woolybear Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 so when ds,6, starts getting that weird hyper energy, and both ds argue over who gets to sit where on the couch while I read aloud to them, and one or both whines or bickers or doesn't do what I ask easily, pleasantly or basically I'm just having one of those days (as I am right now) and I am thinking of how we are not even close to making ends meet right now and I could be out working, making money AND not having to hear their bickering,etc. and thinking this isn't better for us and blah, blah, blah.............Sorry for the huge run on, but that is how my brain is working. This is our first week. Day one went well. Day two, eh. Day three, ugh and then better. Today....there's still hope. I have said to ds every day, I think, if you really want to hs, this has to change, etc. Because I can go out and work and you can go to public school. He's not changing his side much and this is definitely not how I want to deal with things, I am just frustrated and since we are so feeling a financial squeeze right now, it feels a bit hard to justify. I am looking for part time work, but if my hours were more flexible it would be easier to find something. I know, I know, I'm just venting and there is definitely a deeper commitment here. I just like to be reminded by all you wise women why we do this. Right now I'm just taking a break and regrouping. I can tell it's helping. I thought of calling a hs friend, but this is good too. Thanks guys. Thanks for understanding. (If you do.:001_smile:) Woolybear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Here's a good reason... Because if they behaved like that at school, it could go on their record. Unlike you, who expects your kids to act up at times, school systems can see that as a pattern of behavior and end up pigeon holing your boys into the 'naughty' catergory. :) Aren't you glad you homeschool? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in Central TX Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I have said to ds every day, I think, if you really want to hs, this has to change, etc. Because I can go out and work and you can go to public school. He's not changing his side much and this is definitely not how I want to deal with things, I am just frustrated and since we are so feeling a financial squeeze right now, it feels a bit hard to justify. I am looking for part time work, but if my hours were more flexible it would be easier to find something. Based on the above quote, it looks like you are putting a lot of responsibility on your 6-year old. Basically, your situation would improve if only your son would change. If your financial situation doesn't improve, and you do need to go back to work, your son will bear unnecessary guilt. In my opinion, you need to determine if your goal is to homeschool or to work. Some people do both, but I'm not sure if that's an option for you with today's economy. I grew up in a home where money problems were placed on the kids. I still carry emotional baggage from the weight of the responsibility I felt as a child, but I had no power or means to fix it. I know it's tough right now, but financial problems and/or decisions are made only between my husband and myself. We don't take them to our boys. Also, I think you need to have consequences for the behavior that your son is exhibiting that you don't want. Just telling him he'll go to public school isn't working. Whining and complaining is not tolerated at our home. There are consequences that work for my boys. Your home is different, but the discipline needs to be in place and followed through every single time. Most school days are not perfect around here, but on those more challenging days, I think about the long-term goals we have in place. If it's a particularly hard day, I go out for a walk by myself when my husband gets home, or I even head to Starbucks for a much needed coffee (decaf, of course). Please do not take this response as condemnation. I just have personal experience, and your post struck a strong cord with me. I could have misread your situation though. FWIW... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thanks for understanding. (If you do.:001_smile:) :grouphug: Boy do I! I sometimes get that feeling just about being a parent, much less being a homeschool parent. I remember last year we had a particularly rough day (to be fair - I wasn't at my best either, it wasn't just the kids!) and I was so frustrated that I called the kids' dad and told him that in hindsight maybe we should have just stuck to dogs. Who are predictable and easy. He flew in that weekend and gave me a few days off. It really helped to get that downtime to clear my head and re-focus on myself and my goals. Plus it's always nice for him AND the kids to see The Flip Side of things :D So now when we have the occasional rough day, I remember to make time for me. Even if it's just a 20 minute hot bath behind a locked door, or putting the kids in front of a movie so I can make a 10 minute phone call to my best friend. It's about just forcing even a few minutes of downtime for myself so I can regroup. And as a working and college student single mom it's not always easy to find time, but I realized I had to make it a priority. So that I wouldn't eat my kids before they reached adulthood. Find a few minutes of private indulgence. And know that they'd drive you up a wall even if they weren't homeschooling :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Whining and complaining is not tolerated at our home. There are consequences that work for my boys. Your home is different, but the discipline needs to be in place and followed through every single time. :iagree: Most school days are not perfect around here, but on those more challenging days, I think about the long-term goals we have in place. :iagree: If it's a particularly hard day, I ..... Mommy down time is very important. I try to make time for exercise because it's a great stress reliever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I have said to ds every day, I think, if you really want to hs, this has to change, etc. Because I can go out and work and you can go to public school. I understand how you feel. :grouphug: However, I would not recommend threatening putting him back in PS based on his behavior. I don't know the details of your situation but I think he needs to know that you are committed to HS for him to also be committed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolybear Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thanks for all your thoughts. I will reply more later. Just wanted to say that I am not putting the responsibility for our financial troubles on the kids, though it did sound that way in my post, I guess. There are consequences here for behaviour, but they don't seem to be having much effect lately for younger ds. I know I am also burnt out and stressed out. Maybe sometimes my expectations are unreasonable for him too. Sigh.......I see that some things that might not have bothered me previously do right now, so that is part of the problem too. And, Momoflaw, you are right about my being committed to homeschooling (or maybe just committed, lol) for him to be too is right on the money. I guess some of these weren't the responses I was expecting, but thanks for putting me in my place. This is what I needed to hear. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find.....you get what you need." Woolybear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 (or maybe just committed, lol) I've thought that of myself often. I think it's just motherhood... at least that's what I tell myself, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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