Stay at home schoolers vs extra curriculars

[HollyDay]

This is the first year people have given me grief about extra curricular activities. I have been aware of homeschoolers who are passionate about staying at home. I also know folks who are out everyday of the week. Whatever works.

 

But this year, folks are giving me grief for choosing to participate in outside things: ballet, gymnastics, music. These are great activities. Dc love them.

 

Does anyone else find there is a line being drawn between "stay home homeschoolers" and "outside activities homeschooler"?

[katemary63]

huh? no, that idea had never entered my mind. Why would anyone care what another family did or didn't do?

[beezus]

Most of the homeschoolers I know in my area tend to be folks who do a lot of outside activities, and I'm not aware of there being different camps based on this distinction. Of course, I suppose I naturally wouldn't run into the stay at home people as much if they aren't out doing the same things we are.

 

It seems ironic how so many non-homeschoolers express concern that by doing school at home our kids will be somehow deprived of social opportunities, yet others criticize us for doing too many outside things. I am just glad that I can choose the outside music, sports, art and other activities that suit my kiddo and are what she wants to do. :)

[johnandtinagilbert]

I'm sure we all have our reasons to go in either direction. I'd enjoy a bit more outside activity...only a bit, though as schooling 5 dc does require a great deal of time focusing on academics. Having a second car might help that, too :), but since I don't we're home-home schoolers!

 

As for people who are gone all the time, I honestly wonder how on earth they are offering rich academics whilst running here and there. I, personally would not be Able. I'm not judging, just recognizing, I would not be capable of offering both and doing well.

 

I don't feel the pull that you mentioned though, cuz I surround myself with people who encourage me in a variety of areas.

[Denise in Florida]

My friends occasionally make fun of me because my family is very active. Not meanly, just kind of teasing about 'when do you sleep'.

 

No two homeschool families are the same. Just nod and tell them that your family is 'doing fine, thank you'.

 

This is my own opinion, but it seems as if the people that are bothered the most by what others do are the people that are the least satisfied by their own choices. Your mileage my vary.

[tricia]

Just have to find that happy medium. Sometimes that begins with ignoring other people and their opinions.:bigear:

[Tutor]

I am having the opposite problem. I have two middle schoolers whose workloads increased quite a bit this year. I have decided to limit daytime outside activities so that we can focus during the day on school before relaxing and venturing out in the afternoon and evening. I have gotten quite a bit of chastisement for not being able to go to activities at lunch time. The irony is that this wouldn't even be an issue (we went to these activities last year), but someone in our homeschool group took it upon herself to change the times to earlier in the day when it was more convenient for her, so now we can't go. :glare: (No one else in the group minds the time-change since they are generally unschoolers with young children and a very flexible schedule.)

[johnandtinagilbert]

I am having the opposite problem. I have two middle schoolers whose workloads increased quite a bit this year. I have decided to limit daytime outside activities so that we can focus during the day on school before relaxing and venturing out in the afternoon and evening.

 

That's really the case for us, too. Our middle school course load means business!

 

Perhaps you could petition for a rotating schedule since no one else really cares. That way you can still enjoy, just not as often.

[momto4girls]

Does anyone else find there is a line being drawn between "stay home homeschoolers" and "outside activities homeschooler"?

 

I know what you mean. I've run into this. There hasn't been directly 'mean' commentary, but stuff like, "Wow! You're soooo busy. We just like to stay at home and have lots of quality family time." There's nothing negative in that, but of course I feel like we miss out on family dinner too often b/c of our swim team practice so I take their comments to mean "You're not spending enough quality time together," which isn't what was really said... Maybe the folks giving negative comments to you deep down wish they, too, could afford (either timewise or monetarily) to do the same thing? Not that that's all that helpful - just a thought. :)

[TraceyS/FL]

That's really the case for us, too. Our middle school course load means business!

 

Perhaps you could petition for a rotating schedule since no one else really cares. That way you can still enjoy, just not as often.

 

My middle schooler is busy too. She knows when we are out that might mean school on a weekend - but she knows what has to get done.

 

During the day stuff is hard - most we want to do for us ends up being all day, so we don't end up making it. I just can give up that much school time (despite what the STBXH & his family think). We have gymnastics 1 night a week now (i just changed from 2 - all kids in same class now), CAP 1 night, a Play in Orlando 1 friday a month, art class at the library every monday after lunch, maybe a cooking class. Now we will be having therapy 2-3 days a week that will take almost 3 hours to get there, have the session, and get home.

 

They younger 2 could technically do "specials" at the private umbrella we might switch too (if allowed to continue to hs), but right now, that is looking like the schedule might be too full.

 

ANYWAY.... all that stuff doesn't leave a lot of time for family and SCHOOL. Each family must sort out their balance....

[ConnieB]

We homeschool year round and the two main reasons are so that we can do all these extra things and travel with DH on business trips as well because it's 110 degrees or hotter most of the summer here, lol. LOTS of book/seat work gets done when it's too hot to go outside, but then when the weather turns nice we're probably out of the house doing those extras 2-3 days a week. Our city offers a lot of special events, we have a HUGE homeschool community that also offers lots of classes, field trips, fine arts events, etc.

 

 

If YOU are concerned about whether you're doing "enough" school, then sit down and figure out what your typical week would look like with all those extras. How many hours will you be "doing" school? Now compare that to your typical public school. I have two relatives who are certified teachers and they tell me that the kids have 6 classes of 50 minutes, 10 minutes between classes, and 30 minutes for lunch. THey also tell me that of that 50 minutes of classtime with all the extra things they have to do (attendance, bulletins, homework assignments collected, discipline and waiting for books/pencils/paper to be gotten out, plus explaining the homework assignment).....all of which homeschoolers do NOT do, they both feel that they get 20-30 minutes of true learning in on a typical day. So that's 30mins x 6 classes or 180 minutes per day. 3 hours per day. For 180 days a year. So do the math for your hours/days to see if you stack up. We do a LOT more than that if you average out the year.

 

Also, keep in mind that one of those classes that the public schoolers do is physical education.....and your ballet/gymnastics/sports would certainly be at least the equivalent. Music is not always offered in public schools anymore, but I would definitely consider that to be one of their school subjects.

 

 

Once you have those facts spelled out for YOURSELF, then you can decide whether to come up with a speech to give to those who worry, or to pass the bean dip (as the "hive" is so fond of saying).

 

Another thing to think about.....most public schools kids have a LOT of after school activities.....scouts, sports, ballet, music, not to mention tutoring etc. If they can fit it all in, why shouldn't your family be able to do the same?

Edited August 10, 2009 by ConnieB
hit submit on accident, lol.

[ConnieB]

I am having the opposite problem. I have two middle schoolers whose workloads increased quite a bit this year. I have decided to limit daytime outside activities so that we can focus during the day on school before relaxing and venturing out in the afternoon and evening. I have gotten quite a bit of chastisement for not being able to go to activities at lunch time. The irony is that this wouldn't even be an issue (we went to these activities last year), but someone in our homeschool group took it upon herself to change the times to earlier in the day when it was more convenient for her, so now we can't go. :glare: (No one else in the group minds the time-change since they are generally unschoolers with young children and a very flexible schedule.)

 

 

Are your kids able to stop and start workloads easily? Maybe you could take an extended break at lunchtime to participate in activities, and pick up the work when you got home? I know not all kids (or moms) can get back into it once you've stopped, so it might not work for you, but worth considering?

[HollyDay]

So far, we are happy with what we are doing. It is basically the same as last year. Is it hard? Sometimes. Throw in an orthodontist appt, PMS, or a poor night's sleep and it is more difficult to get everything done joyfully. But, basically it works for us.

 

What is "getting my goat" this year, is all the moms making comments like:

"Homeschool is about home - not outside activities"

 

"We only leave our house 1 day a week - that is the right way to do it" (this is a direct quote by the way)

 

"You are teaching your dc to enjoy the pleasures of worldly activities not quite pursuits"

 

I would never think to make comments like these. Certainly if someone approaches me needing advice on a too busy schedule, I will help them to solve it for themselves. I just have run into so many judgemental people lately. THEIR way is the ONLY way to do IT right. It makes me frustrated KWIM?

[Ester Maria]

As somebody nicely pointed out, a lot of activities can "count" as school work as well - especially as far as music and P.E.-substitutes are concerned.

 

I wish my daughters wanted to do more outside activities! I basically have to force some physical activity every year (and they change it if not every semester, then at least every year), though they do plenty of informal socializing with their peers (they're both very extrovert, social kind of persons). But I can't talk them into anything more serious outside. We travel lots, though, and they spend significant portions of time each year on the travel and abroad.

 

We do the schooling at home, except for sports - but I see no reason not to do some of it out of home, if it works better for you and your children, and especially if we talk of the specific activities in which they should be guided by the professionals (i.e. sports and music mainly).

 

Ignore those comments and do what fits you and your children the best.

[ConnieB]

So far, we are happy with what we are doing. It is basically the same as last year. Is it hard? Sometimes. Throw in an orthodontist appt, PMS, or a poor night's sleep and it is more difficult to get everything done joyfully. But, basically it works for us.

 

What is "getting my goat" this year, is all the moms making comments like:

"Homeschool is about home - not outside activities" I'd remark "we love the quality time that we spend as a family whether we're home or on a fun adventure. It brings us closer together." Who's gonna argue with family quality time, lol

 

"We only leave our house 1 day a week - that is the right way to do it" (this is a direct quote by the way) I'd remark: "I'm glad you've found a way that works for your family. My family tries to be open to the wonderful educational, spiritual and bonding opportunity that our town offers. " Ok, me and my mouth would probably have to add, "instead of being rigidly held to an arbitrary calendar."

 

"You are teaching your dc to enjoy the pleasures of worldly activities not quite pursuits" I'd remark: "I'm teaching my children to love the world that God created and all the opportunities that He has placed within our reach". Of course, I guess if you're worldly activities aren't something your spiritual beliefs would approve of, that one won't work, but I don't see that ballet, gymnastics or music could be considered unGodly.

 

I would never think to make comments like these. Well, so maybe you need to wonder if you really want the opinions of those who would? I've said often, and loudly, that homeschooling is about doing what is right for MY family....and it may not be at all right for other families. Therefore, I could never presume to tell someone else that they're doing it wrong! Like you, if they ask for my help I'll assume it's because they like what they see my family doing and I'm always happy to tell them what works for us, and what hasn't.....but I've yet to find anyone who I'd say did things even 50% like we do, lol. We love the "go with the flow" method.

 

Certainly if someone approaches me needing advice on a too busy schedule, I will help them to solve it for themselves. I just have run into so many judgemental people lately. THEIR way is the ONLY way to do IT right. It makes me frustrated KWIM?

 

See the answers above in red