I am considering shifting my dd down a grade - advice appreciated

[Tam101]

You could call her a 4th grader this year, a 4th/5th grader next year, and a 5th grader the following year? This way she doesn't get demoted, she simply doesn't progress as quickly.

:iagree:

[Leila]

ok let me rephrase my answer. Demoting...punishment ...going down one level...no matter how you put it and explain it to a young child, she will be not see it good. Just continue doing/ progressing her with rest of the subjects and focus on math. You can just tell her you will have to review math and make sure she gets it. So she can be Grade 5 next year but behind math which you can eventually catch up. So this doesn't look like punishing her. All the works/subjects progress but math must be given priority. A lot of parents here have children that are advance in math but they don't advance their kids with their grade level and just move along. I think the same formula applies to you. You don't have to put her to the lower grade but continue and then just give more time for her math skills to progress and eventually catch up which I know will happen.

But whatever you decide, I know it will be the best for her and even if all the women here may give you so many advice ... we don't know your kid and you know her and you know what is best for her.

[Mom0012]

Well, my son did 2 years of kindergarten and I have no regrets at all. It has helped him both academically and socially. He is "younger" like your daughter and really does so much better being one of the oldest in his grade level rather than the youngest. I think it is a little harder to do this at your daughter's age, but I think you got some good ideas about stretching each year out to 1 1/2 years so that you can do it gradually if you want.

 

I hope it works out!

 

Lisa

[elfgivas]

is this for placing her in school or for homeschooling? if its the latter (and having read most of the thread, i think it is), then i would simply call her whatever grade you've been calling her, and let that be that. we've used the grade dc would be in a public school, regardless of what level work they are doing. over the years, they've been all over, as we've gone in depth on things that captivate one of them, and that simply takes time. then, they go miles ahead as if in their sleep it had all solidified for them.

 

ie. i'd say teach her where she is at, and ignore the numbers. if at 17 she needs another year of something (or anywhere along the way), hopefully you'll both know and can adjust the curriculum accordingly.

 

we haven't encountered this with any of ours, but with two of our 4 dd, i would simply say "it makes me sad that you cry over math. would you like to slow down a bit and see how it goes? maybe we could take 3 years to do 2 years of work..." you might be surprised by what she says....

(with the other 2, the personalities would not do well with that conversation at all ; ).

 

good luck!

ann

[kmacnchs]

I'll just chime in to tell her she is in 5th grade next year. If she was in PS and she was behind in math, she would still be in the 5th grade, she would just be in the lower-leveled math group (or class if they switched). If any subject would hold a student back in PS, it would be English, and that's not normally until hs - but she is NOT in PS so no reason to make her feel any less than she is!

[daybreaking]

I remember reading a book from Rod and Staff that addressed the concerns with self esteem that stem from retaining a child, but they pointed out that moving a child on when they are not ready affects self esteem just as much. If your daughter is struggling, especially on an ongoing basis, I would think that could be more harmful than keeping her back a grade. Our son was young for his grade and we struggled with the decision to delay first grade, but I'm so glad we made the decision to give him another year. (We did similar to the 4, 4/5, 5 route in that we did K, K/1, 1.) I have a feeling if you give your daughter the extra time, she will thrive. Since both you and your husband feel this is best, I would go with your gut. On another note, I was young for my grade (late October birthday) and thus started college at 17. In retrospect, I would have been much, much better off having started school a year later.

[LadyAberlin]

I don't think that anyone thinks you are a lunatic or are trying to punish your child. I think people are worried that your daughter might perceive it as a punishment. I'd just hold her back in math. I was homeschooled and we were all over the place in grade levels. I guess I would just give her the level of work she needs in each subject and just call her grade by her age.

 

I really can't believe the posts that make it sound like I am considering torturing my child!

 

I have a child who is VERY YOUNG for her age and is struggling in math and crying year after year because grade level work is beyond her. It has NOT gotten better over time.

 

How can it be mean of me to consider holding her back a year??? I am trying to help her feel comfortable and do work that she can "get."

 

I can understand posts supporting keeping her in the grade and just helping her catch up because you think that it will all work out in the end, BUT REALLY, ENOUGH with the posts that make it sound like I am a lunatic who will hurt her child if I hold her back a year.

 

I am trying to do what is best for my child - this is not a selfish desire!!!

[kmacnchs]

I really can't believe the posts that make it sound like I am considering torturing my child!

 

I have a child who is VERY YOUNG for her age and is struggling in math and crying year after year because grade level work is beyond her. It has NOT gotten better over time.

 

How can it be mean of me to consider holding her back a year??? I am trying to help her feel comfortable and do work that she can "get."

 

I can understand posts supporting keeping her in the grade and just helping her catch up because you think that it will all work out in the end, BUT REALLY, ENOUGH with the posts that make it sound like I am a lunatic who will hurt her child if I hold her back a year.

 

I am trying to do what is best for my child - this is not a selfish desire!!!

 

I posted after you posted this but re-reading mine, it probably sounded like I was judging too so SORRY! My dd struggled BIG TIME the 2nd 1/2 of the year in Abeka K Math but was already reading on a 1st/2nd grade level so I was struggling in a similar fashion. We plugged away until we finished Abeka K Math and then went to Saxon 1 Math (WAAY easier). Could you maybe find an easier math curriculum for her in the same grade so she could get review and build up her confidence? This is what Saxon is doing for my dd and math went from tears and frustration to excitement!

[LadyAberlin]

I posted after you posted this but re-reading mine, it probably sounded like I was judging too so SORRY! My dd struggled BIG TIME the 2nd 1/2 of the year in Abeka K Math but was already reading on a 1st/2nd grade level so I was struggling in a similar fashion. We plugged away until we finished Abeka K Math and then went to Saxon 1 Math (WAAY easier). Could you maybe find an easier math curriculum for her in the same grade so she could get review and build up her confidence? This is what Saxon is doing for my dd and math went from tears and frustration to excitement!

 

:iagree: I think something like Teaching Textbooks might work for something like that. Since it seems the consensus is that it may be a little behind and kids seem to really enjoy it.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

BTW, I was a young student. I skipped K and went to 1st grade at 5. This was AWFUL for me. I was always younger than all my "peers" and I knew it. I kept up academically, but not socially, and felt I never fit in. I went to college 3 months after I turned 17, and that didn't work out well either. So, if you know that she's young at heart, take the opportunity to fix her grade level now. I wish my parents had done it for me.

 

:iagree: I could have written this. Being the youngest wasn't so much of a problem when I was in elementary school, but it became harder socially as I got older. If I were you, I'd sit my daughter down and say, "Daughter, I'm so sorry, but I made a mistake. You are X years old and should be in X grade. We're going to go ahead and fix this problem. Here are some ways we can do that--" (and then give her some of the options mentioned above such as having a 4/5 year)