CathyCDK Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 It would be great to meet other homeschooling families that are also foster parents so we can pray for one another and provide encouragement for our unique challenges. We have been fostering for just over a year. We take children from age 0 to 7 years, and concentrate on sibling groups. Right now, we have a sibling group of 3 children that are 2, 3, and 5. Blessings, Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 My husband and I are interested in becoming foster (to adopt) parents in the next year or two possibly. Do you both also have children of your own? How does that work if you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samba Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 We are fostering a 14 month-old boy. He's been with us 8 months. We've also had a few short-term placements since then. Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 We are fostering a 14 month-old boy. He's been with us 8 months. We've also had a few short-term placements since then. Carolyn Is it challenging for your biological children to understand? How do they handle if the children go back? We have a foster to adopt program here in NC which means you get children who would most likely be up for adoption at some point but there are no guarantees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in Austin Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 We got our license last week. (No placement yet, but I jump a little every time the phone rings.) We can take up to 2 kids, ages 0-4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 My husband and I are interested in becoming foster (to adopt) parents in the next year or two possibly. Do you both also have children of your own? How does that work if you do? "children of your own" can have different meanings for many. In our home we've 5 children of our own now. Our license is currently maxed out although our case worker has assured us if the need arises again we will be called regardless. Three of our children came to us through private infant adoptions. And two of our children arrived via the foster care program. Our children are all part of our forever family as of May this year. I've had no experience if you're reference is biological children. As we've added to our family our youngest was always the newcomer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 We are licensed for ages 5-12, but so far have had only one respite placement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixie Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 We used to be until we moved out of state in August. once we know whether we will stay in this state or move again next summer we will go through the licensing process again. We will take kids from 0 to 7-8yo. I am hoping for a sibling group of 2 again. 2 is our limit, I would take more but dh doesn't want to have more than 4 kids including our 2 bios. Our 2 girls are totally on board with doing it again, my oldest has been asking over and over again when we will become foster parents again, she loved her little brother and sister who stayed with us for 6 months a year ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 "children of your own" can have different meanings for many. In our home we've 5 children of our own now. Our license is currently maxed out although our case worker has assured us if the need arises again we will be called regardless. Three of our children came to us through private infant adoptions. And two of our children arrived via the foster care program. Our children are all part of our forever family as of May this year. I've had no experience if you're reference is biological children. As we've added to our family our youngest was always the newcomer. I mean any of your children that are living at home...Have you ever had to give back a foster child? If so, how has that affected the other children in the home and you as the foster parent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 We used to be until we moved out of state in August. once we know whether we will stay in this state or move again next summer we will go through the licensing process again. We will take kids from 0 to 7-8yo. I am hoping for a sibling group of 2 again. 2 is our limit, I would take more but dh doesn't want to have more than 4 kids including our 2 bios.Our 2 girls are totally on board with doing it again, my oldest has been asking over and over again when we will become foster parents again, she loved her little brother and sister who stayed with us for 6 months a year ago. How did your children handle giving the children back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaS Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 (edited) I mean any of your children that are living at home...Have you ever had to give back a foster child? If so, how has that affected the other children in the home and you as the foster parent? I can help with that a little. I have 3 biological children-ages 7, 6, 4 and one recently adopted ds 4. My oldest 3 have been through 3 placements so far. Our first, was strictly fostered. She was with us 10 months. We miss her a lot and still talk about her to this day. My kids were sad-the girls cried when she left, but they were so happy she got to go home to her mommy. Our second placement was our ds we adopted. And our third placement was a newborn. She was with us 6 months and then was placed with her siblings in an adoptive home. We cried again, but now we're eagerly waiting for the phone to ring. My bio kids were 5, 4 and 2 when we got our first placement. I'm not so sure my youngest even remembers a time when we weren't fostering. They love having more kids in the home. They understand that it's temporary and that we're just helping out until the child(ren) can go home. We are licensed to take in 2 children in addition to our 4, but we will probably only take one since our van will only hold one more person. Oh and we take in 36 months and under-AA girls. So, our placements aren't back to back like a family that takes a broader age range might get. As for how it affects us-there is a grieving process. I get so attached to these kids. They are like my own flesh and blood. So, sending them home is heartbreaking, but I trust that God's will be done. I pray that we'll eventually be able to adopt again, but that remains to be seen. Edited December 8, 2009 by RebeccaS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 I mean any of your children that are living at home...Have you ever had to give back a foster child? If so, how has that affected the other children in the home and you as the foster parent? We did have an adoptive placement fall through when our oldest was 18 months old. She doesn't remember her. It's hard for us though because when we're looking back through the album we have tons of photographs of her time with us before her return home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCJessieRN Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 We did have an adoptive placement fall through when our oldest was 18 months old. She doesn't remember her. It's hard for us though because when we're looking back through the album we have tons of photographs of her time with us before her return home. I think that is my one hesitation. My children are old enough to remember and I also think I can't imagine loving a child and raising him or her as your own and then having to give them back. I don't know how I could handle such a situation. But, I feel like this is something the Lord is leading our family to and I know He is in control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 We just let our license expire after 5 years of foster parenting. We adopted one child of the many who came thru our home. Our son was 4 when we began and yes, it was difficult on him. Despite the rules and regulations saying that we would lawys have 2 weeks notice before a child left, we never even had 24 hours. Sometimes he didn't get to say goodbye and that was tough. Sometimes it was hard on him to understand why mommy was suddenly very busy with another child and why was that child breaking all the rules??? Was it always difficult for a child to return? Yes and no. Yes because I fell in love with all of them. No, because in a couple of cases they were returning to wonderful parents who were caught in unfortunate circumstances (Like the time the baby had a bone broken by a grandparent and it took some time to determine the truth. Those parents were delightful.) Another time though a baby was returning to an awful situation and I was just heartbroken. We also had to deal with children who had Reactive Attachment Disorder and that was a small nightmare at the time. And no, we were not supposed to be taking in children with severe emotional needs but the social worker lied to us about their background. One piece of advice we received was to only take in children younger than your youngest child. We found that was good advice as even 4 and 5 year olds can come in very street smart and with a lot of issues ready to take advange of our fairly innocent, un-exposed child. We stopped due to the stress on our son and the fact that we were able to adopt our dd after 2 years of her being here. We needed an emotional break. After our kids are much older - like high school - we will most likely renew our license and begin again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CathyCDK Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Our biological girls are 8 and 9 1/2. They have totally embraced being a foster family and fall in love with the children as much as we do. They have become very aware of the fact that many kids don't have safe, loving homes, and they try very hard to show them how our family works. We have learned to love the kids every day like it's their last with us because we never know when they will be taken away. We have had kids unexpectedly and suddenly go home with as little as 2 hours notice. Every night I put the kids to bed means they didn't go home that day. We make sure that we have a picture of every child, and we still keep them in prayer after they have left us. We do still miss them, and we do still cry at times. But we know that God is in control and we are part of His Plan. Foster parenting can be very emotional and difficult. Without minimizing the challenges, I have found that my attitude plays a huge role in how hard it is. When I am feeling entitled to recognition for all we do by the state or biological parents, or anyone else sometimes, or I concentrate on how we get little respect from the state, or the sacrifices we've made to have lots of kids in our home, it's easy to be resentful and that makes it easy to be short on patience. However, when I am prayed up, and just focus on His calling for us to show these kids His love, and impact them for the time we have, and let all the garbage roll off my back, foster parenting is a huge joy! We've just passed our one year anniversary, and what a learning experience the year has been! I can say that the training was valuable, but it didn't totally prepare us for what we'd face. There is also a difference between how we are trained things will go, and reality. Being flexible and having a willingness to work in partnership is key is not becoming jaded. In the end, what really matters is the children, and none of the difficulties are their fault. But they are resilient, and we can be too! Blessings, Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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