WWE ArGh! Stupid narrations!

[Wee Pip]

Whenever my almost-9yo dd understands the method of a new curric, she finds the "catch" to it, to get around doing the work. So here's what she's doing with WWE...

 

I read an Aesop's Fables & ask comprehension questions. Then I ask for her to summarize the story in 3 sentences or less. She knows that one of these sentences will be given to her as copywork or dictation. So she gives me 7 very short sentences instead, about 4 words long each:glare: And then she composes it as a song, grrr.... So then I say, "Ok, let's work on combining these sentences so that we can have 3 longer sentences out of these 7 short sentences." She goes limp and doesn't contribute. Any contribution on her part is utterly and completely stupid. So today I said "fine. Here is MY narration, but you have to copy the entire thing, instead of just one of your sentences." She had a cow. I decided to make her do it tomorrow (since I am teaching 2 kids & juggling a baby, my patience is NOT THERE). I agreed to let her write someone a birthday card instead, but then copy my narration tomorrow. I told her if she is afraid to write, then she needs to write more to overcome it. She admitted, "I'm not afraid to write, I'm just lazy and don't want to do it."

 

Argh. How do you handle a child like this? Send them to school???:banghead:

[LibrarianMom]

We're using Aesop's Fables for WWE too or at least are planning to.

 

I'm not sure if this will help but a long, long time ago while I was student teaching I needed to teach HS students how to combine sentences. What I did was take a children'sstory and then had groups of students re-write the short, choppy sentences into longer sentences. It was successful and I was able to publish an article about the activity. Maybe you can have her write down her short sentences one day and then re-write into more sophisticated sentences the following day. Hopefully, the idea of having to do the work twice will convince her to do it right the first time.

[JudoMom]

Whenever my almost-9yo dd understands the method of a new curric, she finds the "catch" to it, to get around doing the work. So here's what she's doing with WWE...

 

I read an Aesop's Fables & ask comprehension questions. Then I ask for her to summarize the story in 3 sentences or less. She knows that one of these sentences will be given to her as copywork or dictation. So she gives me 7 very short sentences instead, about 4 words long each:glare: And then she composes it as a song, grrr.... So then I say, "Ok, let's work on combining these sentences so that we can have 3 longer sentences out of these 7 short sentences." She goes limp and doesn't contribute. Any contribution on her part is utterly and completely stupid. So today I said "fine. Here is MY narration, but you have to copy the entire thing, instead of just one of your sentences." She had a cow. I decided to make her do it tomorrow (since I am teaching 2 kids & juggling a baby, my patience is NOT THERE). I agreed to let her write someone a birthday card instead, but then copy my narration tomorrow. I told her if she is afraid to write, then she needs to write more to overcome it. She admitted, "I'm not afraid to write, I'm just lazy and don't want to do it."

 

Argh. How do you handle a child like this? Send them to school???:banghead:

 

Since she's not following the directions, I would have her keep trying until she got the three sentences. Or I might have her copy all seven sentences. Or I might have her copy all seven sentences and then the three that she was originally supposed to give me.

 

Laziness isn't a viable option. She would be following the instructions to the letter until her attitude improved. No negotiations, period. And if she didn't do it, it would be treated as disobedience and there would be consequences.

[lionfamily1999]

Since she's not following the directions, I would have her keep trying until she got the three sentences. Or I might have her copy all seven sentences. Or I might have her copy all seven sentences and then the three that she was originally supposed to give me.

 

Laziness isn't a viable option. She would be following the instructions to the letter until her attitude improved. No negotiations, period. And if she didn't do it, it would be treated as disobedience and there would be consequences.

:iagree:

[Guest]

:iagree:

:iagree:

[lovemykids]

Laziness isn't a viable option. She would be following the instructions to the letter until her attitude improved. No negotiations, period. And if she didn't do it, it would be treated as disobedience and there would be consequences.

:iagree:;)

[abbeyej]

I agree with JudoMom... Also, it sounds like she *knows* that you are tired and harried (understandable with her defying you and another child to teach and a baby), and she's using that as a weapon. Exhausted and lacking in patience as you are right now, I still think it's worth the time to Lay Down the Law with this child. "You may sit here at this table until you write three correct sentences." Her world *stops* until she obeys and does her work (without kicking the table, stomping, snarling, etc). No playing with friends. No fun after school activities (I would take her directly to soccer practice or ballet lessons, etc, but immediately after she comes straight home and straight back to that same chair)... If a mealtime is approaching, let her know that she will be having a slice of cheese and staying in that seat unless she has done her work...

 

Yes, it's a huge pain for you. Absolutely. But well worth it to your sanity in the end. And it's doing her no favors to allow her to learn to manipulate you so she can be lazy and get out of (very reasonable!) work.

 

Now maybe there are also some small treats that can appear *occasionally* in your world when work is done in a timely manner with a good attitude. I would wait till she has completed her work in a timely manner for a few days. Then casually mention in the morning, "You know, ice cream sounds really good to me! If everyone is done with their work and has a good attitude today, maybe we could stop by DQ and get cones this afternoon. But we'd have to do it before the baby's nap, so we can only go if *everything* is finished by _[time]_. I know you can do it though!" ... I wouldn't advocate daily bribes or anything, but it's nice for kids to see that on occasion something fun can happen if they're working efficiently. You might also talk to your daughter about how her resistance sucks your energy away, and you just don't have it in you to plan fun things for after school when she has made the morning such a battle. But if she consistently works with you, you're more able to divert attention and energy to planning little fun things, even when they're just a trip to the park, etc...

[Amber in AUS]

You have already had some good advice. Is this something that she tries on across the board? If so then maybe you need to look at some habit training. Working on habits like haste makes waste and giving your very best effort the first time in every aspect of life might help her with her school work too. Maybe if you provide some commentary on when you are doing a task and making your best effort and why, she might start to realise that you need to follow the instructions and do your best all the time.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

:iagree:

 

:iagree:

 

And I agree with Abbey that she knows all you've got on your plate and she's using it to her advantage.

 

I realize none of us are always reasonable (child or adult) but I still attempt to explain even to my 3 yo that the more he fools around, the longer it takes and more unpleasant it is. There is satisfaction in doing a job properly and simply doing it takes a lot less effort and time than procrastinating, fooling around and having a fit about it. I hope yours comes to that understanding for her own benefit.

[HollyBee]

Whenever my almost-9yo dd understands the method of a new curric, she finds the "catch" to it, to get around doing the work. So here's what she's doing with WWE...

 

I read an Aesop's Fables & ask comprehension questions. Then I ask for her to summarize the story in 3 sentences or less. She knows that one of these sentences will be given to her as copywork or dictation. So she gives me 7 very short sentences instead, about 4 words long each:glare: And then she composes it as a song, grrr.... So then I say, "Ok, let's work on combining these sentences so that we can have 3 longer sentences out of these 7 short sentences." She goes limp and doesn't contribute. Any contribution on her part is utterly and completely stupid. So today I said "fine. Here is MY narration, but you have to copy the entire thing, instead of just one of your sentences." She had a cow. I decided to make her do it tomorrow (since I am teaching 2 kids & juggling a baby, my patience is NOT THERE). I agreed to let her write someone a birthday card instead, but then copy my narration tomorrow. I told her if she is afraid to write, then she needs to write more to overcome it. She admitted, "I'm not afraid to write, I'm just lazy and don't want to do it."

 

Argh. How do you handle a child like this? Send them to school???:banghead:

 

OMG I could have written this post TO THE LETTER about my just-turned-nine yo son. No advice from me, just know that you're not the only one. :grouphug:

 

I'll be watching this thread for advice, too. The replies so far have been very helpful for me!

 

Holly

[Haiku]

How do you handle a child like this?

 

Have her copywork be all seven short sentences. It adds up to one long sentence anyway.

 

Tara

[Colleen in NS]

Whenever my almost-9yo dd understands the method of a new curric, she finds the "catch" to it, to get around doing the work.

 

She admitted, "I'm not afraid to write, I'm just lazy and don't want to do it."

 

Argh. How do you handle a child like this?

 

Well, if you can hide in a closet for a few minutes, you can have a good laugh - she sounds like a very smart child! Revel in that, and then buckle down to the other good advice here.

[Wee Pip]

Thanks all!

She's always been like this: secretly smart, but making me think she has a learning disability. It was really something to hear her admit it was laziness (with a smug smile on her face). I've debated on whether it was a matter of "can't do" or "don't want to do". Since K, I've wondered if she were LD, but just when I'm convinced of it, she proves me wrong. She's always been intelligent but slow to wanting to do things (just ask me about reading back in K-2nd, ugh! But now she's a voracious reader) There are times she writes wonderfully, and then next goes limp and says "I can't do it". Well, it's just laziness and now I know! I'm really struggling today. I'm in tears over our homeschool today. Almost 9yo cried over math, 7yo over spelling, & baby won't sleep longer than 5min intervals, with lots of overtired screaming in between. So today I let writing go, I'm having a pity party, and hopefully I'll buck up and get tough tomorrow.

[HollyBee]

:grouphug:

 

I recommend chocolate. :D

 

Tomorrow is another day...

 

Holly

[Tam101]

I can totally see my son trying something like that! I've noticed lately that, while he still complains, his complaints have less passion behind them and he ends up doing the assignment at an acceptable pace instead of dragging it out for an hour or more. He actually acts like he is enjoying math and is willing trying to improve his handwriting! Woo Hoo! Keep after her. She'll surprise one day and get on board!

[Heather in VA]

Oh I have so been there. And believe me, the hard line approach that so many have offered seems like so much effort and so exhausting. And it is - for a time. But when I really laid down the law, it really turned things around. I had a problem last year with my middle one. She learned after much pushing and suffering, that it just wasn't worth it anymore and she needed to just do her work the way I expect it to be done. And this year I am having a terrific year. Not that I don't have days - my 6 year old is going to be on Ebay by the end of the week LOL - but it is so worth taking that stand, even if it means it gets worse before it gets better.

 

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

 

Heather

[siloam]

Thanks all!

She's always been like this: secretly smart, but making me think she has a learning disability. It was really something to hear her admit it was laziness (with a smug smile on her face). I've debated on whether it was a matter of "can't do" or "don't want to do". Since K, I've wondered if she were LD, but just when I'm convinced of it, she proves me wrong. She's always been intelligent but slow to wanting to do things (just ask me about reading back in K-2nd, ugh! But now she's a voracious reader) There are times she writes wonderfully, and then next goes limp and says "I can't do it". Well, it's just laziness and now I know! I'm really struggling today. I'm in tears over our homeschool today. Almost 9yo cried over math, 7yo over spelling, & baby won't sleep longer than 5min intervals, with lots of overtired screaming in between. So today I let writing go, I'm having a pity party, and hopefully I'll buck up and get tough tomorrow.

 

 

(((Sarah)))

 

My oldest did something similar yesterday. I was reviewing orally some math she had already done in a workbook and she melted down and insisted she couldn't. I refused to budge and we had crocodile tears (not this girl is 11.5-grrr). Finally I told her I was setting the timer and the rest of the time it took for her to gather herself and start working on the problems she would be sitting in her room that night while her siblings were watching TV. I didn't even have to set the timer before she had the first one figured out. She did the rest without comment.

 

Not this child does have writing issues, is probably slightly disgraphic. She can't trace a straight line or draw one to save her life. I do make some allowances for that and limit her writing. When in 4th I went from oral narration to her writing the quality and quantity went downhill, but she still included all the main ideas (the heart of the assignment) so I let her get away with it. Over time she started to put more effort into it again. Now I allow her to do her writing on the computer and she does an excellent job. As you can tell from the above math is another topic. She actually on a day to day basis really tries hard to do quality work, but she really doesn't like the review I am doing right now to make sure she got the topic, so she fought me on it.

 

It will get easier/better as the little ones get bigger. Hang in there, stick to your guns, and just keep swimming...

 

Heather