Homeschooling with depression?

[Mommy22alyns]

I need to know I'm not alone. Surely there are other moms out there struggling with depression, even with medications, and homeschooling. How do you handle the bad days? Sometimes I question everything. How do you keep your chin up and know that even with your own problems, homeschooling is still best for your kids?

 

I've just been having a hard time lately and need a little support. :sad:

[Cheryl in NM]

My son is older so he can work indepently, but even so, on my bad days I can hinder his learning. I take Pristiq and it is working better than other meds I've tried over the years. I think something that has helped me in the past is to focus on what I need to do and make myself do it. I have to work with ds on some lessons so forcing myself even when I don't feel like it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Taking a walk, even when I don't feel like it gives me a feeling of accomplishment.

 

So my advice would be to focus on things that need doing and make yourself do them. Then, make yourself count those things and don't get upset over what didn't get done. There were days when my only accomplishment was getting dressed. The dishes have piled up for a week and I didn't cook for longer. There have been really bad times. You have to give yourself credit for the tiniest accomplishments. I hope you feel better!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[neveryoumindthere]

You are most definitely not alone. Typing one-handed feeding the baby but wanted to send *hugs*

 

I'll be back

[Sue G in PA]

:grouphug: You are certainly not alone. It seems like it sometimes, I know. I have btdt. I AM there right now. I fight depressions every.day. I am on medication and after months of trying out different types and combos...I finally, with the help of my psychiatrist, found a combo that works. I see a therapist weekly. My therapist of a year just moved to AZ...which put me back into the pit for a long time. I'm just climbing back out. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat. I will give you my phone number. I truly believe God has me going through this storm so I can support and help other women who are going through similar situations and storms. I'm not 100% better, but I am getting there with God's help, the support of my awesome dh, friends, my new therapist, new psychiatrist, etc. Some days I don't want to get out of bed. Some days I make it out of bed but can hardly stand to "do school"...so we go to the library or we cuddle and read books or watch an educational DVD, or do art instead or put on worship music and dance and sing and call it music. Some days are better and I feel creative and alive and capable of "doing it all". No, I'm not bipolar...it's not THAT kind of an extreme. I had to stop blaming myself for everything bad that goes on in my family..kids fighting, hitting, dh feeling tired and down about his job, lack of finances, not doing "enough" for school, etc. It's not all my fault. We had to put my 3 oldest back in ps b/c this past year was really hard for me. I thought about suicide a lot, went to a 3 wk. outpatient clinic in July and my therpapist decided, along with dh that my load needed to be lightened. Neither of us are happy with them being in ps, but it's what we had to do at the time. I'm hoping to be better enough and stable enough to bring them all or some of them home next year. Some practical tips: Make time for YOU. EVERY night if you can, do something for YOU, away from the family. Take a walk, a hot bath, go to the library, have dessert with a friend, whatever. Even if it is only an hour. That helped me tremendously. As for homeschool...make sure you are not trying to be supermom/teacher and doing too much. If you have to focus on basics for a time and just let your kids read history books or have dh do a fun experiment with them on Saturday or do nature walks for science...DO IT! They will not be scarred for life. If you have to send some or all to school...don't beat yourself up. It's not forever...I keep telling myself that. Anyway, PM me and we can chat. You are not alone and you WILL get through this. :grouphug:

[Jeanne in MN]

I take Celexa and do much better compared to what I was without it. I can't speak for others, but it got to be too much and I had to get help. The antidepressents worked wonders. But I also can see when I'm getting more down and have to work at fixing that. Generally, I can get more depressed if I don't see people, then I need to know I have GOT to get out and see people. If the same boring routine gets me in a rut and feels depressing, we need to take a day off and go do something fun. It's crucial for me to find a balance! Without it, I am not a happy person.

 

Don't know what to tell you about how it affects your hsing-only you know how bad it is. Off hand, I'd say, give it time, get yourself whatever help you need to help get you out of this and keep plugging ahead. Even if you just do the bare mininum for schoolwork for now, at least you are getting something done and can feel some success.

 

You are not alone!

[elizam]

I understand. I deal with a lot of issues that feel beyound my control, including special needs in my child(ren?).

 

When things get too hard, I remind myself how much *more* depressed I have been having to deal with one in PS. I have regretted that move ever since we did it 4 yrs ago; issues were exacerbated.

[Pip]

I completely understand. I am on prozac for PMS, but I suffered a nervous breakdown last year. I am now able to manage it with supplements and exercise except for PMS, which can hit at any time given that I am in the middle of peri-menopause. I am just now at the point where I know it will pass. I try very hard to step back and try not to do too much interacting with people like dh because I know I can lash out at him unfairly during this time. The medication puts you in a better place to be objective as you go through this. I am just extremely sensitive to most medications and I have had bad side effects from most of them. Prozac is the best for me, but I still suffer extreme fatigue while on it.

 

You are definitely not alone.

[swellmomma]

I battle depression regularily. Sometimes I win the battle sometimes the depression does. For me a couple things come into play, I self monitor rather closely, as does my dd. I know when things are slipping too much when dd asks me to call the dr and ask for my "happy pills". I don't get the sadness etc part of depression typically I get really irritable and aggressive. My ds's behaviour and my depression go hand in hand. I don't know which one sets in the cycle in motion, but he gets more defiant/out of control, my depression worsens, I do not respond appropriately, his behaviour gets worse. It spirals like this until I get back on the meds and then we slowly rebuild. When I am having a really really bad day typically one or more of the kids is too, I scrap the book work and we play board games, or read, or watch videos, or simply get out of the house for a while.

 

Right now I am dealing with a particularily bad bout. Previously I turned to my mom for support when things got bad, but this time she threw it in my face and called me a child abuser because I complained I was so overwhelmed I felt like I was going to snap (nervous breakdown snap not hurt the kids). She and I are not talking at all at the moment. I went back to the dr and got a new prescription, then hit my favorite teacher store and bought 7 new board games (grammar and math ones mainly). For the time being, until the meds are built up in my system enough to be working well, we will be doing lapbooks and playing board games rather than doing our normal work. That should keep everyone busy, and happy while I work out what I need to on myself.

 

Having had the kids in ps before, and dealt with depression and all their special needs within the school system I know that without a doubt even on my worst days they are doing better than they were back then. I do worry that I am doing them a dis-service none-the-less because I know that if I was mentally well I could deal with their mental issues much better. The academic part isn't of a huge concern at this point in time for me, it is getting all of us back onto a more even keel mentally/emotionally.

[kat19]

You are not alone :grouphug: :grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

I am not the least bit convinced that homeschooling is best for all families, at all times.

 

I need to know I'm not alone. Surely there are other moms out there struggling with depression, even with medications, and homeschooling. How do you handle the bad days? Sometimes I question everything. How do you keep your chin up and know that even with your own problems, homeschooling is still best for your kids?

 

I've just been having a hard time lately and need a little support. :sad:

[momtoboys]

Okay, from the "other side" of the fence. . .

 

I was homeschooled for my last two years of high school. I had a bunch of younger siblings, the youngest being babies/toddlers.

 

My mom was EXTREMELY depressed during this time (I won't go into great detail. . she needed obvious help and medication, but refused.)

 

I was homeschooled, only in the sense that I taught myself. I also ended up doing a lot of the raising of my younger brothers and sister, and homeschooling them as well. . .

 

Don't homeschool if you can't be the parent and teach your children, and care for them properly.

 

That said, I understand that it is very sad and hard to be struggling w/ depression. Depression is both circumstancial at times, and a disease/health condition. Many people get depressed. It is a good and noble thing to recognize this, seek help and treatment, and w/ God's help try to climb out of the depression, though it may take time. :grouphug:

[Cammie]

Right there with you. Recently started thinking it is time to go back on Celexa - I have been off it for about 4 years now. I just feel...that everything is spiraling out of control, not happy with myself and how I am dealing with things, just want to crawl into a hole somedays and hunker down with a good book and avoid everyone and everything.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Mommy22alyns]

I am not the least bit convinced that homeschooling is best for all families, at all times.

 

 

Neither am I. That's adding to my struggles. My depression could make PS preferable for my kids... how do I know though?

[Sue G in PA]

I had to pray a lot about it. It was a tough decision. My dh and I went rounds about sending the kids to ps. He almost enrolled them mid-year last year against my will. Wasn't pretty. In the end, we waited and discussed it and finally decided that my oldest 3 needed to go back and the younger 4 would stay home. It isn't ideal. I want ALL of them home. But it has given me a much needed break this year. Teaching 3 is so much easier and the group dynamics of my house have changed with my oldest gone most of the day. I feel more "competant" and long to bring my oldest home, but for now...it is what it is. Are you seeing a therapist? I talked to mine a lot about it. Are you on meds? They do help me a ton. It is a tough decision and you need to make the decision that is best for EVERYONE...including you. I pray you are able to get the help you need and begin feeling better soon. Again, please don't hesitate to PM me if you want to chat. I do know where you are b/c I've been there.

[LibraryLover]

Neither am I. That's adding to my struggles. My depression could make PS preferable for my kids... how do I know though?

 

 

What if you are able to get some assistance? A friend, a partner, a hs support group? A thoughtful therapist? A paid babysitter? A housekeeper a couple of times a month? A gym membership with child care? Have you considered meds? At least temporarily? What about dropping all curric (your kids are babies) and focusing on nothing but being together; reading, watching movies, going to the zoo, for walks, to the library, just hanging out? Are you able to get yourself and the kids up and out at all? Are you able to invite hs friends over once in a while if you can't get out? What activites give you the least stress?

 

If you and your family are suffering, it's time to look at all options.

Edited November 16, 2009 by LibraryLover