BULLETIN: DH to consider HOMESCHOOLING

[PenKase]

Imagine that!!!

 

I figured this topic deserved it's own thread.....Hola!!

 

Backstory: Long story short....maybe. Since the time when our now dd9 (almost 10) was in ps first grade and I was first introduced to The Well Trained Mind, I fell in love with and was completely sold on the idea of homeschooling. I've been home with the children since the very beginning and was already successful in educating them as soon as they showed readiness.

 

However, long before my accidental yet fateful encounter with TWTM that one fine day, it was actually dh who planted the "we can educate them at home" seed. Before then I was absolutely sure that our children would be public schooled, no questions. At the time I felt quite unqualified to teach them anything related to school. The idea of homeschooling was absolutely unheard of to me and an even more unheard of to the people in our community. It simply wasn't done. Period. I was just as happy to give my children over to the schools system. After all, isn't that what those brick and mortar structures full of experts called teachers were for? I was absolutely convinced they would know much more when it came to their education. I skeptically agreed to teach dd and we began using HeadSprout Phonics' online program (sidebar: it was also dh who suggested Headsprout....he works in education and knew the original owner) . Dd took the lead and I just followed. We were already used to weekly library trips, museum trips, zoo trips, park trips and picnic lunches. We sang our ABC's and 123's, and the like. After a while with our routine I gained more and more confidence and found it completely natural to provide extensions to her learning, as long as she was ready, of course.

 

Now, back to the fateful WTM day. We had been afterschooling dd at this point but there was always the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that always told me that homeschooling would be a better fit. I was sure of this as much as I was sure that mothering was and is the most important thing I will ever do in my life. I came to view as homeschooling as a natural extension of our already enriching family life. What people are more qualified to teach their children than their own parents who would have been their primary teachers until they reach school age? The more and more I thought about it, the more and more I convinced and empowered I became(helped along the way by TWTM, of course). I was so passionate (almost the point of obsession) about the idea and I assumed dh would be as well. In the ten years we've been married, we have always done things differently, a little bit unorthodox. We are happier people because of it and we feel our children have benefited as well. We have always shared the same parenting philosophy and agree on almost everything when it comes to our family.

 

Imagine my surprise and yes, tears of frustration when he absolutely against homeschooling!!!! I was devastated. Here I was in a state of utopia and then to feel defeated and deflated. He was so adamant in his convictions not to homeschool that I just couldn't go against him. After all, he is their parent too and I have to respect his views even though I may not like them. We agreed that the "happy" medium would be to afterschool. I have gone along with it every since.

 

Fast forward to the present and here we are with dd6, finding ourselves in quite a predicament. For quite some time we'd been fighting with the school district to get dd accelerated from K to 1st but the feeling in the pit of my stomach has been telling me the whole time to stand firm and present dh with the reasons why this kid may just benefit from a home learning environment.is has gotten ever so strong and screaming at me to defend my position on homeschooling once again. On and off during the years, dh and I have entered in some heated debates over homeschooling. What has sparked this sudden turn of events you ask? A cocktail of living in NJ, being pounded with lots snow, added to that a lot of time off from school, and mix with leaving dd with a lot of time to ponder the what if's. This past Friday dd had a complete meltdown (the spends a lot of time thinking about how the world works) and essentially begged us to homeschool her. She says she likes it a lot better when mommy teaches her and doesn't understand why I can't homeschool her because we "sort of do it anyway when we do smartwork (dh's coin term for afterschooling). She likes what she learns at home and once she "learns something she can move on to learning something else." In school, even in first grade, she has to "wait on the whole group (25 kids in the class.....our school has the biggest class sizes in our district) the kids are meaner than in kindergarten, and they still act silly."

 

Of course, I have to leave the room because my eyes are welling up with tears. Since the beginning of this school year, dd has been feeling tortured in the school setting and I am absolutely convinced that she will continue to flourish at home, given the opportunity. We've been doing well so far.

 

I'm glad dh was home that day to hear dd first hand tell in her own words how she feels because I think that has convinced him to ponder the idea. Just this morning he told me he is 50/50 sold on the idea. He would like me to come up with a "snapshot" of what our homeschool days would look like. I get that. Needless to say I've been planted in front of the computer not only putting together a schedule but also gathering curriculum choices, articles, posts from these message boards, NJ State Law on Homeschooling, booklists, homeschooling groups/co-ops, teacher "professional" training (to show him that I intend to educate myself further as well), etc. I've been a maniac in the cyberworld for the past couple of days! Someone on the curriculum boards said that dh's need to be sold on facts and not emotion. I think my husband will respond better to just the facts.

 

Any advice, suggestions, concerns would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I've been riding on a rollercoaster since early September. I'm getting dizzy.

 

Thanks in advance. I tried to keep this short didnt' happen. Forgive typos and run on sentences. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.

[Rosie_0801]

Yay for you! Yay for your whole family, in fact.

 

Perhaps present your schedule to your hubby in chart form. Pages and pages of closely spaced text that he won't want to read probably won't help your cause :001_smile: My chart has grade level down one side, subjects across the top and filled in boxes. Since your hubby is in education, he might like to see a tentative plan for waaaay into the future so he knows you've thought about your goals.

 

Good luck!

Rosie

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My eyes were welling up when I read your post. I could have posted about 85% of your post myself. I, too, felt the same way after reading TWTM, but dh is adamant about not homeschooling.

 

I hope your conversation goes well and that everything works out the best possible way for your family.

[Mommee & Baba]

I think you are doing a tremendous job on getting your ducks in a row! I praise you for that!

 

I remember when I first starting talking homeschool with my dh. He wasn't keen on the idea until he found out the children's kindergarten was across town and it's required, but we have one family car. He drives it one hour away everyday to work. So we talked homeschooling as our "temp" option. However as the preschool and kindergarten years came to an end I pre-registered our oldest for 1st grade with the academy she was with the previous years and dh looked at me silly but I mentioned that I felt it was the right thing to do. After awhile he understood that I was home during the day and it was more of my decision as I'd be doing the "schooling". However we're now on our 3rd year of homeschooling and I've pre-registered both dd's once again with the academy we've been with from day 1 of homeschooling and he's been supportive. In the back of his mind he's ok with public schools, however I'm opposed..nearly completely. I look at not only the teacher and children ratio, but the learning schedule that is required by the school and not by the child's level and I look at peer pressure and such things.

 

We now have a dedicated area in our home for school things and my dh understands the idea now. If he wants them to attend public school I told him that the good Lord would have to take me because as long as I can, I will homeschool the children. :lol:I'm only kidding partly..hehe..My dh has a say in the decision of our children's education when it comes to materials and such things..hehe!

 

The only request my dh has made now is if we'd not take up the entire office with school books..:tongue_smilie:

[Tree House Academy]

While it will be wonderful for you to get together all the "facts" for your dh, don't be surprised in that first year, if things change immensely. My dh never had to be "sold" on the idea of homeschooling. It is what he wanted for us all along. He actually introduced me to the family that got his interests sparked. It helps that his bosses wife (high up in the company as dh is pretty high up himself) homeschools their children. He is meeting more and more people who homeschool and I am actually finding that lots of professionals have chosen homeschooling for their families. :)

 

The thing I am cautioning against is the "plan." Since your dd is still very young, this may not be an issue. We took my older son out of PS after 3rd grade and even though he was a straight A student, the gaps were TERRIBLE. I have found myself switching curricula more than once because of this. Just make sure your dh knows that you will be changing anything that doesn't work for your children. My dh thought that once we picked one, we were "done" and that is not how I felt about it at all. I think that has really been the only thing we struggled with in regards to homeschooling our children.

 

Best of luck to you as you begin this wonderful journey!

[gingersmom]

Where are you in New Jersey?

 

There are no rules for homeschooling in New Jersey. Send a letter to the schools principal/superintendent and tell them your child will not be returning to school. Thats it!

 

I think its HSLDA that has a form letter you can send the school. It cites all the appropriate case law.

[AngieC]

That's great! I've been following your other post since my daughter is in the same boat as yours with regard to cut offs (although we have a more accomodating school district!). My dh wants to try PS, but if he doesnt' like what he sees, I think he will be more willing to consider HS as an alternative.

[PenKase]

Thanks for all the kind words and insight!

 

Rosie-I agree with your idea of presenting dh with a schedule. I have a pretty good idea what materials will be used through the elementary years at least. I can definitely come up with a comprehensive plan that will appeal to dh.

 

Scrappy-I can relate to almost everything you post here! I think we may be living in parallel universes. By no means has dh hopped over the fence but my persistence, the evidence we see in our dc each day, testing, grade acceleration ordeal, and with severe budget cuts heading to our already under performing school district dh cannot continue to ignore the hard core evidence. I am not a religious person but I have meditated and contemplated this topic for a long time. I can only have faith that what happens is supposed to happen. I wish you luck in your journey.

 

Mama-Unfortunately, we've been kinda stuck with public school since the beginning. We have always lived on one income and the alternative and private schools in our area are very expensive. Also, I'm just not convinced that our dc will be able to receive a better education than at home. Thanks for sharing your story. It's great to hear that you have other options other than public school. I've been scouring these boards the past few days and it always makes me happy to hear of people making homeschooling work. All the best to you and yours!

 

Rebecca-you share sound advice. Fortunately for me, dh isn't so much stuck on the details. However, he wants to see for himself what homeschooling in our home would look like. I have no doubt that he trusts my judgment when it comes to planning, putting resources together, and/or abandoning ship when something just isn't working (i.e. Singapore Math....looks a lot easier than it is....somehow I just can't wrap my mind around how to teach it even with the HIG's....that's another story altogether though). We live in NJ, he works in NYC. He's pretty much gone all day and tremendously appreciates and continuously applauds the effort and dedication I put forth in researching, planning, and implementing. He just doesn't have the time for the datails. He trusts that I will pound thoughts and ideas into opportunities to better our children's lives. He is continuously amazed at the rate in which our children continue to evolve as individuals. The fact that they show increasing growth socially, emotionally, and academically is extra icing.

 

Christina-You've go a good point! I know for sure that socialization, potential lack of structure, parent/teacher/child relationships/conflicts, familial objections, and just the unknown (we don't even know any families who afterschool let alone homeschool) are all factors in dh's hesitations. I've been working on showing him evidence to help alleviate his fears.

 

Gingersmom-I'm in Central Jersey, Somerset County. Yes, I know the homeschooling rules in NJ are lax and it's super easy to disconnect from ps but dh doesn't so I want him to see for himself.

 

Angie-It's great to hear you have more flexibility with your school district. It really helps the advocating process when the administrators are willing to work the the parents. Good luck to you!

 

 

What I find that drives me in the direction to homeschool is the unwavering faith and belief that that we can, should, and are ultimately responsible for the future of two precious beings whom we have been entrusted to help find their own geniuses for the purpose of making this world better than how they found it.

 

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

Thanks for your advice once again. I will ponder all that has been said.

 

Ciao

 

P.S. I'm thinking I should start thinking how I can shorten my posts.

[samba2nite]

I hear ya sister...TWTM did it for me too. I wish I could dedicate more time to following the path it lead.... keep us posted!