Large Families

[joannqn]

You ladies crack me up! My parents had seven and I miss the "large" family atmosphere I grew up in.

 

I grew up in a small family...just me and my brother. My brother is severely mental disabled and lives in a group home now; he doesn't know me. Because of major dysfunction, I don't really talk to my family, except my father. My hubby is the same way; we don't really talk to his family much either. I've always wanted a big, extended family with the family holidays and such. I figure the only way I'm getting that is if I make my own. I'm looking forward to holidays with my adult kids and my grandchildren.

 

Instead I get comments about how "lucky" I was to get a boy and then a girl so I could stop. Stop? Who wants to stop? It isn't as if I "stopped" on purpose. Nor was the "smart" 5 year gap my idea of a good plan.

 

I have a 5 year age gap too and I HATE IT. My 2 year old is constantly bothering my older two and irritates them. They play with him sometimes but he wants to be in their way all the time. I can't wait until Madelynn is old enough to be a playmate for him.

[classicHSmom]

My friend has a GREAT one. She has 4 under 5 and when someone tells her "You sure have your hands full" she replies with "Oh, you should see my heart".

 

Oh, I love this. Now if I can just remember it!

 

I get many of the comments that you all have and I only have three kids. We are hoping to be blessed with another baby next year (TTC). I'm getting old enough that we probably won't have 10 kids, but we look forward to as many as God will give.

 

I am fortunate to be surrounded by many large families. With the exception of one family with two children at church, the rest of the families have three or more children (all the way to 10) and counting. Only a few families don't homeschool, too. Now if our families would get on board, we'd be set.

 

Congratulations to the OP. Thanks for your insight experienced mamas.

[susie in tx]

When we had 4, I got a lot of comments. They were all 8 and under at the time, but my oldest looked a lot younger. I'm pretty sure that people just assumed they were "stair step" children. Now, we have 5. They are all girls, so I get a lot of comments about the all girl thing. It's actually more irritating than the "are they all yours?" comments. Yes, my husband is the only male in the family. Why yes, he would really like a son. No, we're not trying for a boy. Yes, I have one hand full. I'll let you know when I have two.

 

Good grief.

 

I'm a member of the MOMYS yahoogroup. They talk about stuff like this there. http://www.momys.net

[MamaSheep]

I grew up in a small family...just me and my brother. My brother is severely mental disabled and lives in a group home now; he doesn't know me. Because of major dysfunction, I don't really talk to my family, except my father. My hubby is the same way; we don't really talk to his family much either. I've always wanted a big, extended family with the family holidays and such. I figure the only way I'm getting that is if I make my own. I'm looking forward to holidays with my adult kids and my grandchildren.

 

 

My ds is disabled too, though not nearly to that extent. I don't honestly know what the future holds for him. He may live a slightly quirky version of a more or less "normal" life. He may wind up in a group home (though as he gets older I think this less and less likely, he's already overcome so much). But I think it's fairly likely that he'll be living on his own, but need someone to check up on him regularly and give him some occasional coaching. Dh and I won't be around forever, and the burden may well fall squarely on dd's shoulders. It doesn't seem fair to make her shoulder it alone and I'd love for both of them to have a support system of siblings to draw on. But God evidently had other plans, and I keep reminding myself that He knows what He's doing. And really, with dd's personality if anyone will cheerfully and willingly take on a project like being her brother's keeper, it'll be her. It'll be interesting to watch things unfold.

 

I have a 5 year age gap too and I HATE IT. My 2 year old is constantly bothering my older two and irritates them. They play with him sometimes but he wants to be in their way all the time. I can't wait until Madelynn is old enough to be a playmate for him.

 

Yep. I hear ya. Thank goodness for a neighborhood full of playmates dd's age, or none of us would ever have any peace...lol.

[Mommy22alyns]

I don't consider us a 'large' family, but some do.

 

One of the funniest things happened when I was pregnant with Princess. I had a dayhome at the time, and minded a little girl a month older than Tazzie, who was 16 mths old. Honestly, they looked like they could be sibs, both blonde and blue eyed.

 

So, I have them in the tandem stroller and go into Tim Hortons. I could hear a table of older ladies commenting.

 

"Wow, she's pregnant again!"

"It must be some sort of religious thing."

"That poor woman!"

"What if its twins again?"

So, me being me, as we were leaving looked right at them, smiled widely, and said, "Actually, the dr says its quads this time!" and watched coffee come out of one of their noses :D:lol:

 

 

 

 

I love it!! :lol::lol:

 

Otherwise, I have no business being in this thread - but I love to read about you amazing ladies! :001_smile:

[OHGrandma]

When asked "Don't you know what causes that" I used to ALWAYS say "No, what?" with a puzzled look. :P Now that the older ones are bigger, I just don't get that one anymore (yet).

 

My friend has a GREAT one. She has 4 under 5 and when someone tells her "You sure have your hands full" she replies with "Oh, you should see my heart".

 

That is so sweet!

[FlockOfSillies]

I've been getting the big family comments since I had three. Even my sister started in with the Jon and Kate nonsense last night. CURSE THOSE PEOPLE AND THEIR TV SHOW! :banghead:

 

I get looks all the time with the tandem stroller and the two babies very close in age. I'm looking forward to exiting the toddler tunnel. Then it's all head-counting.

 

The biggest challenge is just keeping my 20-month-old dd away from powdery substances.

[phathui5]

We have four and I also do childcare, so when we go out I have 6-9 kids.

 

My biggest challenge is the house right now, getting anything else other than taking care of kids done. When I get a spare minute (like now), I want to SIT, not clean.

 

I wanted to recommend the book Table for Eight:

http://www.amazon.com/Table-Eight-Raising-Family-Small-Family/dp/1592576737

[Katiebug_1976]

Dh and I have been married 14 years and have 5 (soon to be 6) children, and I can sympathize with your frustration. I think the questions that bother me the most, and I have heard them multiple times, is "How many father's are there?" or, directed to my husband while I am standing next to him, "Are they ALL yours?" Those are more insults to me than innocent questions. The innocent questions don't bother me that much anymore, however, a lot of them do sadden me. The worst ones are something to the effect of, "Boy, I bet you can't wait for school to start!" to this I reply with, "We homeschool, so school never really stops for us." Then I get all kinds of responses like, "How do you stay sane?" or "I couldn't stand to be around my kids for that long!" etc. There are a few people who think it's great, but it's the ones that "cannot stand to be around their kids" that really bothers me. I want to be around my kids! Granted, there are moments in the day where I need a break, or they need a break, but overall, how can you NOT want to be with your kids? Oops, I guess I kind of got carried away. I'll get off my soap box now. This one just really hits home with me.

On the positive side, we do get many compliments on how well behaved our children are in public. Sometimes people are even amazed at the knowledge a certain child has. So I guess it all evens out. I just tell my kids that life is too short to worry about the comment of others. We need to set a good example, and don't let the negative comments drag us down.

Edited August 12, 2009 by Katiebug_1976

[kmacnchs]

It seems like our church is a cult when it comes to children...everyone has 4! I am not kidding. There are about 6 families with 4 children (all came about this differently)! I am a little worried of what they will say if God blesses us with more than 4...we'll be the odd ones out! :D Oh, and our church only has about 60 members so those families make the most of it :)

 

As long as my children are behaving, I try to let it roll off my back. No, 3 is not a lot but they are all close in age so I get 'those' comments and looks.

 

About the colds...my dh is the oldest of 5 (really spread out too) so once a cold has gone through all of them, it would just start over! Yuk!

Edited August 12, 2009 by kmacnchs

[kmacnchs]

For those of you who do not have inbred children, just be thankful you don't get the double whammy! (let me explain)

 

My fil is from Ecuador and my mil is from nc. So, not only did she get comments on how many children she had but she got, "what's he?" She would just say "part cocker-spaniel..." why would you ask that? How rude!

 

No one has asked me that but I do get looks (some of mine are white as a ghost like me and some are EXTREMELY tan) and I'm sure I'll get comments when they are older since I have tan, brown-headed babies and white, blonde-headed ones...oh well.

[Colleen in SEVA]

"You sure have your hands full" she replies with "Oh, you should see my heart".

 

Oh, this is so great! I must remember that.

 

For my boys' sake, I always try to reply with a "thank you, yes they are wonderful".

 

In one of my less-than-stellar moments, a VERY RUDE, snobby lady looked at my kids and said "Wow, all boys? You poor thing!" I was so bothered by the tone in her voice that I replied "Oh, we don't keep the girls." (Yes I know this was bad -- but it was better than what I wanted to say)

 

With 5 boys so close in age, we get a lot of comments. A lot.

 

To the "You've got your hands full." I say "Yes, but luckily they are great helpers."

 

To the "Are they all yours?" I say "Only the cute ones." (My boys always giggle at this)

 

I have only gotten the "Don't you know what causes this" from family members -- and I point out to them that I knew what I was getting into when I married DH because there haven't been any girls in 3 generations.