Women/Men Stumbling/Dressing (CC)

[TravelingChris]

I am a Christian but I have a really big problem with what I see as legalism about dress. By the way, I don't wear low cut/skin tight/peel off jeans type clothing. For the most part, I think most Christians would see me as dressing modestly except some who think my head should be covered, or I shouldn't wear jeans. But then I get to my 16yo dd. If she puts on clothes that fit, she looks wonderful. I didn't have her body when I was younger and didn;t know many people who did. She basically has a model's body although she isn't as tall. The way some people talk, just because God made her that way, she really ought to be in oversized burka like clothing because some man may be stumbling. She is a very shy girl and there is no way I am adding to that and I hope no else does either by taling about clothing and stumbling. She doesn't wear revealing clothes. But it really irritates me that some fellow Christians would be condeming her for basically having a nice, slim but curvy body. Oh and she doesn't like to show cleavage at all.

[KidsHappen]

I can relate. I have two girls that have bodies to die for. It doesn't matter what they wear, they are going to look GOOD! But I can only work on them, their dress and their body image. I know what members of the opposite sex may be thinking but as long as they mind their hands and their comments well then they are really not my concern.

[*********]

I am a Christian but I have a really big problem with what I see as legalism about dress. By the way, I don't wear low cut/skin tight/peel off jeans type clothing. For the most part, I think most Christians would see me as dressing modestly except some who think my head should be covered, or I shouldn't wear jeans. But then I get to my 16yo dd. If she puts on clothes that fit, she looks wonderful. I didn't have her body when I was younger and didn;t know many people who did. She basically has a model's body although she isn't as tall. The way some people talk, just because God made her that way, she really ought to be in oversized burka like clothing because some man may be stumbling. She is a very shy girl and there is no way I am adding to that and I hope no else does either by taling about clothing and stumbling. She doesn't wear revealing clothes. But it really irritates me that some fellow Christians would be condeming her for basically having a nice, slim but curvy body. Oh and she doesn't like to show cleavage at all.

 

Christina, I totally hear where you're coming from.

 

This year, I've lost 60 pounds. I finally have a figure again. In fact, a nicer figure than before I got pregnant with Zee. But I've shared with my husband that I'm struggling.

 

You see, when I was really big, I just wore big baggy clothes. I was always 'modest' in my mind; covered up, nothing tight, etc. But added to the clothing was the fact that I just didn't think anyone was looking anyway, ya know?

 

Well now, I have a figure. I still dress modestly (and I do wear a headcovering). But I am a bit overly aware of the fact that I have an attractive figure now. (Not trying to brag, 'cause it ain't all that great; just trying to be honest.) It's kind of strange. I guess now I'm even MORE aware of trying to be modest than I was when I was heavy, if that makes sense.

 

Of course, I'm not saying that no men find bigger women attractive. Just that I feel more attractive at the weight I am now, so I'm more *aware of it. Does that make sense?

 

Either way, I say modesty in dress is something between a wife, the Lord, and her husband. As long as a Christian woman is being honest about what the Lord is convicting her on, and she's honestly seeking to please the Lord, and her husband is comfortable with it, that's all the 'rules' I think we need.

[mommaduck]

The way I see it....You and your hubby set the standards for your home based on your views and faith. In as much as you would not want someone calling you liberal or legalistic for your standards, don't apply it to others.

 

Honestly, I've been on both sides of the fence and regardless where you stand you will ALWAYS be more liberal than one person and more conservative than another.

 

BTW, I headcover and wear skirts. I don't trip out and my dd will occasionally play in pants as she has a severe allergy to certain unavoidable plants in our area. Oh, and I wear makeup and jewelry also. So yes, I get the mud from everyone....how dare I dress so "legalistically" (why, because I'm not wearing what you wear?)...how dare I listen to Peter, Paul, and Mary and their awful liberal folk music! (rolleyes). You'll never win constantly worrying about other people or defending yourself. People have opinions, but you set your own standards. My FIRST concern with your children would be are you teaching them character and grace. I have seen some girls in one church that were ostracised for the way they and their mother dressed (a bit revealing, mostly fashionable...they couldn't even win in a turtleneck, floor length split skirt, and knee high boots). But to be honest, I got along with them great...loved those girls better than the snooty "we dress modest" girls that would strut their stuff on the weekends when no one was looking. Naturally I was avoided at first because of how *I* dressed...but you know, they learned also not to judge by what someone wears. I loved the conversations with that set of teens. They had a lot of insight and caring about them...they had common sense on most of life. But they were still kids and they dressed according to the standards of their home, not mine. How dare I if I had judged them on their clothes. Now if asked, and I was once, if I felt something was too much, I told them, but I told them in comparison to other things I'd seen them wear, not according to my own family's standard. And it was a judgement on the item, not them.

 

I probably rabbit trailed, but hopefully you get my drift.