Please explain something to me

[Mandy in TN]

We did this. Actually more. I was earning more than dh. My entire cheque went to pay mortgage, property insurance & property taxes. All other expenses came from dh's cheque. And then we made do without my paycheque & everything had to come out dh's. After we paid mortgage etc, there was not a whole lot left.

 

It was tough but I'm ruthless on budgets & this was an important decision for our family & I was determined to make it work.

 

This isn't to be judgemental or hurtful but rather to give encouragement.

This was us as well. After I had ds #3, I didn't return to work.:ohmy:

 

But we knew it was coming, prepared accordingly, pulled the kids out of private school to homeschool, and reduced everywhere we could. Also, we do live in middle TN, so while our income is very small our cost of living is small compared with other areas of the country.

 

I can't imagine what would happen if dh lost a huge chunk of his income unexpectedly.

 

Mandy

[Mandy in TN]

In response to the OP, this is another vote to take the job and keep looking. This is also another vote for him to look for a second part time job. Dh is working two jobs. He is also working 6 days/ week.

 

If you can, look for a part time job also. I work at the Kumon Center 3 half days a week for $10/ hour. It may not sound like much, but it is convenient and it does help. Can you take in some children to babysit?

 

I understand the fear of ending up in a trailer. I guess I would do it if we had to (and I know that some people do it as a life style choice), but boy I sure wouldn't want to. I like my nest and I would be sad to lose it.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[MariannNOVA]

and I do agree that it stinks! :thumbdown:

That being said, the vast majority of the work force right now has not been through a downturn such as this and it is like a bucket of cold water in the face, and I daresay, incredibly frightening.

Your DH should definitely accept the offer -- I cannot imagine how many applicants UPS had, and he should jump at the chance. It IS easier to get a job when you have a job; additionally, you dh will make contacts and meet people and we all know that to some extent, it is not what you know but who you know -- especially in a soft job market.

Some suggestions: contact your mortgage company and see about a loan modification -- (I taught with a woman who had to do this) - the mortgage company will sit with you and go over your budget and you will agree on a do-able monthly payment until DH is back in his 'real' profession - be it one or two or three years.

Clear off the dining room table, make sure DH's resume is perfect, and create 'JOB CENTRAL.' One of you will spend hours sending out resumes, scouring classified ads, searching employment sites of local companies...he can't get hired if they don't know he's looking!

Do you all belong to a Church? Many Churches have funds for just this sort of situation -- and, there may be someone in your Church who would be a great networking person with some copies of DH's resume in hand. At the very least, your church should be able to help with food costs and perhaps utility costs.

I only read quickly that you have 4 dc -- would you consider providing after school care for one or two kids? That would put some cash in hand.

I am sorry, and I know how awful this is -- I would consider bankruptcy ONLY as a last resort...right now, at least, there are mortgage programs that are set up for this type of contingency and you may as well take advantage of it. Bankruptcy becomes difficult if your DH needs a security clearance or something like that for a future position and cannot get the clearance due to the bankruptcy filing.

We went through something when Dh's company was taken over and the compensation packages were 'reworked.' This happened three years ago -- two days before Christmas Eve, DH walked in with his paycheck -- it was for $11.87...........I kid you not. The reponse by HR to the hundreds of individuals whose packages had been 'reworked' was: if you don't like it, then leave.

Take the UPS job, and leave no stone unturned. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!

[Osmosis Mom]

These kinds of comments are really hurtful. Maybe some positive suggestions to the OP of ways she could cut expenses would be helpful, but a 2/3 pay cut would be nearly impossible for *any* person to take, & if her house can't be sold, I'd venture to guess they actually *can't* make it on that income.

 

It's easy to become judgmental of people making so much more $ than we are, but if I look at our own income & imagine 2/3 cut, I have more compassion. Maybe OP *will* be able to find enough things to cut, but even that will be a shock to their lifestyle, which at 60K, isn't likely to be extravagant.

 

Hurtful comments? When you are living through this kind of economic situation -and surviving- then it is easy to sound sarcastic....

 

I totaly commiserate with the OP about the disgust of being offered a job so much lower on the totem pole. It stinks. Just yesterday dh and I were lamenting over the unfairness in wages for people in sports/entertainment vs. educated people (but I am digressing here...).

 

You guys will survive. Expenses will be cut to the bone. Showers will be short and less frequent (saves heat and water), milk goes with cereal, no juice, rarely ice cream, beans and rice for dinner, no activities or enrichments for the kids, and an appreciation for wearing the clothes till they look ragged...

 

But if you are healthy and have a great family, then this is just one part of life and your account won't have to decide your happiness for you. You'll find joy and satisfaction in small things in life and hopefully will be out of this situation soon enough, wiser and more compassionate.

[FO4UR]

Part time Sup's at UPS get full health care benefits - weigh that when you consider taking the job. Some areas make you wait a full year though....:glare:

 

It will be a stepping stone and not the final destination....and full-timers at UPS do VERY well $$-wise, atleast in my area. IDK what your dh wants to do, but that's a thought if you guys can rough it through some skinny months.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[elw_miller]

It really depends on where you live. 15 years ago, I was making about $28K as a single person and qualified for low income housing.

 

Lisa

 

I agree--it really depends on where you live. I made a little less than that as a starting teacher in Iowa about 5 years ago. It was a fine salary there, but it would not have worked at all in AZ (where we lived for awhile) where perfectly normal ranch-style houses in perfectly normal middle class neighborhoods were going for a perfectly outrageous $300,000 or more!!

 

Would this job tide you over until he can get a better job? It may not pay the bills in full now, but can you dip into an emergency fund until he can get a better job?

 

I hope it all works out for your family soon. :)

[phathui5]

It's more than just "hurt feelings"; unless they have a ton of equity in their home, taking a loss means that they would still owe the remainder of the loan. How exactly would they pay it?

 

We have that problem with dh's car. He was laid off, so we can't make payments on it. But we owe more on it than we can sell it for, so we can't sell it either.

[mommaduck]

We have that problem with dh's car. He was laid off, so we can't make payments on it. But we owe more on it than we can sell it for, so we can't sell it either.

We finally called the lender and told them to pick up our second vehicle (which means we can no longer go anywhere as an entire family unless we walk or use transit...the van isn't big enough, but is paid off and gets hubby to and from work). They sold the car at auction and then revamped the loan into a new loan for what little was left, lowering the amount we pay per month by half. Counts as a repo, even though we called them. But it's still temporary on our credit and it got us from under the payment.

[Guest]

 

You guys will survive. Expenses will be cut to the bone. Showers will be short and less frequent (saves heat and water), milk goes with cereal, no juice, rarely ice cream, beans and rice for dinner, no activities or enrichments for the kids, and an appreciation for wearing the clothes till they look ragged...

 

But if you are healthy and have a great family, then this is just one part of life and your account won't have to decide your happiness for you. You'll find joy and satisfaction in small things in life and hopefully will be out of this situation soon enough, wiser and more compassionate.

 

:iagree:

 

:grouphug:, you're not alone, girl!

 

And I'd definitely take the job...jobs, even low-paying ones are few and far between these days.

[JudyJudyJudy]

That isn't quite true. Well, I should say, it might have changed since we declared 10 years ago.

 

I feel like I have to explain myself here. We worked VERY HARD to get back on our feet, made sure all payments were on time, and made sure some was tucked away. But we bought a house within three years and then were able to get financing for the company building. So, it all depends.

 

Not necessarily true. My BIL racked up the cards then filed bankruptcy. We paid off a bunch of debts. Guess who has the better credit...he does.

 

...which is why I said "the possibility."

 

Right now even people with excellent credit are having a difficult time getting credit, so those with poor credit are going to have a more difficult time than those in the past did.

 

As for jobs, many companies will not hire you if you have a bankruptcy (for example, many insurance jobs, many government jobs, and many others). I've noticed recently that even peon jobs are doing credit checks.

[Supertechmom]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

We have been there!!!!!! And are still there. We were making roughly 60k and dropped to less than 20 and stayed there for months and months and months before things begin to go back up. We couldn't find another job, we couldn't sell the house and move anywhere that would have been lower than our payments, and we were just stuck. STUCK!!! All the job offers were just horrible and nothing compared to what we were doing adn didn't cover our bills. He is starting over unless he just gets really really lucky. Yep pay is going to be low. Yep it's going to be hard and culture shock and just awful.

 

But you can do it. You will survive. We have a UPS hub around here. They only hire pt first. THey only promote from within. He might start pt todya nd in a couple of months move into full time. Does he have an end date on the job?

[MariannNOVA]

 

As for jobs, many companies will not hire you if you have a bankruptcy (for example, many insurance jobs, many government jobs, and many others). I've noticed recently that even peon jobs are doing credit checks.

 

Government positions require a security clearance - even the lowest level security clearance will likely not be granted if there is a bankruptcy on the person's background check -- and if the individual is applying for a position (and I am not talking about just the government here) that has anything to do with finance, accounting, payroll, a bankruptcy will totally put them out of the running for that type of position - Private contractors will not hire an individual if their background check indicates that the contractor will not be able to secure a clearance for that individual.

It's best to try to mitigate the situation using some other means than bankruptcy -- especially since right now there are some modification programs out there.

[Renee in NC]

My dh has been unemployed since April, and that is right in line with what he is finding with the high end maybe being around $13-$14/hr. Many of these jobs will not discuss pay until they make an offer. Many of these jobs require a 4 year degree. I guess it's more than unemployment, but I understand it not being enough to meet your monthly obligations. I don't have any answers, just know you're not alone.

 

Have you gone over your budget with a fine tooth comb? Is there anywhere to cut? We have pared down to the bare minimum, and I might be looking for work soon.

 

Janet

 

First, to the OP - :grouphug:

 

What's really bad is the people who *use* to make $13-14 an hour are now making $8 - my dh can't get a job at $28K because there are so many better educated people looking right now. He doesn't have a degree (and never will.) He is managing a liquor store at $8 an hour, no benefits, no paid holidays, no sick days. It just stinks, but it is better than nothing. He can't get hired at place like Lowes or Home Depot because of his credit (funny - just a year ago it was 740!)

 

Wages are set by supply and demand and you take what you can get. Our rent will be $700 a month for a 30 year old, 1300 square foot trailer, but that is because my mother owns it. In exchange for below market rent, I am spending my days cleaning, painting, putting in flooring, and repairing it. It isn't a great place (some of you have already heard the roach infestation story), but I am making it a home.

 

We get gov't assistance (which I HATE.) The hardest adjustment has been paying for activities for the dc - things we always took for granted (scouts, soccer, co-op, etc.) After we move, I will be cleaning my mother's house in exchange for her paying for things like this for the dc. My dad paid for soccer and most of the annual fee for our homeschool group.

 

We have been living on next to nothing for awhile - it does get easier! Can you get a job? That is what I will be doing as soon as the trailer is done.

[tex-mex]

Right now a job is a job and his degree means nothing to UPS. Take it and keep looking.

 

I agree... many people with degrees and experience are taking low paying jobs.

[keptwoman]

OP I'm so sorry. We've been there also, 5 months, and it was so hard.

You will get through, hold on to that through the hell.

[mama2cntrykids]

I agree, take the job! My dh was out of work for four months and got offered a job in a town 2 hrs from us. He didn't hesitate to accept it. For right now, he will be gone Sunday night-Thursday evening, but we're doing it. Is it hard? You bet! I am just so thankful for something. Plus, hopefully, we wll be able to sell our house and move closer to his job soon. A wing and a prayer, lol.

 

UPS could really turn out to be a great job since they hire from with-in. He could work his way up the chain in no time. Plus, he could still look while he has the job since it's part time right now. Absolutely go through your finances and see what you can cut out or cut back.

 

HTH a little!

[AmeliaJade]

Has he considered joining the military? Military has housing, medical benefits and pays decent. Also, I believe that they are now accepting recruits as old as 43-ish or so.

 

I do not think military is the best option. I say this as a military spouse. The Army is currently taking recruits as old as 42 as is the Army Reserves. All other branches have cut offs significantly lower than that.

 

The medical beneifts are nice, but base housing is never a guarantee.They do pay you a housing allowance but often times it is nowhere near enough to cover the cost of housing in your area. I can tell you that the Air Force bases their housing allowance based on the neighborhood closest to base. Bases are generally located in the worst parts of town. We live in Las Vegas. The base is in the absolute worst part of town. We live across town from the base and we have to pay a significant portion out of pocket for our rent because what the Air Force provides is not enough to cover rent and utilities. To rent a house with the money they provide would mean living in something tiny and in the rundown area of town.

 

As for pay, look up a basic pay chart. My husband makes about $30,000 a year but that is BEFORE taxes. That really isn't something to write home about. Many military families are on WIC. At our last base we volunteered at the base food pantry and it was always getting cleaned out because families didn't have enough for groceries. We have always done okay but we are huge about budgeting and socking money away. Unless you are an officer, pay isn't really that great. But the medical benefits do somewhat make up for it.

 

I'm not sure how old the OPs husband is but unless he is under 35 he only qualifies to join the Army and I just can't imagine choosing that lifestyle with our current political situation. Army deployments are LONG!