However, my son has anxiety and OCD as well - and that is something I'm trying to help him fix. That's won't be a good attribute to have when he's grown.

 

Smiles,

Shalynn

[Blossom'sGirl]

I'm hanging my head in shame but I've resorted to bribery. I have a bag of jelly beans which I only dole out during school. For instance, I tell them to finish a page, or whatever assignment, in a timely manner and they get a bean. My oldest, who usually is a fast worker, has started asking for them too. I have well-sugared children.

 

I do also have a written schedule of assignment for each day so that ds can see "the light at the end of the tunnel." I think he sometimes gets overwhelmed by his work and just kinda gives up. It also helps to have him near me to ask questions when needed.

[paojava]

I am so glad that I am not the only one...and that hopefully this means he IS super-smart (which I have always thought anyways) :)

[3byzaz]

Oh my gosh - amazing! My 7 yo is like this too and he's smart! I have three boys. The first is very quick. The second was very slow, but has gotten better. The third is super SLOW!! Thanks goodness he is cute too and super sweet. He also asks a MILLION questions and likes to make messes and build stuff all over. He has been wanting to build a REAL roller coaster - in our backyard!! I'm not kidding! This weekend, he was going to build a REAL computer printer - out of what, I'm not sure...but he was going to do it. It's such a fine line between discouraging him and trying to extol some sense of reality to him!! Did I mention how sweet and super cute he is!!?? :001_smile: