********* Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 So when Moose was born, my dh and I made a (surgically permanent) decision to not have any more children. Neither of us were truly saved when we made that decision. We both now regret it. We don't talk about it much; it's very difficult for me to bring up. My heart aches for another child; but I know the decision we made was foolish (for us; not saying it's foolish for everyone, you understand), and that it's only right that dh and I should have to live with the consequences. Anyway, I've been praying about it a lot lately, begging the Lord to either take away the desire for more children, or else give me more children. Or at the very least, comfort me in my grief. I know that sounds childish, in a way. But I'm just so grief-stricken over it sometimes, I don't know what to do. And I don't really want to keep telling my husband how sad I am about not having more children. It just seems pointless; like I'm just trying to drag him down into my sadness. So a few nights ago, dh and I were talking before we went to sleep. We were discussing our boys, and how great they are. Just talkiing about little things they did that day that were precious. And I said something like 'I wish we could have another one.' Well, dh pulled a shocker on me; he said 'once the older children are out of the house, we can look at adopting'. (Dh has a 15yo daughter and a 12yo son from a previous relationship.) I think I must have looked like this. :001_huh: We had NEVER discussed adopting before. Ever. I just always got the 'vibe' from him that adopting was something he was not even open to. Anyway, I realize it's like 6 years away, and dh said we could 'look at' adopting. And my dh is the sort of man that won't want to discuss it at all for several years; until it's even a possibility. He's sort of easily overwhelmed with the children, and really can't see having more than four children in the house. But I just feel like it's the comfort I so deparately needed from the Lord. It made me think of the verse: Luke 2:19 - But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Just wanted to share my joy. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Praying it all works out for you - I'd be pretty excited too. I've had those "Mary" moments too.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 :hurray: :hurray: Our God is an awesome God isn't HE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 :hurray: :hurray: Our God is an awesome God isn't HE! Amen sister, He certainly is. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 You know, I just went back and re-read my post. And I'm worried that it sounds like I'm just waiting for my stepchildren to turn 18 so I can have some more 'real' kids. I just wanted to add that I love my stepchildren deeply. They were VERY young when dh and I got married (4 and 6), and I have a great relationship with both of them. I think any stepmoms on here will undertand when I say that it wasn't ALWAYS great, but the stepkids and I genuinely love and respect eachother now. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I won't be dishonest and say I love them 'just like they're my own', 'cause that's just not true. But I love them as equally as my own, if that makes sense. Just didn't want to give the wrong impression. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 You know, I just went back and re-read my post. And I'm worried that it sounds like I'm just waiting for my stepchildren to turn 18 so I can have some more 'real' kids. I just wanted to add that I love my stepchildren deeply. They were VERY young when dh and I got married (4 and 6), and I have a great relationship with both of them. I think any stepmoms on here will undertand when I say that it wasn't ALWAYS great, but the stepkids and I genuinely love and respect eachother now. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I won't be dishonest and say I love them 'just like they're my own', 'cause that's just not true. But I love them as equally as my own, if that makes sense. Just didn't want to give the wrong impression. :001_smile: That never crossed my mind - no worries. It really sounded like you are just thrilled that your dh is open to the possibility of someday adopting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyoSylvia Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 That never crossed my mind - no worries. It really sounded like you are just thrilled that your dh is open to the possibility of someday adopting. :iagree: You sound like a great mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I could have written your post myself. Seriously the part about step kids and all. Keep praying for God to reveal himself to you and for Him to get all the glory in whatever happens and you will get what He wants you to have. Adoption is a wonderful thing especially when you think of all the children without families. I wish we had the finances to adopt but I guess that is not God's plan right now. Here is wishing you the best and putting you on our prayer list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 So when Moose was born, my dh and I made a (surgically permanent) decision to not have any more children. I'm not sure if you or your husband had the surgery, but just to give you some hope - my mother in law had her tubes tied on medical advice after having 4 children in 4 years. She was a deeply religious woman and eventhough she had "permission" (or a dispensation or whatever it is called) to do it, I think she felt badly about it. Well, 10 years later, my husband (in his gamete form) made it through the tubal ligation and surprise!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 How exciting! As an adoptive mom, I am excited for you. I know when I felt God speak to my heart about adopting, I expected my dh to say "no." He told me to call the adoption attorney and just see what the process was, in other words to check into it. Ten days later I had a newborn baby girl in my arms! I won't go into all the details, but God can do amazing things. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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